Venting I wish I had been born normal

[SweetDreams500]

I wish I had been born in a normal, healthy family. I wish I had been raised normal. I wish I had friends, I wish I had good social skills, discipline, a boyfriend. But I don't. These things are essentially unattainable for me. I am so broken, I'm constantly being hounded by so many different things, it is impossible for me to make progress. I've known this for a while now, but still, I can't muster the courage to kill myself. I just can't. I should have done it ages ago. There's nothing for me here. Nothing. Only pain. It is a chore to keep on living like this, and I just want it all to end.

 

[whywere]

You are such a loving, caring and beautiful prson, your post says that. I too had no family, I was called "the mistake" by my "parents" till they kicked me out. I am 65 years young and my social skills do not even exist. Now being 65 does NOT make me any smarter, probably dumber, BUT I do have life experience and with that said, I 100% believe in you that you are a great person who is finding their way in this world. I am here as far as if you ever want to pm me, I am not on 100% of the time, but I will respond as soon as I hop on. Sending you @SweetDreams500 all the love, caring and SUPPORT that I have in my being to you and please remember that you are family here and when you hurt so do I. Take care, my wish for you is a sunny day today with a cold drink in your hand. Walter

 

[Black Rose Bunny]

I wish I had been born in a normal, healthy family. I wish I had been raised normal. I wish I had friends, I wish I had good social skills, discipline, a boyfriend. But I don't. These things are essentially unattainable for me. I am so broken, I'm constantly being hounded by so many different things, it is impossible for me to make progress. I've known this for a while now, but still, I can't muster the courage to kill myself. I just can't. I should have done it ages ago. There's nothing for me here. Nothing. Only pain. It is a chore to keep on living like this, and I just want it all to end.

This is so relatable to me. I remember in school one time my friend was telling me a story about her family and it dawned on me how what my family is wasn't normal, and my parents will never love me, much less as much as most other people's do..

I feel like my mental health has become so broken.. and sometimes I wonder if I had a normal life, if I had a loving, caring family how different things could be. But at this point the damage has been done and it's irreversible, but I'm still too much of a coward to do it..

I know my family are starting to get frustrated that I haven't done it yet, they get so close to saying it, telling me to, but never quite say it directly.

 

[LONE WOLF.]

I wish l had Never been born! And the circumstances of my birth make me weep!

 

[WornOutLife]

I like being "crazy" and not being a normie however...
If I were normal, my dad wouldn't have to suffer because I wouldn't ctb and that would be amazing.
Thus, I guess I wish I was normal too.

 

[Neowise]

I feel sorry for you. I also wished I was born in a normal, loving family and raised normal. Instead, I was raised to being a freak through sheer emotional abuse. That's why I am here.

I don't think that all of these things are unobtainable for you though. Maybe you don't have a lot of discipline, many friends or a boyfriend, but I don't believe that is because you are a bad person. Depression makes it difficult to focus and stay motivated, it makes people sad and withdraw themselves from social life more (even unconciously). I'd say most people with depression suffer from a lack of discipline and only have few friends (including me), but that doesn't mean that we - or you - are worse people. We are just mentally ill, but that is rarely our fault.

I do believe that you will have your great moment of progress and I wish you the strength to get to it :)
If you want to talk or vent, I'd be here to listen.

 

[lofticries]

I wish I had never been born period. Even the normies who had a decent upbringing and no mental illness suffer.

 

[SweetDreams500]

I wish I had never been born period. Even the normies who had a decent upbringing and no mental illness suffer.

the suffering is most certainly worth it. for those who get to experience all of the good things live has to offer, that is.

 

[lofticries]

Different strokes for different folks. I don't feel that it is but you are entitled to your own opinion.

 

[ikadasui]

I wish l had Never been born! And the circumstances of my birth make me weep!

Fucking same. I'm adopted too and that makes it worse. So much worse. Knowing I literally wasn't wanted but instead of being aborted I'm now here and miserable every second

 

[eternalmelancholy]

I don't know how anyone can have kids in this fucked up existence. Everyone knows life sucks but pretend otherwise.

Even on here, a suicide forum, people still end up having kids even though they desperately want to escape this world.

I wish I was never born. I resent my parents and the universe for the fact that I had to be born.

 

[LONE WOLF.]

Fucking same. I'm adopted too and that makes it worse. So much worse. Knowing I literally wasn't wanted but instead of being aborted I'm now here and miserable every second

Sorry mistoras but not the same, in 1971 a 14 yr old school girl was raped on her way home and guess who's the result of that act of Evil? That's right 'Me' then l was adopted by a abusive pair of bastard's who made my life hell for 17yrs, there's more but l don't want to bring up that darkness! However I too wish I'd been aborted!