Help If you disclosed, what happened after?

[avalokitesvara]

I'm formulating my plan in case I need it. If you read my posts you can see I'm concerned about leaving my family and the grief it will cause them. My idea is that if I disclose my intention and plan to a professional, and follow anything that they suggest at least for a while, then I can tell my family: "look, I want to take my life, I have thought about it carefully and know it's my choice. I have even done what you're supposed to do and 'sought help', and it hasn't done anything to change my decision, so I hope you can see that this really is a careful decision, not something I took lightly or did in a momentary crisis, there's nothing that could have been done to stop this, so please don't feel any guilt."

However I am afraid of what would happen if I like went to my GP and said "I'm suicidal, I have a plan, what do you have to offer me?" What if I got sectioned (involuntary psych admission)? I have paranoid visions of being indefinitely sectioned and trapped in medical/legal abuse. That would be a disaster.

I'm not in treatment at this time, don't have a counsellor/therapist or MH specialist doctor. My GP is kind and sympathetic to MH things and prescribed me an SSRI when I sought treatment in the past.

Does anyone have any experience like this? Did you disclose and nothing happened, or something bad happened (if it's not too traumatic/triggering to talk about)? If I'm serious about ctb do you think this is a dumb thing to do?

 

[Alexei_Kirillov]

It depends on your particular jurisdiction, but if they have any kind of "danger to oneself or others" law on the books, I would not recommend it.

I was too honest about having a plan (though I didn't give any specifics) with my psychiatrist, and following a miscommunication with him after I tried cancelling my next appointment, he called the police on me. They showed up at my apartment and said I either go to the hospital willingly or I go in handcuffs. I obviously chose the former. Once at the hospital, they let me see my psychiatrist. I managed to wriggle my way out of suspicion, and they let me go.

The whole ordeal only lasted about 3-4 hours but it completely broke my trust in the mental health system. I was made to feel like a criminal, a prisoner of the state, for simply wanting control over my own life. (I wrote a strongly-worded letter to my provincial representative after that experience lol.) Others on the forum have described similar experiences (see here).

 

[isolatedl111]

I was in a psychiatric hospital for cutting myself

 

[avalokitesvara]

It depends on your particular jurisdiction, but if they have any kind of "danger to oneself or others" law on the books, I would not recommend it.

I was too honest about having a plan (though I didn't give any specifics) with my psychiatrist, and following a miscommunication with him after I tried cancelling my next appointment, he called the police on me. They showed up at my apartment and said I either go to the hospital willingly or I go in handcuffs. I obviously chose the former. Once at the hospital, they let me see my psychiatrist. I managed to wriggle my way out of suspicion, and they let me go.

The whole ordeal only lasted about 3-4 hours but it completely broke my trust in the mental health system. I was made to feel like a criminal, a prisoner of the state, for simply wanting control over my own life. (I wrote a strongly-worded letter to my provincial representative after that experience lol.) Others on the forum have described similar experiences (see here).

Thank you for this, I really appreciate your support Your link prompted me to search the site for threads specifically about sectioning and it's given me some food for thought. Really grateful to all the users who have shared their experience about being assessed and sectioned, or not, under the MH act. I am thinking that doing what I outlined in my OP would do absolutely nothing for my goal. What would probably happen is my GP would suggest the usual NHS nothing (lifestyle change suggestions, referral to wait one million years for talk therapy, possibly another SSRI prescription). If I was really insistent that I have a plan and so at risk of being a harm to myself I suppose they might get me assessed for potential sectioning. At the assessment I imagine they wouldn't really know what to do with me. What's this calm, sensible, educated, middle class, clean, financially stable normal-looking person doing? I wouldn't have had a failed attempt or done bad SH to have been to a normal hospital, or already be in community treatment and on their radar. I would just seem so well and normal as I calmly and lucidly explained my situation. I suppose they would suggest that I can voluntarily commit myself as informal patient but probably there wouldn't even be any beds even if I wanted to do that. That would be it. Maybe some further referral for some paltry community "help". I think they save sectioning for people who are obviously extremely on the brink of serious violence to themselves and/or others and aren't seen to be rational, in order to keep societal order. A simple sad quiet person like me is not on their radar.

So even if I did all that, the result would be exactly the same as if I hadn't bothered. And my family could construe a narrative of "oh no, the mental health services failed, if only we had pressured to get treatment or done something sooner or noticed signs or tried to demand the MH team to do a sectioning then this wouldn't have happened, it is our fault!!!"

