Im glad i had an abortion

[dust-in-the-wind]

I've been watching some Charlie Kirk videos on Utube Even though I didnt agree with all his beliefs, he certainly didn't deserve to die and my heart breaks for his family. I have a death bed confession to make that I never told anyone...I had an abortion in 1989 @6weeks. I would have done it even sooner as i immediately knew i was pregnant but morning after pills didn't exist then and you had to be six weeks along. I have no regrets nor am i proud. I was a 19 year old train wreck with no business bringing life into this world. I can only imagine the suffering my child would have had to endure in this world, plus the possibility of inherenting my mental illness. I feel like I did my fetus a favor and I made damn well sure I never got pregnant again. If there is a God, which I doubt, I hope he forgives me.

 

[TBONTB]

I've been watching some Charlie Kirk videos on Utube Even though I didnt agree with all his beliefs, he certainly didn't deserve to die and my heart breaks for his family. I have a death bed confession to make that I never told anyone...I had an abortion in 1989 @6weeks. I would have done it even sooner as i immediately knew i was pregnant, but you had to be six weeks along. I have no regrets. I was a 19 year old train wreck with no business bringing life into this world. I can only imagine the suffering my child would have had to endure in this world, plus the possibility of inherenting my mental illness. I feel like I did my fetus a favor and made damn well sure I never got pregnant again. If there is a God, which I doubt, I hope he forgives me.

Sorry you had to go through that. And yes, it's great to spare a child misery of being in the life of an unstable situation full of mental illness. Take care.

 

[Vivir_O_No]

Sorry you had to go through that. And yes, it's great to spare a child misery of being in the life of an unstable situation full of mental illness. Take care.

 

[claracatchingthebus]

I've been watching some Charlie Kirk videos on Utube Even though I didnt agree with all his beliefs, he certainly didn't deserve to die and my heart breaks for his family. I have a death bed confession to make that I never told anyone...I had an abortion in 1989 @6weeks. I would have done it even sooner as i immediately knew i was pregnant but morning after pills didn't exist then and you had to be six weeks along. I have no regrets nor am i proud. I was a 19 year old train wreck with no business bringing life into this world. I can only imagine the suffering my child would have had to endure in this world, plus the possibility of inherenting my mental illness. I feel like I did my fetus a favor and I made damn well sure I never got pregnant again. If there is a God, which I doubt, I hope he forgives me.

as a depressed person who has been almost entirely unhappy and wishes they hadn't existed, i think it's likely you made the kind choice.

i hope you are doing okay. when you say "death bed confession," I'm not sure if that means you are close to ending things. I hope you are alright. I've always admired you. You seem like a nice rational person who just struggles with severe depression and I've always admired your ability to talk honestly about your experiences and how much you've fought against depression.

 

[Dejected 55]

@dust-in-the-wind this is why I am pro-choice even though I am generally against abortion. As a man I can't have children or abortions, obviously. As a man never being in a relationship I've never been in the position of being able to father a child. I can't 100% say how I would be in a situation with a woman I impregnated and she wanted an abortion VS needing one for medical reasons.

With that context... I know there are a lot of women who had them and regret it. There are also ones like yourself who had one and do not regret it. I am saddened that in the USA we have been creeping backwards with regard to the right-to-choose in recent years. It's a tough choice for a woman to have to make, but I've always felt like she should be able to make that choice. In a perfect world, not only would she be able to make that choice but also not be pressured by others to feel one way or another afterwards.

Anyway, I appreciate you sharing your story, especially when you did not have to at all. If you felt the need to share as part of lightening the load, I hope that worked. It does read like you are trying to let go of some things before an end that maybe seems closer to you than previously. If that is the case, I wish you well during the process of preparing for the end.

 

[dust-in-the-wind]

as a depressed person who has been almost entirely unhappy and wishes they hadn't existed, i think it's likely you made the kind choice.

i hope you are doing okay. when you say "death bed confession," I'm not sure if that means you are close to ending things. I hope you are alright. I've always admired you. You seem like a nice rational person who just struggles with severe depression and I've always admired your ability to talk honestly about your experiences and how much you've fought against depression.

