Help If i commit suicide i will drag only person i love with myself...

[Quasar]

Hello there
There is this person, she is the only one that knows I want to kill myself. And she single handledly talked me out from suicide countless times. At one point she said that if I killed myself she would end up doing the same or end up completely destroyed... She was suicidal before and isn't really mentally stable. So I couldn't risk it. I am ready to live in pain and suffer just for her. I want to be by her side more than I want to end it all. But I cannot do this to her. I cannot torture her like this. I am causing her too much stress. She doesn't deserve somebody who will ruin her day beacuse he is only happy with her and has nobody else who will listen to his problems. She is barely coping with her problems and there I am putting my problems on her shoulders. This cannot work forever. I could even cause her to become suicidal again even without killing myself. I might even have already done that... I am thinking about commiting suicide and making it look like an accident. But I want to have a nice last moment with her and that would be suspicious. And she is smart and knows I am smart so she might not even believe it was an accident... I don't know what to do...

 

[Zanexx]

Hello there
There is this person, she is the only one that knows I want to kill myself. And she single handledly talked me out from suicide countless times. At one point she said that if I killed myself she would end up doing the same or end up completely destroyed... She was suicidal before and isn't really mentally stable. So I couldn't risk it. I am ready to live in pain and suffer just for her. I want to be by her side more than I want to end it all. But I cannot do this to her. I cannot torture her like this. I am causing her too much stress. She doesn't deserve somebody who will ruin her day beacuse he is only happy with her and has nobody else who will listen to his problems. She is barely coping with her problems and there I am putting my problems on her shoulders. This cannot work forever. I could even cause her to become suicidal again even without killing myself. I might even have already done that... I am thinking about commiting suicide and making it look like an accident. But I want to have a nice last moment with her and that would be suspicious. And she is smart and knows I am smart so she might not even believe it was an accident... I don't know what to do...

My old best friend (who was chronically suicidal anyway) told me that if I killed myself she would do the same pretty much immediately. It happens. I told her I would understand if she did. Sometimes a person can't live - and sometimes another person can't live without them, especially if they were already tethering on the edge. That isn't your fault.

That said, I very much doubt you are making your friend more unhappy by being alive. She is her own person and has decided that she prefers to have you in her life. If you want to kill yourself, kill yourself, but don't make the decision based on her.

Also, given she clearly cares very much for you, I doubt thinking your death was an accident would make it that much easier.

 

[BxK]

You sound pretty distressed at the moment, friend.
I won't say cliche bullshit like 'I understand.' But I do feel for you.
You can ignore what I have to say, I'm stupid and will take no offence if you think my advice as useless.

Listen, you say you really care for this girl, right? You said you don't mind living as long as it's for her?
Depression and anxiety always blind us, you say things like you're forcing your problems on her. But in reality, she cares about you as well, no? Even when burdened by her own problems, she still wants to be by your side, same as you wish to do for her.
I wouldn't doubt that the same thoughts you have, are thoughts she has, maybe she thinks she's putting too much on your shoulders as well.
I don't have bonds, but from the sound of it...what you two have is a strong one. You both don't want the other to suffer.

I'm not going to tell you to take your own life or choose to live, afterall, I don't know the type of pain you both are going through, it would be rude if me to tell you what to do.
Just please, think on it some more, she cares about you, maybe if you ever feel comfortable, try talking to her about your feelings. Or take her out on a nice relaxing day to one of her favorite places, try to notice the good you bring her, just like the good she brings you.

Sorry for the long post, whatever you do decide on...I pray happiness does find you, friend.
I wish I could help more. Have a good night/day. Sorry if I said a bunch of useless or stupid stuff.

 

[LoverofDeath]

I'm in a similar situation as you. My best friend, (my sister actually) said if I commit suicide, she would do it too. I know she would because she can't live without me mentally. I'm not even sure if she means it because she has phases on wanting to die so I don't even know if she will do it. However it won't stop me because I can't stay for her...

I don't know what to say about your situation. Making it look like an accident will still hurt her. Do what you think is right. I wish you peace.

 

[Tiburcio]

Enduring pain is not good for anybody

 

[RainAndSadness]

I'm in a similiar situation. My girlfriend is also suicidal and depressed and I might drag her with me if I commit suicide. There is no solution to this dilemma right now. I'm not sure what to do because my schedule is September. It sucks because I need to leave. Everything is just painful for me, despite having a girlfriend. I love her but I simply don't see a future for myself. If I knew I'm at this point 5 months ago, I wouldn't have entered that relationship. But I have and it haunts me now.

 

[guildford91rs]

I'm in a similiar situation. My girlfriend is also suicidal and depressed and I might drag her with me if I commit suicide. There is no solution to this dilemma right now. I'm not sure what to do because my schedule is September. It sucks because I need to leave. Everything is just painful for me, despite having a girlfriend. I love her but I simply don't see a future for myself. If I knew I'm at this point 5 months ago, I wouldn't have entered that relationship. But I have and it haunts me now.

My boyfriend had depression and was suicidal. He's only just about recovered from it, and I don't want my suicide to trigger him again. I've been with him for 5 years, and he's one of two things keeping me from going now. I'm definitely going to be ending things within a year though, I just can't take going on for more than that. I'm just hoping that's enough time for me to help him improve his life so he'll be able to cope when I'm gone :/

 

[RainAndSadness]

Sounds like you have experienced an interpersonal relationship. Welcome to earth.

You're a dick.