I'm gonna try to turn my life around

[Reflection]

I kind of find it surreal how I haven't gone through with my planned attempt earlier this week, but what happened gave me a boost of hope to try and turn things around in a healthy way.

I still miss my ex girlfriend like crazy everyday, and thinking about her being with someone else hurts like hell. A future with her is all I wish for and so I'm gonna do all I can to improve things and be someone she wants again and feels safe and happy with...I know I can do this.

 

[TheLastGreySky]

You can absolutely do this.
I don't want to patronize you telling my story but I will say this, whatever's meant to be will be.
Sometimes you think you have the greatest person in the world... But even if it takes 100 years you're going to realize there's someone better out there for you. You can lose 100 years in your tears or you can make sure not to lose a single day choosing misery.

You're capable of great things.
Take a step forward when you're ready.
You got this and if you need someone to message I'm here.

 

[wayn]

You can do it, keep it up!

 

[disjectamembra]

hey man youve got this. everything will work out for you. nothing is impossible and youre strong. take care

 

[Reflection]

You can absolutely do this.
I don't want to patronize you telling my story but I will say this, whatever's meant to be will be.
Sometimes you think you have the greatest person in the world... But even if it takes 100 years you're going to realize there's someone better out there for you. You can lose 100 years in your tears or you can make sure not to lose a single day choosing misery.

You're capable of great things.
Take a step forward when you're ready.
You got this and if you need someone to message I'm here.

I know that you mean well, but after a year of this I've already reached a point where it's final, so many people out there but it's not the same and I've come to accept it for what it is. Though thank you for your encouraging words.

 

[James Sunderland]

Hey, I remember seeing your earlier post, and it's really cool to see you here now with this new boost of hope.

It takes so much strength to make that kind of turn. I know how hard it can be when you miss someone so deeply, and it makes sense that you'd want to work on things for the future. Just remember to take care of yourself along the way, becoming the person you want to be, first and foremost. You're on the right path, and you've got this.

- Much love, James Sunderland himself (possibly)

 

[TheLastGreySky]

I know that you mean well, but after a year of this I've already reached a point where it's final, so many people out there but it's not the same and I've come to accept it for what it is. Though thank you for your encouraging words.

I was in love with my ex for 3 years after we left and we spent 12 years together, 10 married. I'm not trying to patronize you... It legitimately does get better it just takes a much longer time than it should.

 

[Reflection]

I was in love with my ex for 3 years after we left and we spent 12 years together, 10 married. I'm not trying to patronize you... It legitimately does get better it just takes a much longer time than it should.

I get what you're saying. It's just that I don't want it to just get better like this because even if I can manage the pain and start something new with another person, it wouldnt change the reality...I want to fix everything if I can help it.

 

[Innereye]

Figure out who you are, what you want, why? And how to get it

Universal best advice for anyone wanting to live.

 

[TheLastGreySky]

I get what you're saying. It's just that I don't want it to just get better like this because even if I can manage the pain and start something new with another person, it wouldnt change the reality...I want to fix everything if I can help it.

The truth you need to accept no matter how long it takes for you to process it... If they had stayed they would have only stayed for the wrong reasons.
If they loved you the way you loved them...
They would have stayed.
You can't make someone love you.
But you can make them regret losing you by loving someone else better.

The best revenge is success.
And I know it's not about revenge...
The younger You believes in you.
The future you is counting on you.
You're everything You Will ever need to be,
You just have to manifest it.

 

[JustAnx]

wish you the best!!!

 

[Reflection]

The truth you need to accept no matter how long it takes for you to process it... If they had stayed they would have only stayed for the wrong reasons.
If they loved you the way you loved them...
They would have stayed.
You can't make someone love you.
But you can make them regret losing you by loving someone else better.

The best revenge is success.
And I know it's not about revenge...
The younger You believes in you.
The future you is counting on you.
You're everything You Will ever need to be,
You just have to manifest it.

Not to be a dick but I've heard it all before more times than I can count and thought I about it as much as I could and to be honest don't really see a point in any of it...Neither being ultra successful nor finding someone new would replace a person that I know I truly love, I'm not going to lie to myself, Ive already met two truly wonderful women in the past few months, and at one point I was happy at the thought that I was finally moving on, only to realize I havent budged an inch when I would just remember her and miss her again... Not every situation is the same, yeah she left and I resent her for it but if there's a chance at wiping the slate clean and fixing everything, I sure as hell would take it, and if it comes to a point where I would kill myself, it's not out of revenge or over her, but rather out of love for myself, to not live with the pain anymore.

