Venting I'm gonna CTB tomorrow, can I have some words of encouragement?

[StairCaseMan]

I kinda screwed myself over (I didn't go to my exams so I failed every class) Cause I want to CTB but I'm scared so I made consequences for living. The only girl who accepted and cared about me left and took my soul with her. These past few days have been so empty, so lonely. I can't take it, I need her but she is gone for good. I wanted to jump but was too scared, I came back from college today and there is a train station in my home town. I plan to CTB from train decapitation while looking at old picture of our memories. I'm still scared so please give me words of encouragement. I decided to do it raw too so it will take my willpower to not get up and let SI take over.

 

[Mooncry]

I don't think anyone here is going to give you words of encouragement to kill yourself. Nobody wants to see anybody go down this road, nor encourage it. It's a very tragic thing at the end of the day and I'm sorry that you've been pushed to the point where you feel this is your only option. I'm personally at the same point and it's rough.

I don't really have anything to say other than I hope you find what you're looking for, whether it's while you're still with us or if you choose to take that leap. Nothing but love.

 

[fallingtopieces]

I'm sorry you are feeling so overwhelmed and alone. Did you miss your exams because of the breakup?
Breakups are very hard on us, and we need time to grieve. I know you're in pain right now, and you just want the pain to stop. But this is impulsive under the weight of all of this and your fear is telling you this is not the right path right now. I hope you can find some time to just give yourself a rest right now.

 

[StairCaseMan]

I'm sorry you are feeling so overwhelmed and alone. Did you miss your exams because of the breakup?
Breakups are very hard on us, and we need time to grieve. I know you're in pain right now, and you just want the pain to stop. But this is impulsive under the weight of all of this and your fear is telling you this is not the right path right now. I hope you can find some time to just give yourself a rest right now.

The break up happened the day before exam week started, I've been depressed all week, only got up to use the bathroom or get water, didn't eat anything, when exam day came, I just stayed in bed crying and thinking about old memories

 

[Orangee]

I don't think it would be right for anyone here to encourage you to CTB, but we will be here to listen and comfort. I'm sorry you have gone through so much, and it is causing you so much pain. If you are scared please take your time and think it through. The train station will always be there, and your bus ticket won't expire.

I hope you find peace <3

 

[StairCaseMan]

I don't think anyone here is going to give you words of encouragement to kill yourself. Nobody wants to see anybody go down this road, nor encourage it. It's a very tragic thing at the end of the day and I'm sorry that you've been pushed to the point where you feel this is your only option. I'm personally at the same point and it's rough.

I don't really have anything to say other than I hope you find what you're looking for, whether it's while you're still with us or if you choose to take that leap. Nothing but love.

Thank you but I've always wanted to die. She actually saved me from dying when we met. She was suicidal too and we got a long very well. I wish things didn't turn out this way. I miss her.

I don't think it would be right for anyone here to encourage you to CTB, but we will be here to listen and comfort. I'm sorry you have gone through so much, and it is causing you so much pain. If you are scared please take your time and think it through. The train station will always be there, and your bus ticket won't expire.

I hope you find peace <3

I failed all my exams and I'll probably get disowned and thrown out for failing so many classes by my parents. My dad has always been abusive since I was a kid and hit me full force over small stuff when I was a kid. I've always feared him. I'm scared what he'll do if he finds out so I want to CTB before then.

 

[Imeavie]

I am also dealing with heartbreak, homelessness, and disabled among other things. I say this not to make it about me, but to assure you I come from a place of understanding (as much as anyone can without actually being you).

Also I am terribly sorry that you are experiencing this, and that you have to live afraid of anyone, especially the one person who should protect you.

It is not my place to encourage, or discourage any actions you think will bring you peace.
However, I will say in the end we cant expect someone else to save us. Either we can save ourselves, or we cant. I know that sounds cruel, but it is the unfortunate truth.
Before you make any final decisions, think everything through carefully, and explore all options no matter how small or hopeless they may seem. If you are sure you simply must catch the next bus out of town, schedule that trip 6 months from now. This will give you time to discover new opportunities that may not be present, or may be hard to see at the moment.
I am not promising anything will get better, change, or even not get worse. I wont lie to you, and say I believe all life is precious. I am simply saying like tattoo, its permanent, and you should be sure its what you want to do.

It is not my intention to sound dismissive, or even ignorant as the mainstream populace, I am simply sharing what I feel is the best advice I have to offer from my own experiences.
If anything I have said offends, or upsets you in anyway, I do sincerely apologize, and feel free to express so.