Discussion If there are still things you want in life, what is preventing you from getting them?

[Forever Sleep]

Maybe this question is better suited to the recovery section... However- it's more that I'm curious really. For those of us who lean more towards suicide as the most likely or even, prefered option- why?

Is it because you simply don't have any life hopes now? I sort of feel more like this. Even my original dreams for life don't look so appealing now!

Or, is it because you do want things but they feel unobtainable? If so- why? What is it tripping you up or, holding you back? Are you sure these things are insurmountable?

I'm not making the thread in terms of some airy fairy platitude- all things are possible crap. More as a query about our own psychological processes and decision making I suppose.

As for my own- as they used to stand (when I still had hopes and dreams) anyhow- they would go something like this:

What would make my life better? Career progression, possibly socialising more, unrealistically, a partner (perhaps.)

What's holding me back? Social anxiety mainly. Especially relating to a crushing lack of confidence with my work when around others. Regarding a partner, I'm not really willing to make myself more attractive or risk rejection from guys.

What can I do to solve those issues and, am I willing to try? I've given career progression a fair shot in the past. I worked alongside others in the hopes my social anxiety would fade and my confidence would grow- it didn't! I've gone through the whole trying to attract someone. I'm happy to let both go now really because, the relief of not having to do those things is so much nicer than putting myself through them!

I suppose ultimately, it's because doing uncomfortable things for 'the greater good' can sometimes work out and, they're really the only path I see towards recovery. But, they're simply too horrible and the reward likely too insignificant for me to want to put myself through that now.

What are your thought processes? If possible solutions do spring to mind, what puts you off or prevents you acting on them?

 

[NonEssential]

Can't fix financial problems, because I can't find any work.
Can't fix loneliness problems, because my social anxiety doesn't allow me to find friends. I'm also a nothing person, without anything to offer so I can't be in a relationship.
Maybe these all could be fixed with hard work, but death just seems more clearer and simpler.

 

[DivineSpark]

I see no future for myself.....I just want to end my suffering and struggle. I am tired...I wish I wouldnt exists.

 

[Namelesa]

I would want suicide more for myself but for others I guess I would want to continue to live for a bit to provide what I uniquely can to this world and so would want some things to be able to cope better. I want to finish the games I want to develop and I know I will finish them eventually as I have enough skill to make it on my own, its just mental issues and negative emotions get in the way. I would want to have a close connection to someone and while I can get that, it often ends cus of me being an emotional burden and them leaving me makes me feel more worthless and scared of abandonment. I just don't want to risk getting left anymore.

 

[davidtorez]

My age and 0 will to do anything

 

[blacksand]

I want to be young, 21-24 again. I want the life I had during those years and nothing will bring it back.

 

[Darkover]

they can't fix brain injuries most damaged brain cells cannot be repaired or regenerated, meaning a complete "fix" of a brain injury is generally not possible, i wanted to be a indie game developer but haven't been able to program ever since getting injury nearly 9 years ago

 

[Misanthrope0000]

Money, I literally live in a third world shithole, I have a lot of hopes and dreams but impossible to reach.

 

[enduringwinter]

I want to be a different person at birth. I feel like I can enjoy this world if I wasn't me. I need more privileges, a simpler life.

 

[davidtorez]

I want to be young, 21-24 again. I want the life I had during those years and nothing will bring it back.

Same here! But I didn't mind my life until about age 30

 

[Johnzaga23]

what do i even want in life?

 

[Timelapse]

Love

emotionally immature

my BPD is 10/10 and scares people away

im co-dependant in relationships

fear of abandonnement

lack of self confidence

self-awareness is through the roof

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

i will never want anything out of this evil life and prison world. I will never want any kind of existence / life / consciousness.

imo the pleasurable addictions are the worst . pleasurable addictions like youtube , social media, news , TV , any media, etc which are meaningless time wasters i can't control and don't have anything to do with me and solving my problems. those are the ones keeping me distracted wasting my time when i could have had my suicide plan ready to go by no , defeated si location scouted all problems obstacles kinks worked out.

nothing is worth even 1 minute of the worst constant pain. the pleasurable addictions keep me under threat of extreme torture and lead to the worst pain.

yes there is pain so bad 1 minute of it makes everything else meaningless. everything else dissapears, then you realize those pleasure addictions didn't matter when you are in the throes of the worst hell.

