Venting i’d prefer if my life got better instead of ctb

[almaPerdida]

i don't wanna hurt my family and friends. i feel so selfish. i feel like my life still has a fix, i could maybe have a normal life, but i've messed up some stuff and it's gonna take sooo much work from me. Maybe i'm just lazy. I feel like i could put some effort and get my life together, but everything has gone so wrong lately.


i feel so unmotivated and tired. I am exhausted of trying and not getting anything in return. I know that i have my try my best for life, but i wish i could have a break. i wish things could start working out for me. So many times i had hope and decided to stick longer but i always end up hurt and hope does nothing for me. I just life to motivate me somehow, i'm so tired of failure and making myself believe in a better future

there's also the fact that the next months of my life would be hell. just working to pay bills and in a job i dislike. and then maybe id have chance of getting a job in my field, which is really hard to find. even tho its also my own fault for this all. i feel like i have no forces left in me for that

 

[thebiggestduck17]

ive also been feeling unmotivated for anything, at most I might do some pushups and pull ups then go back to rotting on my bed. everything I do just feels so unrewarding

 

[almaPerdida]

ive also been feeling unmotivated for anything, at most I might do some pushups and pull ups then go back to rotting on my bed. everything I do just feels so unrewarding

same, everything feels unrewarding af lately and takes all my motivation away.
and i'm not asking for an easy life, i just wish things weren't so hard

 

[thebiggestduck17]

same, everything feels unrewarding af lately and takes all my motivation away.
and i'm not asking for an easy life, i just wish things weren't so hard

Life is so easy for some people I know irl. I personally wish I had an easy life, but I understand you

 

[spark]

you're not going unheard. I can relate, I don't want to hurt the ones close to me and I am longing for things to get better. Although my situation is quite frankly fucked. but I don't want to make this about myself again...
We're all going through a lot of shit, and life is very unfair. For a long time, I've just been fueled by spite and anger and the compulsion to stick together very closely with the people around me,
and I still believe it's the best we can do; building communities, taking care of each other through mutual aid and support and just doing our best to make it through this madness...

Fixing something equals to putting enough duct tape on it that it's good enough for the next battle,
repairing takes longer and it's not always very easy.

It's never going to be easy, it's going to hurt sometimes and there will be losses but it can very well be worthwhile. You're definitely not alone in this shit.
Suicide is a valid option of course, but it's neither a fix nor a step in repair.

I wish you all the best.

 

[SchizoGymnast]

i don't wanna hurt my family and friends. i feel so selfish. i feel like my life still has a fix, i could maybe have a normal life, but i've messed up some stuff and it's gonna take sooo much work from me. Maybe i'm just lazy. I feel like i could put some effort and get my life together, but everything has gone so wrong lately.


i feel so unmotivated and tired. I am exhausted of trying and not getting anything in return. I know that i have my try my best for life, but i wish i could have a break. i wish things could start working out for me. So many times i had hope and decided to stick longer but i always end up hurt and hope does nothing for me. I just life to motivate me somehow, i'm so tired of failure and making myself believe in a better future

there's also the fact that the next months of my life would be hell. just working to pay bills and in a job i dislike. and then maybe id have chance of getting a job in my field, which is really hard to find. even tho its also my own fault for this all. i feel like i have no forces left in me for that

I can guarantee one thing...you say you want your life to get better. And if you ctb...guess what, it won't get better.

Sometimes our current state is unbearable but you need to consider the long game. Before you know it, whatever you struggled with will be in your distant past. You know what they say about pressure and diamonds.