• Hey Guest,

    An update on the OFCOM situation: As you know, censorship around the world has been ramping up at an alarming pace. OFCOM, the UK’s communications regulator, has singled out our community, demanding compliance with their Online Safety Act despite our minimal UK presence. This is a blatant overreach, and they have been sending letters pressuring us to comply with their censorship agenda.

    Our platform is already blocked by many UK ISPs, yet they continue their attempts to stifle free speech. Standing up to this kind of regulatory overreach requires lots of resources to maintain our infrastructure and fight back against these unjust demands. If you value our community and want to support us during this time, we would greatly appreciate any and all donations.

    Read more about the situation here: Click to View Post

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I

ihateearth

Student
Apr 1, 2024
152
Since my bridge attempt months ago I got on an antidepressant which semi-helped but didn't take the sting out of life. Barely making ends meet while dealing with assholes and bad family sucks. They kept upping the dose and missing appointments which wasted my time until I stopped trying to see therapists.

Then I met someone and we hit it off great but later he became physically abusive. We were two peas in a pod and I had to leave for my safety. I'm mad at myself for not seeing early on that he was abusive. He was very nice at first. It's like he hid a different person from me. He had a rage he couldn't calm down and often tried to listen to my phone conversations.

I don't understand how someone can be so kind and great then turn into a raging monster who refuses to acknowledge what they do. It was scary. I had to call cops and leave in the night after secretly packing for days. Now I'm homeless and shelters are full.

I'm working on things but how can life go from bad to worse. I gave life and love a chance and it always lets me down in a spectacular fashion. I wish I CTB at 25. All my hopes and dreams meant nothing as everything has been taken or lost including my self respect and confidence in all humans.

A friend motivated me to leave fast with promises to help but has been absent now. I won't beg anyone for help as people love to have power over others in need. If you beg someone they'll turn up their nose or ignore you to make themselves feel high and mighty. I think things could work out but there's too much stacked against me including exhaustion with life.

No one has ever hit me so it's weird. Gaslighting is also a real thing. I'm glad it's over but I can't think of the last time I enjoyed being alive. Making plans and I have money to do things. That gives me hope. If I can leave everything will be good. No more struggle just silence and not existing. It's pretty great when you think about it.

Last fall I tried sleeping pills and alcohol and it didn't work. That's 2 attempts in less than a year. Something has to work. I wish someone could help me. It would probably be faster. I suck trying to CTB alone lol. I hope this time works..I don't know if it will ever get better.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
41,478
It's so cruel and dreadful to me how existing can very easily get worse causing way more suffering as a result but anyway I wish you the best, hope you find peace.
 
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ijustwishtodie

ijustwishtodie

I have finally found my ultimate bliss
Oct 29, 2023
5,803
I always believed that things will get worse. That's just the cruelty of life. There's always an opportunity for things to get worse. I'm sorry for all the suffering that you had to go through and I hope that you find peace soon
 
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mrtime87

Experienced
Jul 9, 2024
208
I'm sadly starting to live thru this reality as well. Just when the bottom falls out, life gets even worse.

Hang on and hopefully you find someyhing to keep you going.

Best of luck
 
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Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
11,122
Sometimes I wonder if everyone should be made aware of things like love bombing and gas lighting. It actually really helped me to learn about narcissistic abuse. Not in terms of a romantic relationship but, someone I grew up with. All their (crazy) behaviours were there. Two YouTube channels that helped me greatly are: 'Live Abuse Free' and 'The Crappy Childhood Fairy'. I'm glad you got away from him but I'm so sorry you experienced that and it's landed you in such a difficult situation now.

I don't doubt that there's always potential for things tp get worse. I suppose that in part is why I want to CTB- before they do.
 
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I

ihateearth

Student
Apr 1, 2024
152
Sometimes I wonder if everyone should be made aware of things like love bombing and gas lighting. It actually really helped me to learn about narcissistic abuse. Not in terms of a romantic relationship but, someone I grew up with. All their (crazy) behaviours were there. Two YouTube channels that helped me greatly are: 'Live Abuse Free' and 'The Crappy Childhood Fairy'. I'm glad you got away from him but I'm so sorry you experienced that and it's landed you in such a difficult situation now.

I don't doubt that there's always potential for things tp get worse. I suppose that in part is why I want to CTB- before they do.
Thank you. I'll check out those channels. I was just searching YouTube today for good channels about domestic abuse and abusive personalities and couldn't find any. YouTube is full of junk now and they've removed the search function or made it impossible to use.

I've found some help and am on the mend and bettering my situation but still planning to stockpile ways to CTB. I'm tired of trying to get through life no matter what it throws my way. Best of luck to you too.

On a funny note the friend who promised to help, but got upset when I didn't give him sex has gone absent. I'm glad he didn't get what he wanted and got salty. He acknowledged he was selfish and now he has to find another woman to bother and put up with him. I don't have to and that makes me happy. People can really try to use you when you're down, but he failed.
 
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