evolution programmed the brain to be a extreme torture chamber. the animals that could feel the worst pain passed on their genes more effectively because they worked hard to avoid injury to their bodies and avoid the hunger pain . the pain of injury , hunger , bad cold wind , had to be very bad to force the human or animal to do everything to avoid that pain otherwise the animal would die and not pass on their genes. the only goal of genes , DNA , life and evolution is to pass on the genes the DNA

Even the pleasurable addictions programmed by evolution like wanting to eat food are evil : "I want to live to eat delicious food makes life so worth it" : wrong because i'm eating stupid food like a pig doing what evolution wants me to do to pass on my genes is not worth even 1 minute of the worst pain possible . evolution programmed the pleasure of eating food so that you survive to pass on your genes. so evolution is tricking you for no reason because passing on genes is just an accident of chaos chemical reactions and could never have any purpose. especially since the universe is entropic and all systems will die even the universe itself .

evolution scammed us tricked us . there is no meaning to life there is no purpose . nothing is important or needed. evolution only programmed these plesasures and pain to get us to reproduce.

but to me even if there were no suffering i would never want any kind of life / existence / consciousness.

 

[Skylar6]

Maybe this question is better suited to the recovery section... However- it's more that I'm curious really. For those of us who lean more towards suicide as the most likely or even, prefered option- why?

Is it because you simply don't have any life hopes now? I sort of feel more like this. Even my original dreams for life don't look so appealing now!

Or, is it because you do want things but they feel unobtainable? If so- why? What is it tripping you up or, holding you back? Are you sure these things are insurmountable?

I'm not making the thread in terms of some airy fairy platitude- all things are possible crap. More as a query about our own psychological processes and decision making I suppose.

As for my own- as they used to stand (when I still had hopes and dreams) anyhow- they would go something like this:

What would make my life better? Career progression, possibly socialising more, unrealistically, a partner (perhaps.)

What's holding me back? Social anxiety mainly. Especially relating to a crushing lack of confidence with my work when around others. Regarding a partner, I'm not really willing to make myself more attractive or risk rejection from guys.

What can I do to solve those issues and, am I willing to try? I've given career progression a fair shot in the past. I worked alongside others in the hopes my social anxiety would fade and my confidence would grow- it didn't! I've gone through the whole trying to attract someone. I'm happy to let both go now really because, the relief of not having to do those things is so much nicer than putting myself through them!

I suppose ultimately, it's because doing uncomfortable things for 'the greater good' can sometimes work out and, they're really the only path I see towards recovery. But, they're simply too horrible and the reward likely too insignificant for me to want to put myself through that now.

What are your thought processes? If possible solutions do spring to mind, what puts you off or prevents you acting on them?

Like a lot of other people its all about money. There's no where to run off to and be left alone. In another age I could have walked out of Africa, foraged and hunted, survived, but this earning money business confuses the hell out of me. Yes I have had several business with mixed success, but now down on my financial luck with no one standing behind me. I shall voyage into the last great adventure. And if there is nothing, I will not know, but if there is something...well wouldn't that be interesting.

 

[FoxSauce]

Fr I dunno what I want

I want so many things but their so hard to reach

I just wanna live peacefully If I decide to live and have a peaceful life.

But of i don't I decided thatll cbt between 2 years at most.

I rather go by my own hand

 

[RoyalBengalAutistic]

Myself

 

[Marbas]

My anxiety and agoraphobia have made it near impossible for me to leave the house without having a bad panic attack.

 

[BRAINWORMS]

I'm just so tired.

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

I want to be young, 21-24 again. I want the life I had during those years and nothing will bring it back.

Ever since I turned 25 I feel like life is on a huge downwards spiral for me too, past the point of any magic or possibly that comes with youth. There's so much lost time I'll never get back. I want to have a healthy body, and family that hasn't all passed on or hates my guts, I want to have anything worthwhile in my life that isn't just busting my ass for the bare minimum salary and barely surviving, always in physical pain.

Once you get older, if you've decided to forsake the "traditional" life path either by choice or circumstances preventing you from achieving it, things get immensely more difficult and lonesome. It is extremely depressing seeing most women my age in loving relationships, having kids, advancing their careers, having fun with their family, being fit, etc etc while I am sickly, disabled, alone for the most part and carrying the weight of years worth of traumatic shit.