Maybe I'm just barking up a stupid delusional self-soothing tree to think there's anything I could do to soften the blow and prevent my family feeling guilt. My mom especially will probably feel guilt for everything she's ever done, thinking it's all led up to this moment. It makes me skin crawl… can I please just have my own life and death without it all being about you..? Anyway. I won't be around to know about all that if it does come to this. As I continue to plan a part of that process will be really coming to terms and accepting that I will cause suffering by this act. There's nothing I can do to prevent that. I have to have my eyes open and have the guts to face that there will be consequences to my act.

 

[kitkat9234]

If I told my therapist or psychiatrist I had suicidal ideations and a plan/actively planning they would mental health arrest me and I'd be in a mental institution. I've only disclosed that I've had thoughts and lied about no plan and they couldn't do anything.

 

[vitbar]

I told mine, and many other medical staff, that I had nearly constant ideation, had researched methods, had one selected, but hadn't picked a date, and they didn't section me.

The lack of beds on UK wards means there has to be immediate intent. Being clear it was long term, not short, and wanting treatment made a big difference.

 

[areyousafe??]

It depends on your particular jurisdiction, but if they have any kind of "danger to oneself or others" law on the books, I would not recommend it.

I was too honest about having a plan (though I didn't give any specifics) with my psychiatrist, and following a miscommunication with him after I tried cancelling my next appointment, he called the police on me. They showed up at my apartment and said I either go to the hospital willingly or I go in handcuffs. I obviously chose the former. Once at the hospital, they let me see my psychiatrist. I managed to wriggle my way out of suspicion, and they let me go.

The whole ordeal only lasted about 3-4 hours but it completely broke my trust in the mental health system. I was made to feel like a criminal, a prisoner of the state, for simply wanting control over my own life. (I wrote a strongly-worded letter to my provincial representative after that experience lol.) Others on the forum have described similar experiences (see here).

How is your relationship with your psychiatrist now?

 

[Alexei_Kirillov]

How is your relationship with your psychiatrist now?

I saw him maybe an additional two times after that but tbh he was useless and the trust was no longer there, so I stopped going. The clincher for me was when I was talking about someone who had recently entered my life and who I wanted more from than they could give, and he said in the most flat voice possible, "That must've been disappointing for you." I was like....yes? I'm aware of that?

In any case, I don't consider my suicidality to be evidence of a sickness or disorder that needs treatment, so I don't really see the point in getting "professional help" for my specific situation.

 

[avalonisburning]

They showed up at my apartment and said I either go to the hospital willingly or I go in handcuffs.

Definitely a good sign that you're on the right side of history when you have to resort to kidnapping people to "help" them.

 

[HeartThatFeeds]

Based on my own experiences as well as just hearing others I will say most mental health professionals are extremely hesitant to admit people into a ward, they will usually only admit you after a near fatal attempt (I was waiting 2 weeks to be put in the ward and was only given a bed after I nearly died from an attempt) or someone has called the police on you and you the police have decided to put you under section, even so I think if you do decide to CBT, your family would most likely feel guilty even with your plan put in place, that's just how grief works, either way I'm wishing you the best

 

[areyousafe??]

I was involuntarily hospitalised.

 

[dust-in-the-wind]

After a telehealth call with my psychiatrist he called the police to my home and I was forced to go in the hospital. It was useless and didn't help one bit.

 

[CPY]

As others have said it really depends where you live.Generally when it comes to involuntary commitment I think outside from the US, Canada, UK and the whole anglosphere in general your Rights tends to be respected unless there is an imminent and real dangerto society.Where I live in once disclosed I was suicidal to my psych when really put under pressure and in crisis(not mentioning plan or anything)and nothing happened in particular.But yeah my country is kind of an exception having the strictest law when it comes to this

 

[opheliaoveragain]

i'm in the US. at one point, I merely implied the word "suicide" to the wrong doctor and was thrown in for two months.

it depends on the law where you are.

 

[katara]

i'm in the US. at one point, I merely implied the word "suicide" to the wrong doctor and was thrown in for two months.

it depends on the law where you are.

exactly this, in some parts of Canada they are apparently allowing suicide if you have certain mental conditions. I hear different things tho, some people say its hard to get and others say its easy. I think it all depends on the doctor/therapist. If they don't care about u they'll go with whatever is easiest or gets them the most money.

 

[byebyeblondie]

I live in the UK and I told my mental health nurse I wanted to die and that I had a plan. I refused to divulge my plan and didn't give a date. They did not section me, they put me under crisis team (which is now called home treatment team).