 

[TheLastGreySky]

Not to be a dick but I've heard it all before more times than I can count and thought I about it as much as I could and to be honest don't really see a point in any of it...Neither being ultra successful nor finding someone new would replace a person that I know I truly love, I'm not going to lie to myself, Ive already met two truly wonderful women in the past few months, and at one point I was happy at the thought that I was finally moving on, only to realize I havent budged an inch when I would just remember her and miss her again... Not every situation is the same, yeah she left and I resent her for it but if there's a chance at wiping the slate clean and fixing everything, I sure as hell would take it, and if it comes to a point where I would kill myself, it's not out of revenge or over her, but rather out of love for myself, to not live with the pain anymore.

I've been there, and that's the only reason I'm telling you why your feelings will change. I was 100% convinced at the core of my soul that I wouldn't ever love anyone else the way I did my ex.

I pursued redemption to the point of planning suicide. But it wasn't me who changed it was the person that I was with.

I'm not telling you what to do.
You can DM me and we can take turns pouring our guts out... But it's nothing you did...
no matter how much you convince yourself it was you.
No matter how much they tell you it was you.

They chose not to stay.
And all you can do is accept and there would NEVER of been ANYTHING that would have made them stay. Because SHE NEVER LOVED YOU.
Even if you thought they did.
Even if you told yourself they did.
Even if they told you they did.
It was a mask.

And if you choose to CTB,
I only hope you do so with peace.
Not with guilt or shame.

But love yourself enough to make someone shine the way she shined to you if you're able to.
Peace.

 

[forgottenfantasywrt]

Proud of you bro. Best of luck bettering yourself and getting your mind off her :D

 

[accountnamerequired]

That's very noble of you good luck

 

[Leiot]

The Buddha said it was attachment to things and people that cause suffering. Well, he could let go it but I can't. The only thing I've found to get me through it is to find some way to laugh at it.

If there's someone I'm pineing for I just repeat to myself that no matter how hot a woman is, somewhere, there is some guy, who is fed up with her sh*t. This works for women too. (No matter how hot a guy is, somewhere, there is some woman...)

Laughing at something removes it's power. I laugh at my suicidal thoughts, my bipolar condition.. just about everything.

 

[Reflection]

I've been there, and that's the only reason I'm telling you why your feelings will change. I was 100% convinced at the core of my soul that I wouldn't ever love anyone else the way I did my ex.

I pursued redemption to the point of planning suicide. But it wasn't me who changed it was the person that I was with.

I'm not telling you what to do.
You can DM me and we can take turns pouring our guts out... But it's nothing you did...
no matter how much you convince yourself it was you.
No matter how much they tell you it was you.

They chose not to stay.
And all you can do is accept and there would NEVER of been ANYTHING that would have made them stay. Because SHE NEVER LOVED YOU.
Even if you thought they did.
Even if you told yourself they did.
Even if they told you they did.
It was a mask.

And if you choose to CTB,
I only hope you do so with peace.
Not with guilt or shame.

But love yourself enough to make someone shine the way she shined to you if you're able to.
Peace.

I know exactly every last thing you just told me, and Ive heard it all time and time again. It's not going to change anything...it all feels like moving the goalposts: wait for a month and it'll get better, then 2 months, 5, a year, 2 years etc.... When I havent healed an inch for more than a year now, while every waking moment is living hell.

 

[TheLastGreySky]

I know exactly every last thing you just told me, and Ive heard it all time and time again. It's not going to change anything...it all feels like moving the goalposts: wait for a month and it'll get better, then 2 months, 5, a year, 2 years etc.... When I havent healed an inch for more than a year now, while every waking moment is living hell.

It doesn't heal by itself.
You're broken...
You need to change.

Legitimately, perspective is the hardest thing to change.
You don't have to get better...
But it's the easy way out.
And because you're here I think better of you.
You are whoever you choose to be

 

[Demi-Fiend]

Treat yourself the way others want to be treated. We're the only ones capable of learning to ride our steeds, no one else can do that for us. Even though I don't even fucking take my own advice, things can get better. Emotional heartbreak from a relationship fucking sucks, and I'm sorry you had to endure it. But if your ex did that to you, they're likely to do it again to someone else.