There are many things I want, that would perhaps make life worth living in some capacity, but at the stage I've reached, I don't think anything could ever make me content because I've ensured way too much to ever be a functional human anymore.

 

[-nobodyknows-]

It's complicated. There are a number of things that I want - especially interpersonal stuff - but I think I am just too screwed up at this point

 

[needthebus]

lack of money, leading to work that takes up time, plus depression and exhaustion during other hours

unhappiness makes it hard to keep going, especially when work is being done in the midst of extreme sorrow, making it more agonizing

my work sucks up all my willpower, all my effort to endure misery, and when i am done i have no strength for other things

:-(

 

[Buh-bye!]

Or, is it because you do want things but they feel unobtainable? If so- why? What is it tripping you up or, holding you back? Are you sure these things are insurmountable?

Self sabotaging behaviors and addictions.
Thanks for making this post though, you've put so much effort in writing these since it let me think about my current life conditions for a while.

 

[longtheriverrun]

For those of us who lean more towards suicide as the most likely or even, preferred option- why?

Is it because you simply don't have any life hopes now? I sort of feel more like this. Even my original dreams for life don't look so appealing now!

Or, is it because you do want things but they feel unobtainable? If so- why? What is it tripping you up or, holding you back? Are you sure these things are insurmountable?

Heartbreak, isolation, and extreme mental illness. I'm not entirely resigned from life, but I am only looking so far into the future. Where I am now, I can't see clearly past the next 4-5 years—and I've taken it as a sign that maybe I'm not meant for this specific life. I still have hopes, but they are either incredibly delusional, or really shallow. I thought being able to work in a career field I've always been interested in would make me feel better, but it didn't. I always want more and more out of something or someone; for the sake of others I've stopped myself from getting too close to anyone ever again. The only thing that I want is truly unobtainable. Unrequited love feels awful when it's the only thing that truly matters to me. I know it's a hopeless wish because how horrible the relationship was, and how terribly I treated them afterward—but I wish they still loved me as I still love them. It's made me realize that I'm never satisfied with anything, and because of that, I don't have a real reason to live for more than another 10-15 years at the most

 

[sadalways]

I want romantic type love. What prevents me from getting it is anxiety, lack of self confidence and depression to the point i don't want to do anything and i've lost all my hobbies, no will to get a job etc. which makes me boring and nobody would be with someone like me. That's all i really want, when i think about it, and i wish i didn't want it cause maybe then i wouldn't be so depressed. Sure, having a job to get money would be nice too but i don't see the point anymore, i know if i tried, anxiety would kill me before i can do it myself.

 

[PrisonPlanet]

A better job and maybe a long term partner. All I want is my own place away from roommates but I've never been able to make enough money. Next year I'll be getting my degree but even at $50,000 a year, I won't be able to save enough for retirement unless I work until I'm like 75.

 

[glitterycheese]

I wish I could land something that isn't a minimum wage job, I wish I could have a deep close relationship with someone (and for the love of all things holy, have it last.), I really want to move out of this place, and cut my family out of my life. Even if it means I might not see them ever, all of these things are borderline impossible when the job and renting market is borderline garbage right now. And it's only going to get worse, companies don't want to hire me because I don't come off as a good image for their position (have actually been told that by an employer.), and I really don't trust a lot of people to open my self up again.

 

[WheelSucker459]

Life still the same

Everything the same

Nothing ever gets better

 

[heavysoul]

I want to graduate college and have a fulfilling career in life, have a partner, have a group of friends…

But 1) I just have really low self-esteem. For example, I have a job on campus that involves planning and marketing with a small team and I contribute basically nothing. Whenever we have meetings I just sit there silently with no new tasks that I've completed or any revelations about how to plan things better, while my teammates bounce ideas left and right. I feel like I'm just there as an extra body to designate tasks to, and even then, I usually need a lot of help with my task or don't follow through with it. I just feel like I struggle intellectually more than everyone else, like it takes me longer to understand and complete things. I don't know, it's sort of hard to describe but I feel this way in all sorts of areas, like in social settings and academics as well. Like I'm just behind everyone else.

2) the political climate in the US. It makes me so fucking hopeless and feel like there's no future for me here

 

[amomentspeace]

Biology, the Swiss government and university are preventing me to achieve the things I want

 

[CTB Dream]

no psbl time trvle