Venting I wish people with gender dysphoria were allowed an assisted suicide

[scary]

I don't know if other states and countries allow this, but where I live it sure as hell isn't. I know plenty of trans people online who are happy with themselves and their transition, and I'm happy for them.. but what about the people who don't want to make that change? what about the people who would rather just die than go through all that and face ridicule?

I'm a very all or nothing person. I know hormones won't completely turn me into the opposite sex, and that depresses me. I personally don't consider myself trans, I refer to myself as the gender I was born as, but I still have gender dysphoria I think... at the end of the day I just don't see transitioning as a viable option for me.

Gender dysphoria just seems like an incurable thing. Sure there is hormones and surgery, but I don't have the funds or the support for it, plus I know I'll just seem like an imitation to most people. I'm pretty sure I just developed an autistic fixation on the whole concept anyway, I don't believe any of my feelings are real, but at the same time I wished every day that I was just born different.

I know that I'd probably sound like I'm promoting eugenics, that if you're trans/have dysphoria your life is pretty much over the moment it started, but that's not what I mean. People with other mental health disorders get to have their say in whether their mental health makes their own personal life bearable or not. I just wish that you could say the same thing in regards to GD without being dogpiled saying you're promoting trans genocide.

I do believe trans people can live happy and fulfilling lives, really, but it's just not me. I miss being able to look in the mirror without having a panic attack. Damn it I wish I was normal.


Anyway, it's almost officially autumn and I am glad that we moved up north. I was born and raised in Florida and I don't miss it one bit. I'm kinda looking forward to the leaves finally changing colors and getting to experience a true autumn. I'm a bit confused cause I got a message from one of the mods saying I had a strike for making an alt account? I don't know. If the mods are reading this, I'm sorry for that whole inconvenience. This is the only account I ever made.. idk what the hell happened but oh well. I don't mean to vent or gossip I'm just genuinely confused about my whole situation regarding it.

Here's a bunny with a pumpkin because it's cute and is getting me into the fall mood. I may be mentally ill but at least cute bunnies exist (if the picture doesn't show up that's embarrassing but trust me he's there)

 

[R. A.]

face ridicule

I don't have the funds or the support for it, plus I know I'll just seem like an imitation to most people

don't you wish, i dunno....western society just wasn't so fucking transphobic? sounds like a better option than society "letting" you die idk

also,

don't consider myself trans

I still have gender dysphoria I think

I wished every day that I was just born different.

is very interesting to me.

p.s. yes the bunny is visible.
bundle up for winter...

 

[that_miqo'te]

Ok I want to die over being trans too but if this was an option then our governments would be even shittier to us to try and get us to do it

 

[shampoo sniffer]

I'm not transgender but I think can sympathise with hating your own body. I was happily female as a child until I was abused in my teens. Now I have self disgust and hatred, and I despise being me.

 

[scary]

don't you wish, i dunno....western society just wasn't so fucking transphobic? sounds like a better option than society "letting" you die idk

Yeah I get what you mean. I do wish society was better towards trans people, I just wish that transitioning changed everything about me. I have really bad bottom dysphoria and I heard that the surgeries for it aren't the best. I dunno, I wrote this late and its just a complicated topic for me personally in regards to my own dysphoria.

 

[bluegodism]

rationally, i would say: it's better to have therapy and HRT for trans people. gender-affirming care. but emotionally, i agree. as a trans man, i genuinely think that my life is already permanently ruined because im not cis.

 

[nemesis_]

i have so much sympathy for trans people as someone with body dysmorphia. i think our issues are very similar. we both feel like we're in the wrong body, just for different reasons. so yeah, i completely understand you and fully agree that assisted suicide should be an option for people like us. there's no real, all-encompassing solution to our problems, only half-measures and bandaids meant solely to prolong our suffering; to keep us alive but not living.

i'm so sorry you're in so much pain<3
p.s. the bunny's adorable!! (๑>◡<๑)

 

[womanactually]

It would be better if transition medical cost was free, like we didn't choose to be trans. Its also true that some people medically can't get hormones or surgeries so I can argue that euthanasia would be good for them.

 

[rainatthebusstop]

May I preface this by saying that you're not the only one who has thought that? But then again, I live in a country without assisted suicide for the terminally ill. Can't squeeze you out for money if you're dead and Dr Swango wants that fifth fucking Ferrari.

at the end of the day I just don't see transitioning as a viable option for me.

It probably isn't for a lot of people. HRT is expensive and has a lot of health risks associated with it. Plus there's still societies general transphobia, and the rejection you will face if you don't pass.

Gender dysphoria just seems like an incurable thing. Sure there is hormones and surgery, but I don't have the funds or the support for it, plus I know I'll just seem like an imitation to most people. I'm pretty sure I just developed an autistic fixation on the whole concept anyway, I don't believe any of my feelings are real, but at the same time I wished every day that I was just born different.

It sounds like your feelings are real, just very complex. That's reasonable. I highly doubt most of the transpeople, online or not, haven't had that struggle. Because it is a hard conflict to know you're not who everyone tell you you are and that you are objectively wrong with feeling that way.

Damn it I wish I was normal

Yeah that boils it down, doesn't it? I wish I could just be happy with life, with my body not feeling like a needling blanket and have aspirations and dreams and shit, but noooo. Normal people don't really know how good they have it, so they?

 

[Cristian]

Not making any promises this will help, but I'm reminded of this (particularly the line/title "Killing All the Right People"):