Thank you for your kind words. I am very close to leaving. My suffering is extreme. I can no longer function as a human and I lay in bed crying all day. It's been this bad for 2 years now. I am a shell of who I once was. I am trying one last ditch effort. It is an maoi inhibitor medication called Parnate invented in the 1950's. It's all rhey had back then for depression but it helped people. Drawback is more side effects and certain foods you can't eat. It's rarely prescribed anymore since the invention of newer and safer anti depressants. But my Dr is older and used it in the past and thought it was worth I try.

 

[claracatchingthebus]

Thank you for your kind words. I am very close to leaving. My suffering is extreme. I can no longer function as a human and I lay in bed crying all day. It's been this bad for 2 years now. I am a shell of who I once was. I am trying one last ditch effort. It is an maoi inhibitor medication called Parnate invented in the 1950's. It's all rhey had back then for depression but it helped people. Drawback is more side effects and certain foods you can't eat. It's rarely prescribed anymore since the invention of newer and safer anti depressants. But my Dr is older and used it in the past and thought it was worth I try.

at the risk of sounding like an infomercial, also have you tried genesight (The GeneSight
Psychotropic test)? you're so dilligent and sensible regarding trying things. it could possibly show some interesting information. I also hope the MAOI works. That's one of the few classes of medications I haven't tried... or maybe I have? I know I thought about trying a selegiline patch, but I don't think I actually tried it.

 

[dust-in-the-wind]

@dust-in-the-wind this is why I am pro-choice even though I am generally against abortion. As a man I can't have children or abortions, obviously. As a man never being in a relationship I've never been in the position of being able to father a child. I can't 100% say how I would be in a situation with a woman I impregnated and she wanted an abortion VS needing one for medical reasons.

With that context... I know there are a lot of women who had them and regret it. There are also ones like yourself who had one and do not regret it. I am saddened that in the USA we have been creeping backwards with regard to the right-to-choose in recent years. It's a tough choice for a woman to have to make, but I've always felt like she should be able to make that choice. In a perfect world, not only would she be able to make that choice but also not be pressured by others to feel one way or another afterwards.

Anyway, I appreciate you sharing your story, especially when you did not have to at all. If you felt the need to share as part of lightening the load, I hope that worked. It does read like you are trying to let go of some things before an end that maybe seems closer to you than previously. If that is the case, I wish you well during the process of preparing for the end.

I am pro choice to a point myself. In my case I was so early into the pregnancy I didn't really think of being a baby yet. I do think women overuse abortion as a form of birth control and that has to stop. I've been mentally doing a life review of the decades of my life so I can be at peace at the end.

at the risk of sounding like an infomercial, also have you tried genesight (The GeneSight
Psychotropic test)? you're so dilligent and sensible regarding trying things. it could possibly show some interesting information.

Yes I've done it twice. Once last year and once in 2017. Problem with the test is it just shows you which drugs you will metabolize better but that doesn't mean they will work. I think I've tried every single drug on the test, not kidding.

 

[ididnotconsent]

Thanks for sharing a piece of your life with us. It looks like you've been depressed for a long time and probably wouldn't of been able to take care of the kid the way you wanted. It might of inherited your depression or had to watch you deal with depression his/her entire life. I honestly think you made a wise choice.

Honestly, with the whole Charlie Kirk thing and the surrounding rhetoric over the past 4 days, i think you spared the kid from a whole lot of bullshit that can't be solved because the human condition is not fixable. The USA is now just a whole bunch of people who hate each others guts, and want to murder each other. One of the first things parents do when buying a house is to look for a good safe neighbor hood to raise their kids, but they don't look beyond the surface level, at the actual world and what it entails before they decide to bring a kid here. The crazy thing is, many of them are not happy themselves and some extremely so.

If happiness eludes you, maybe don't bring another soul here to experience the same.

 

[whywere]

I have had really bad depression from the get-go, and you are such a wonderful person.

I REALLY like @claracatchingthebus post. What she says goes the same for me to you, her thoughts are wonderful.

We are family here and you have such grace about yourself and how you think of others is so wonderful.

From the 1970's till about around 2005, I had a few ladies who wanted to have a kid with me. I always travel for work and that would be hard, and a kid is 24/7 till death in my point of view. After 18, one might not bank roll them anymore, however they are a person's DNA, so forever.

I believe in GOD and also his/her counterpart, the devil, but NOT organized religion. I mention this as I bet Saint Peter will be at the pearly gates wanting a long time from now to welcome you.

Wishing you a wonderful Sunday and upcoming week filled with lovely weather, and you are so kind and caring, you are a beautiful soul.

Walter