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tara44

Member
Oct 17, 2024
78
I want to CTB I've got everything I need but I'm so terrified I'm going to a bad place when I die. I hear voices in my head telling me I'm going to be tortured for eternity.
 
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SVEN

SVEN

I Wish I'd Been a Jester Too.
Apr 3, 2023
2,404
I believe those voices are false, Tara. We will all die, one day. And if life becomes unendurable all we are doing by ctb is speeding up the process. I'm sorry you find yourself in a position like this and wish you nothing but good.
 
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tara44

Member
Oct 17, 2024
78
I believe those voices are false, Tara. We will all die, one day. And if life becomes unendurable all we are doing by ctb is speeding up the process. I'm sorry you find yourself in a position like this and wish you nothing but good.
Thank you. Where do you think we go?
 
SVEN

SVEN

I Wish I'd Been a Jester Too.
Apr 3, 2023
2,404
It's hard to know, Tara. If you have a religious faith at all then I believe that if ordinary, failing humans like us can understand the sadness, despair and pain which lead to ctb surely an all wise and knowing Creator knows and understands how you feel even better than we can.
If there is nothing, then it'll be just like it was before we were born. Difficult to imagine, but no more "me" and no awareness of anything, because there is no one there to be aware.
Sorry, I'm a bit paranoid and I don't do messaging.
 
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tara44

Member
Oct 17, 2024
78
It's hard to know, Tara. If you have a religious faith at all then I believe that if ordinary, failing humans like us can understand the sadness, despair and pain which lead to ctb surely an all wise and knowing Creator knows and understands how you feel even better than we can.
If there is nothing, then it'll be just like it was before we were born. Difficult to imagine, but no more "me" and no awareness of anything, because there is no one there to be aware.
Sorry, I'm a bit paranoid and I don't do messaging.
Yes I don't think anyone truly knows hey. I just hope I'm surrounded by love
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
41,478
I also just wish to be free from it all, I personally believe the only torture is in existing, I see death as nothing more than an eternal, dreamless sleep where all is gone. But anyway I wish you the best.
 
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tara44

Member
Oct 17, 2024
78
I also just wish to be free from it all, I personally believe the only torture is in existing, I see death as nothing more than an eternal, dreamless sleep where all is gone. But anyway I wish you the best.
What makes you stay alive if you believe this?
 
Xanabby

Xanabby

Dogs and death lover
Feb 20, 2022
29
We've been indoctrinated to think that suicide is bad and that we will be punished for it.
Using your free will to make a decision about your own life is not a sin.
Don't you think you feel guilty because of all this pro life propaganda there's everywhere?
 
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tara44

Member
Oct 17, 2024
78
We've been indoctrinated to think that suicide is bad and that we will be punished for it.
Using your free will to make a decision about your own life is not a sin.
Don't you think you feel guilty because of all this pro life propaganda there's everywhere?
Agreed. I hope you're right!
We've been indoctrinated to think that suicide is bad and that we will be punished for it.
Using your free will to make a decision about your own life is not a sin.
Don't you think you feel guilty because of all this pro life propaganda there's everywhere?
Fuck the world
 
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Catastrofe

Student
Apr 5, 2023
124
I want to CTB I've got everything I need but I'm so terrified I'm going to a bad place when I die. I hear voices in my head telling me I'm going to be tortured for eternity.
Dear, I think you are judging yourself very hardly - it is where the voices come from.
If a person is suffering so badly that they want to ctb, there is nothing to judge, there is a lot to be sorry for. Every sort of religion gave so hars judgement over this, but I am sure that only humans can be so cruel one to the other. If there is any king of God, compassion will be his/her/** way.
We are only humans, and sometimes we struggle so much with ourselves and life that we cannot really take it anymore. This is legitimate too. Try to think it through before ctb, try to tell youself that there is nothing wrong in how you are feeling.
 
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Worndown

Worndown

Illuminated
Mar 21, 2019
3,419
Voices often mirror your worst fears.
Many religions say you go to hell if you end your life. Some also say you go to hell if you wear a dress or report abuse (guys) wear pants or vote (women).
A messed up experience.

You are going through torture now. Can it get worse?
 
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tara44

Member
Oct 17, 2024
78
Dear, I think you are judging yourself very hardly - it is where the voices come from.
If a person is suffering so badly that they want to ctb, there is nothing to judge, there is a lot to be sorry for. Every sort of religion gave so hars judgement over this, but I am sure that only humans can be so cruel one to the other. If there is any king of God, compassion will be his/her/** way.
We are only humans, and sometimes we struggle so much with ourselves and life that we cannot really take it anymore. This is legitimate too. Try to think it through before ctb, try to tell youself that there is nothing wrong in how you are feeling.
Thank you so much 😭
Voices often mirror your worst fears.
Many religions say you go to hell if you end your life. Some also say you go to hell if you wear a dress or report abuse (guys) wear pants or vote (women).
A messed up experience.

You are going through torture now. Can it get worse?
It can't get worse then it is. I just hope it doesn't get worse when I die :( I think I'll do it tomorrow
 
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OptingOutSmiling

OptingOutSmiling

Mage
Nov 25, 2024
580
May you find peace in dealing with the voices, sending you love.
 
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OptingOutSmiling

OptingOutSmiling

Mage
Nov 25, 2024
580
Do you think the voices will come with me when I CTB?
I doubt, since they should be gone then too, but I hope that you could quiet them somehow before and be at peace with your decision. Nobody knows what happens after, we can only make decisions based on the present, and only we can decide too what is best for us. Have these voices been with you for some time, or just when you think about ctb?
 
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tara44

Member
Oct 17, 2024
78
I doubt, since they should be gone then too, but I hope that you could quiet them somehow before and be at peace with your decision. Nobody knows what happens after, we can only make decisions based on the present, and only we can decide too what is best for us. Have these voices been with you for some time, or just when you think about ctb?
They've been with me for over a year. :(
 
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OptingOutSmiling

OptingOutSmiling

Mage
Nov 25, 2024
580
They've been with me for over a year. :(
I'm truly sorry that you have to deal with them. I have no experience in this and cannot imagine what you are going through. I do believe that love is stronger than anything and that if your heart is filled with love, I cannot see how you won't be surrounded by love as you hope. Was there something that you think triggered the voices? I wish they would disappear and I wish you only the best :hug:
 
divinemistress36

divinemistress36

Angelic
Jan 1, 2024
4,137
I watch ndes on youtube to feel better about death. They may be fake but its still comforting
 
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