Dear friend, CTB is always an option. And that, at least for me, means I can postpone it indefinitely. I remember a previous post of yours. You are a bright young person and I believe that no matter how hard things are now, there's always a chance they will improve. There's a future self of you that perhaps needs you to try and hold on now, so that they can actually exist and be the person you hope to be and live the life you deserve. But it is always a decision that is yours.
If you feel like there's no hope or meaning left, stuck in one place and suffering, you can discuss these feelings with your parents or with the one parent that usually shows more understanding and compassion. As more experienced people, they may present a new perspective and help you figure out some next steps you could focus on. Maybe just sharing your emotional burden with them can bring some relief - if you usually keep it all to yourself. It won't make you look weak.
I remember you live in Syria and I guess it would be extremely hard to get in touch with a therapist. If it is possible and you haven't done so yet, maybe it could be a sensible option. I've read some posts and comments here that have spoken favourable of experience with therapists. Seeking a professional online could also be an option - I wonder if there is free psychological support online, somehow.
Please, keep us posted about you and your situation.
Kind regards
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