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anxiousmess0471

anxiousmess0471

Member
Feb 4, 2024
47
I'm 26 and I left medical school earlier this year because I could not handle the stress. The pressure in medical school was just something that I would have been successfully able to overcome. But now I feel like a complete failure who does not deserve anything in life. I go through phases of going on this website every day to not touching the website for weeks on end. But I always end up back here even more depressed than before. Seeing all my friends excel in their careers while I'm at home working some dead end job kills me every day. Disappointing my parents and having them stress about me settling in life kills me every day. Knowing that I'm a failure pos that deserves nothing kills me every day. Due to how I feel and all my depression, I decided that the only way to relieve myself of all this pain to ctb and escape this torturous life that I put myself in. I plan on going going to this lake near my house, drinking a lot of alcohol and go for a swim so that I end up drowning and finally be at peace. Would this be a good way to ctb, or would SI kick in, making it harder for me to finish the job and possibly end up in a mental hospital.
 
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