• UK users: Due to a formal investigation into this site by Ofcom under the UK Online Safety Act 2023, we strongly recommend using a trusted, no-logs VPN. This will help protect your privacy, bypass censorship, and maintain secure access to the site. Read the full VPN guide here.

  • Hey Guest,

    Today, OFCOM launched an official investigation into Sanctioned Suicide under the UK’s Online Safety Act. This has already made headlines across the UK.

    This is a clear and unprecedented overreach by a foreign regulator against a U.S.-based platform. We reject this interference and will be defending the site’s existence and mission.

    In addition to our public response, we are currently seeking legal representation to ensure the best possible defense in this matter. If you are a lawyer or know of one who may be able to assist, please contact us at [email protected].

    Read our statement here:

    Donate via cryptocurrency:

    Bitcoin (BTC): 34HyDHTvEhXfPfb716EeEkEHXzqhwtow1L
    Ethereum (ETH): 0xd799aF8E2e5cEd14cdb344e6D6A9f18011B79BE9
    Monero (XMR): 49tuJbzxwVPUhhDjzz6H222Kh8baKe6rDEsXgE617DVSDD8UKNaXvKNU8dEVRTAFH9Av8gKkn4jDzVGF25snJgNfUfKKNC8
I

ihateearth

Student
Apr 1, 2024
152
Since my bridge attempt months ago I got on an antidepressant which semi-helped but didn't take the sting out of life. Barely making ends meet while dealing with assholes and bad family sucks. They kept upping the dose and missing appointments which wasted my time until I stopped trying to see therapists.

Then I met someone and we hit it off great but later he became physically abusive. We were two peas in a pod and I had to leave for my safety. I'm mad at myself for not seeing early on that he was abusive. He was very nice at first. It's like he hid a different person from me. He had a rage he couldn't calm down and often tried to listen to my phone conversations.

I don't understand how someone can be so kind and great then turn into a raging monster who refuses to acknowledge what they do. It was scary. I had to call cops and leave in the night after secretly packing for days. Now I'm homeless and shelters are full.

I'm working on things but how can life go from bad to worse. I gave life and love a chance and it always lets me down in a spectacular fashion. I wish I CTB at 25. All my hopes and dreams meant nothing as everything has been taken or lost including my self respect and confidence in all humans.

A friend motivated me to leave fast with promises to help but has been absent now. I won't beg anyone for help as people love to have power over others in need. If you beg someone they'll turn up their nose or ignore you to make themselves feel high and mighty. I think things could work out but there's too much stacked against me including exhaustion with life.

No one has ever hit me so it's weird. Gaslighting is also a real thing. I'm glad it's over but I can't think of the last time I enjoyed being alive. Making plans and I have money to do things. That gives me hope. If I can leave everything will be good. No more struggle just silence and not existing. It's pretty great when you think about it.

Last fall I tried sleeping pills and alcohol and it didn't work. That's 2 attempts in less than a year. Something has to work. I wish someone could help me. It would probably be faster. I suck trying to CTB alone lol. I hope this time works..I don't know if it will ever get better.
 
Last edited:
  • Hugs
  • Like
  • Aww..
Reactions: Wishing2di3, NoPoint2Life, rozeske and 10 others
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
42,054
It's so cruel and dreadful to me how existing can very easily get worse causing way more suffering as a result but anyway I wish you the best, hope you find peace.
 
  • Like
Reactions: LifeQuitter, ijustwishtodie, myusername890 and 1 other person
ijustwishtodie

ijustwishtodie

I have finally found my ultimate bliss
Oct 29, 2023
5,801
I always believed that things will get worse. That's just the cruelty of life. There's always an opportunity for things to get worse. I'm sorry for all the suffering that you had to go through and I hope that you find peace soon
 
  • Love
  • Like
Reactions: LifeQuitter and ihateearth
M

mrtime87

Experienced
Jul 9, 2024
208
I'm sadly starting to live thru this reality as well. Just when the bottom falls out, life gets even worse.

Hang on and hopefully you find someyhing to keep you going.

Best of luck
 
  • Love
Reactions: ihateearth
F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
11,304
Sometimes I wonder if everyone should be made aware of things like love bombing and gas lighting. It actually really helped me to learn about narcissistic abuse. Not in terms of a romantic relationship but, someone I grew up with. All their (crazy) behaviours were there. Two YouTube channels that helped me greatly are: 'Live Abuse Free' and 'The Crappy Childhood Fairy'. I'm glad you got away from him but I'm so sorry you experienced that and it's landed you in such a difficult situation now.

I don't doubt that there's always potential for things tp get worse. I suppose that in part is why I want to CTB- before they do.
 
  • Love
Reactions: ihateearth
I

ihateearth

Student
Apr 1, 2024
152
Sometimes I wonder if everyone should be made aware of things like love bombing and gas lighting. It actually really helped me to learn about narcissistic abuse. Not in terms of a romantic relationship but, someone I grew up with. All their (crazy) behaviours were there. Two YouTube channels that helped me greatly are: 'Live Abuse Free' and 'The Crappy Childhood Fairy'. I'm glad you got away from him but I'm so sorry you experienced that and it's landed you in such a difficult situation now.

I don't doubt that there's always potential for things tp get worse. I suppose that in part is why I want to CTB- before they do.
Thank you. I'll check out those channels. I was just searching YouTube today for good channels about domestic abuse and abusive personalities and couldn't find any. YouTube is full of junk now and they've removed the search function or made it impossible to use.

I've found some help and am on the mend and bettering my situation but still planning to stockpile ways to CTB. I'm tired of trying to get through life no matter what it throws my way. Best of luck to you too.

On a funny note the friend who promised to help, but got upset when I didn't give him sex has gone absent. I'm glad he didn't get what he wanted and got salty. He acknowledged he was selfish and now he has to find another woman to bother and put up with him. I don't have to and that makes me happy. People can really try to use you when you're down, but he failed.
 
Last edited:
  • Love
Reactions: Forever Sleep

Similar threads

Haematemesis
Replies
0
Views
139
Suicide Discussion
Haematemesis
Haematemesis
G
Replies
4
Views
217
Suicide Discussion
FuneralCry
FuneralCry
iloveyouihateyou
Replies
18
Views
568
Suicide Discussion
Subhumano
Subhumano
montanatype
Replies
6
Views
381
Suicide Discussion
montanatype
montanatype