Venting I'm drowning in my loneliness

[perfumeonmyneck]

I can't make new friends and I can't keep the friendships I have

The only person I have as a friend is my boyfriend and that feels pathetic. He's the only person I talk to. He's the only person I spend time with. and it's not at all an exaggeration As much as I love him, it's such a constant that it's a little draining.

I watch all the girls I used to be so close to hangout with eachother on instagram. At some point I just stopped getting an invite and I stopped trying.
Meanwhile I was also depressed to begin with but they never noticed and maybe that's where they drifted away from me or I drifted away from them. I can't tell.

But I can't help it and having practically no one makes it worse. I have so many things going on in my head and no one to talk to about them. I can't tell my bf. My female friendships were my only distraction from life.

 

[MetroPunk]

You can make new friends. You can even make friends who actually understand what you're going through a little bit. Your boyfriend sounds like a blessing at the moment. I made the depressed person mistake of cutting absolutely everyone off, friends, family, the girlfriend I had. I've been basically entirely alone for the last four years and I realize what a mistake it was for me to remove my support system when I needed it the most. I, like I'm sure many people on this site, am very anxious all the time and it makes conversations difficult especially with new people. But a lady at my job decided a few days ago she wasn't going to take no for an answer and was going to get to know me. I did end up ruining things with her with my awkwardness but I did find the drive and desire to make new friends again. I'm in the same boat and I think I'm typing this as much for me as for you. If your boyfriend isn't a ball of anxiety and is a bit outgoing, maybe you could have him help you make friends together, like other couples. Or you could always do the really stressful but beneficial thing of reaching out to old friends and try to reconnect with people you knew you enjoyed being around at one point. That way you might get some space from your boyfriend, because being on top of one person all the time, I understand can be a bit much at times. I envy you though that you have a boyfriend, I really would like to connect with someone like that again. I hope we both figure this one out.