Marz
À PEU PRÈS
- Aug 3, 2018
- 170
I want to end it soon. Life's getting too out of hand. I have decided on either hanging (full or half, whichever works) or jumping from a high building.
In the case of hanging, I could go and do it in the place I live in because there are some places I can tie the rope from (stairs railing, metal hooks, trees) the problem is that home's never alone and I also find it unethical to have these people find me (we're not related and I'm just freeloading them, I wouldn't want to bother them even more). If not I could simply go to some park that's private enough (hard to find) and find a tree that's low enough for me to reach it and tie the rope properly. I'm a 5'0 female so this will probably be hard. I'd also have to do it at night and creeps hang in parks where I live when it gets dark so I'm indecisive. Don't want to get harrased or raped when I'm just trying to die.
The second option is tricky because I only have three options: a shopping mall or my college campus. Tall buildings here are privately owned and I live in a two storey house. Also, even the shopping malls are very short in height. Most have only 5 storeys. Now with my college campus, a safest bet, I'd need to make a proper outline of the building, and figure out how to make it to the roof without being caught. The storeys are very tall in said building, about 3 meters each. So I do think jumping from there would be lethal. I would also need to look out for any walkers so I don't crush someone to death. In resume, it's just overly complicated and I'm frustrated. I want to die once for all effectively, I'm tired of failing.
//vent finished.
In the case of hanging, I could go and do it in the place I live in because there are some places I can tie the rope from (stairs railing, metal hooks, trees) the problem is that home's never alone and I also find it unethical to have these people find me (we're not related and I'm just freeloading them, I wouldn't want to bother them even more). If not I could simply go to some park that's private enough (hard to find) and find a tree that's low enough for me to reach it and tie the rope properly. I'm a 5'0 female so this will probably be hard. I'd also have to do it at night and creeps hang in parks where I live when it gets dark so I'm indecisive. Don't want to get harrased or raped when I'm just trying to die.
The second option is tricky because I only have three options: a shopping mall or my college campus. Tall buildings here are privately owned and I live in a two storey house. Also, even the shopping malls are very short in height. Most have only 5 storeys. Now with my college campus, a safest bet, I'd need to make a proper outline of the building, and figure out how to make it to the roof without being caught. The storeys are very tall in said building, about 3 meters each. So I do think jumping from there would be lethal. I would also need to look out for any walkers so I don't crush someone to death. In resume, it's just overly complicated and I'm frustrated. I want to die once for all effectively, I'm tired of failing.
//vent finished.