
ElTopo
Don't listen to me, I am drunk
- Mar 30, 2025
- 169
Lately I feel nothing, I can't look forward to anything, I don't even feel sad and despaired, I'm just very neutral towards everything, it's almost like I'm not even here.
Through most of my struggles I've always wanted someone who would listen but now even if that someone was here I feel like it wouldn't help at all, it's like time is up for my recovery, now it's just a road towards the end, no help, no amount of love can save me now. I'm forever lost, and even if I were to keep on living I'd still be lost, like a husk of myself.
I spent some more time thinking about the morality of my suicide and I've always end up with the same conclusion that maybe this isn't about others but more about me, and I shouldn't live a life I don't want to live so I don't displease others. I always come to this but the doubt of the pain I'll cause always comes back, anyway this is my stance I think.
I have literally nothing to tell anymore but I wish I had. Only thing that comforts me is sleep, I've always had pretty bad insomnia but lately I've been sleeping more, and it would be better if it wasn't so damn hot in here.
Through most of my struggles I've always wanted someone who would listen but now even if that someone was here I feel like it wouldn't help at all, it's like time is up for my recovery, now it's just a road towards the end, no help, no amount of love can save me now. I'm forever lost, and even if I were to keep on living I'd still be lost, like a husk of myself.
I spent some more time thinking about the morality of my suicide and I've always end up with the same conclusion that maybe this isn't about others but more about me, and I shouldn't live a life I don't want to live so I don't displease others. I always come to this but the doubt of the pain I'll cause always comes back, anyway this is my stance I think.
I have literally nothing to tell anymore but I wish I had. Only thing that comforts me is sleep, I've always had pretty bad insomnia but lately I've been sleeping more, and it would be better if it wasn't so damn hot in here.