Venting Idk

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Hi, i was happy for like 2 months again for all of it come crashing down out of no where, I met this girl called Jessy/Julie, I know her irl and so on, she made me happy for 2 months til things went out of control for no reason whatsoever, she got rid of the thoughts me wanting to take my life, I don't know how or why but she just did, however, she's been wanting time away from me because of some things I did and I'm scared if she leaves me that I might lose it and kill myself, which I don't want because I could be spending time together with her, I don't know how to explain this in any other way but I don't want any mental help either because they'll take everything away from me, I really thought the bad times I had were over when I met her and now I'm here again, on this site called sanctioned suicide, which I was hoping to never be venting on again, I just really can't anymore idk idk idk idk im sorry

 

[pleaseiwanttogo]

Hey OP! I think is great that you felt better and enjoyed great moments with her, but remember that if you could feel good with someone you can also find ways to feel it by yourself. And about her wanting some time away, let her, sometimes we do need some distance and it doesn't mean an end to the relationship. Although, if it comes to an end, I'm sure you're strong enough to deal with that, not only because you want more time with her, but maybe because you just want more time to do other things and feel good.
And we often have bad days, yes, I don't think we can get rid of them, but you'll be able to come out of it!
Also, I believe you can (anymore, now, etc)

 

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Hey OP! I think is great that you felt better and enjoyed great moments with her, but remember that if you could feel good with someone you can also find ways to feel it by yourself. And about her wanting some time away, let her, sometimes we do need some distance and it doesn't mean an end to the relationship. Although, if it comes to an end, I'm sure you're strong enough to deal with that, not only because you want more time with her, but maybe because you just want more time to do other things and feel good.
And we often have bad days, yes, I don't think we can get rid of them, but you'll be able to come out of it!
Also, I believe you can (anymore, now, etc)

you justz mmade me feel alot better about my slef i love you

 

[///]

Hey OP! I think is great that you felt better and enjoyed great moments with her, but remember that if you could feel good with someone you can also find ways to feel it by yourself. And about her wanting some time away, let her, sometimes we do need some distance and it doesn't mean an end to the relationship. Although, if it comes to an end, I'm sure you're strong enough to deal with that, not only because you want more time with her, but maybe because you just want more time to do other things and feel good.
And we often have bad days, yes, I don't think we can get rid of them, but you'll be able to come out of it!
Also, I believe you can (anymore, now, etc)

it all starts with me being jealous, very very jealous, at the same time i suffer under anti social personality disorder, i dont know how to stop it, whenever i feel like shes gonna leave me for another man I try to express my feelings to her but I fail, so thats why for the last month ive never talked to her about ANY of my problems, I just keep the problems to myself, she can tell that im not ok but when she asks me how i feel I'd just tell her "I don't know, I'm ok" and eat the problems for myself instead of talking about it to her, which makes her think i dont trust her most of the time but i really cant fucking help it i just want this all to be over

 

[pleaseiwanttogo]

you justz mmade me feel alot better about my slef i love you

Hahahah I'm happy for that!

it all starts with me being jealous, very very jealous, at the same time i suffer under anti social personality disorder, i dont know how to stop it, whenever i feel like shes gonna leave me for another man I try to express my feelings to her but I fail, so thats why for the last month ive never talked to her about ANY of my problems, I just keep the problems to myself, she can tell that im not ok but when she asks me how i feel I'd just tell her "I don't know, I'm ok" and eat the problems for myself instead of talking about it to her, which makes her think i dont trust her most of the time but i really cant fucking help it i just want this all to be over

Jealousy can be a big problem, would be good to work on that, possibly on therapy. About expressing feelings: remember the importance of it for your relationship and exercise that, it's an ability you can work on. There are worksheets available online and books on the topic, things you could search about and use to help you change that and improve this aspect of the relationship. Regardless, wish you two the best.