Story I'm going back to work next week

[Lotus1818]

After getting a few panic attacks and some mayor anxiety the office doctor decided to put me in this law where I was allowed to stay home for a while to recover.

Right now I stayed at home for 3 weeks. In those 3 weeks I tried to see how hanging felt like. It wasn't really an attempt but I just wanted to see how it felt.

When I was sick I found this forum and really studied the SN method. I actually have all the stuff now to CTB. But I feel a bit more at ease now. The urge to die is fading away ever so slightly.

My tramadol medicine also helps allot. It removes most of my chronic pain and makes me very happy. I also use it now as a way to reduce my anxiety.

I'm very scared for next week. But I can only try my best. And if it really sucks I atleast know I have a way out of this world.

 

[Little Mook]

Wishing you all the best for next week . I hope there's lots of positives for you from it. Keep us updated

 

[azucaramargo]

After getting a few panic attacks and some mayor anxiety the office doctor decided to put me in this law where I was allowed to stay home for a while to recover.

Right now I stayed at home for 3 weeks. In those 3 weeks I tried to see how hanging felt like. It wasn't really an attempt but I just wanted to see how it felt.

When I was sick I found this forum and really studied the SN method. I actually have all the stuff now to CTB. But I feel a bit more at ease now. The urge to die is fading away ever so slightly.

My tramadol medicine also helps allot. It removes most of my chronic pain and makes me very happy. I also use it now as a way to reduce my anxiety.

I'm very scared for next week. But I can only try my best. And if it really sucks I atleast know I have a way out of this world.

From which wonderful country do you hail? Sounds like you are getting good care. Happy the Tramodol has been helpful. You will do wonderfully at work.

 

[Jean4]

I am so very proud of you! Be sure to come here and update us. I know you are going to do great and will be back in the swing of things in no time.

 

[Lotus1818]

From which wonderful country do you hail? Sounds like you are getting good care. Happy the Tramodol has been helpful. You will do wonderfully at work.

Thank you I'm gonna try my best. I'm from the Netherlands. The company really seems to care about their employees. I just have my doubts about my boss. I think he doesn't really care. I feel like I'm expendable

 

[azucaramargo]

Thank you I'm gonna try my best. I'm from the Netherlands. The company really seems to care about their employees. I just have my doubts about my boss. I think he doesn't really care. I feel like I'm expendable

You ain't expendable; you are very valuable.

 

[Ross]

After getting a few panic attacks and some mayor anxiety the office doctor decided to put me in this law where I was allowed to stay home for a while to recover.

Right now I stayed at home for 3 weeks. In those 3 weeks I tried to see how hanging felt like. It wasn't really an attempt but I just wanted to see how it felt.

When I was sick I found this forum and really studied the SN method. I actually have all the stuff now to CTB. But I feel a bit more at ease now. The urge to die is fading away ever so slightly.

My tramadol medicine also helps allot. It removes most of my chronic pain and makes me very happy. I also use it now as a way to reduce my anxiety.

I'm very scared for next week. But I can only try my best. And if it really sucks I atleast know I have a way out of this world.

hope you have a good 1st week back. Getting a routine back will make you 100 times better. I know what it's like being signed off you just don't get out of bed and things go bad to worse very quick

 

[Temporarilyabsurd]

Good luck. @Lotus1818
I might do the same ...

It's been too long for me .

Be kind to yourself.

 

[pole]

goodluck, hope work goes amazing for you and things turn around for you in life. hope you find peace.

 

[Lefty]

Its nice to hear positive things. I hope it works out for you.

 

[Santiago]

Good for you that you got going again. How is your week going so far?

 

[Lotus1818]

Thnx everyone. This week was a bit tough for me. I was actually waiting for my contract meeting with the boss. After that I wanted to properly update you guys.

Right now the anxiety and sadness came back hard. I don't really eat allot at the moment.

Thank you guys for being here

 

[APharmaDestroyedLife]

After getting a few panic attacks and some mayor anxiety the office doctor decided to put me in this law where I was allowed to stay home for a while to recover.

I am so happy you are returning to work. As everyone says jist take it one day at a time. Try to just me in the moment and try not to think about the aspects of your work place that make you uneasy. Most likely yoi are not the only one there that has work place / social anxiety.

When i got my 2 methods to cbt secured and ready , it set my mind at ease too... mow i can focus on living and trying to help and support others, knowing i have my security blanket.

I am sure you will do great returning to work, im glad you found something to help with yoir anxiety.

Well done, and good luck

 

[cherub]

I'm happy to hear that you feel more at ease now. Sending you hugs and good luck. It's not easy returning to work with anxiety and after having suicidal thoughts. Hang in there

 

[Little Mook]

It's such a big change to go back into the work environment, mentally and physically. I bet things get easier as you get used to it more. Try to nourish yourself and rest. Proud of you OP

 

[Lotus1818]

I finally have my evaluation meeting this Friday. This is the most important day for me this year. It will either make me less or more suicidal. I will update you guys after Friday.

I've been shaking all evening now. My anxiety is at a max right now

 

[Lotus1818]

i wanted to make a new thread for this orignally but i dont really feel like thats necessary.
i talked to my boss together with another person from hr. He was shocked that i was so sad and in so much physical pain because of work.
he wants to help me for 2020. i dont really feel like anything is going to change. but i will see. 2019 was def one of the worst years for me.

 

[Little Mook]

Not long in , but how's 2020 going ?

 

[Lotus1818]

Not long in , but how's 2020 going ?

Thank you for asking. It's going alright so far. I'm trying to plan some stuff so I have reasons to live in 2020 and 2021.