I’m conflicted

[rachybee]

Psa: I'm high right now.
But anyway.

I've been sectioned 6? Times over the last year.

Once, I felt actually better. But then it fell apart again.

And fast forward a year, 2 arrests later. I have 186 tablets mix of paracetamol and ibuprofen. I have a lot of edible. If I do them all and vodka will I ctb?
Oh! Ha I just forgot to mention the conflicted part!

So I could get my dad to have me assessed mh. Or. I could call my cpn and tell her about od.

Or Just die. Will what I e had eventually work?

 

[avalokitesvara]

don't do anything right now. you're not in a place to make any kind of decision. and you don't need to. just lie down somewhere comfy and get some rest. watch a nice show if you can't sleep.

you don't need to make a choice between take the drugs (won't work anyway, you'll end up in hospital) or tell your dad/cmht. you can just choose to do nothing right now and wait for this moment to pass. let yourself come down. you'll be ok

if you feel like talking i'm around.

 

[rachybee]

don't do anything right now. you're not in a place to make any kind of decision. and you don't need to. just lie down somewhere comfy and get some rest. watch a nice show if you can't sleep.

you don't need to make a choice between take the drugs (won't work anyway, you'll end up in hospital) or tell your dad/cmht. you can just choose to do nothing right now and wait for this moment to pass. let yourself come down. you'll be ok

if you feel like talking i'm around.

Thankyou. I've felt awful last few days but today gotta high and I think let's go
Apologies of if I get annoying this thread. Also trying isn't w easy. Againb sorry

 

[avalokitesvara]

don't be sorry. it's ok you're reaching out here. it's ok you're feeling bad. if you can get some distraction and rest that would be good i think. have you drank water and eaten anything recently?

 

[Forever Sleep]

As far as I'm aware, OD's are notoriously unreliable. I think it's more likely you could (possibly permanently) damage your major organs:

Non-methods that should not be attempted

mod note: this has been added to the suicide resource compilation at the top. This has been made in response to the ever increasing amount of posts made about highly unlikely methods. Please read before posting about one of these methods or feel free to link if someone does post about them...

sanctioned-suicide.net

I'm sorry you're feeling so desperate. I think- if a part of you is considering MH support though- maybe it's worth pursuing. Not to say it will definitely work but, feeling conflicted like this seems to suggest you're not convinced CTB is your best option.

 

[dontwakemeup]

Try to enjoy the high and take a nap. You need to rest this off before you make a decision you might regret.

When I use to use thc I would get extremely paranoid. One day I was convinced someone was banging on my door but I was too afraid to answer and almost called 911 lol.

Those drugs are downers and make you feel worse than you already feel. Your brain is foggy and if you were to plan an attempt it will probably be botched anyway. Please just rest, there's no rush to make a plan. You can plan another day.

I'm sorry you feel like this and having a difficult time. Try to cry it off and drift away. Sleep always gives me a mental break. Seems like you need a great nap right now.

 

[rachybee]

Thankyou everyone. I might go lie down. It also my brain coupled with we have a new train service here I live just started yeeterday so i could ctb there. I know all that will stop me is a mh act assessment and being back in hosp but I don't want it

 

[avalokitesvara]

take some time. mh assessment is always possible. the train will still be there tomorrow too. today you don't need to do anything. have a sweet rest, take care of yourself darling

 

[rachybee]

Fk. I hate my mind. I'm so sorry others are the same on here
Would 186 pills of ibuprofen and paracetamol kill me?
Also curious - the SN place said yesterday 4pm ish my time and I haven't had any welfare checks. They said they flagged it.

Can I expect as I've not heard anything yet that they're just leaving it?

 

[avalokitesvara]

Fk. I hate my mind. I'm so sorry others are the same on here
Would 186 pills of ibuprofen and paracetamol kill me?
Also curious - the SN place said yesterday 4pm ish my time and I haven't had any welfare checks. They said they flagged it.

Can I expect as I've not heard anything yet that they're just leaving it?

No darling, it wouldn't. You'd get really hurt and end up in hospital and probably sectioned after. Sorry you're feeling so desperate.

Not sure about the SN welfare check situation. I hope you don't get bothered. Hopefully the police have better things to put their resources towards heh.

 

[rachybee]

No darling, it wouldn't. You'd get really hurt and end up in hospital and probably sectioned after. Sorry you're feeling so desperate.

Not sure about the SN welfare check situation. I hope you don't get bothered. Hopefully the police have better things to put their resources towards heh.

Thankyou. I'm just feeling desperate and thought maybe these pills could work.
I also hope police have too. From how I am rn I'm not sure I can be convincing I'm ok.

But I will try. I just wanna try the od and see. I dunno.

 

[rachybee]

Luckily police didn't turn up they just called mh cpn and she called me to make sure I didn't have anything in my possession.

Must be more careful.

Still debating just od before I get my SN as I'm quite nervous now about my order

 

[avalokitesvara]

glad the police didn't get involved.

don't do an otc meds od. you know it will hurt and be useless. unless you want to go to hospital and be taken care of, but you can do that without fucking up your liver with paracetamol.

maybe tell your cmht you are considering a paracetamol od? you deserve care and help.

i feel a little worried about you having SN. it's your right, of course, but idk. you seem like you're very impulsive rn and i don't think it's good to attempt to ctb impulsively.

you sound like you're going through so much. i hope you can get some meaningful support. take care