E
Ethernatuskoi
Trying to Recover / Leaving
- Oct 24, 2023
- 207
No matter how hard I try, no matter how much I plan, no matter how good the method is, I just can't do it out of sheer fear and cowardice. I already have panic attacks over the smallest things and my heart rate increases dramatically, so if I try to ctb in any way I will end up going crazy and bitterly regretting every second of the decision I made. I know I'm not ready yet, and I recognize that. The idea of ctb is drastic and, depending on what you do, it will be irreversible, so it's something you need to be 100% sure you want to do. Changing your mind takes time for many, but despite being scared and cowardly, I feel terrible most of the time and I don't know what to do to deal with it. I wish I could press a magic button and make myself disappear already