I'm not going to get better

[Butterfly-death]

People say to wait for it to get better but I know it won't because everyday it's the same feeling over and over again. EVERY DAMN DAY FOR YEARS. Why am I being punished? Why is life so cruel to me? I'm never happy, ever. And yes it's most likely mental illness and there's not even a cure for that. Fuck getting help (not saying anyone shouldn't though, that's just my personal preference). Life is too much for me to handle and I don't want to handle it. I shouldn't have to be here if I don't want to but I have no option of a way out. It's not fair. "Life isn't fair" so then let me die already. I didn't choose this. I didn't ask to be the way I am or deal with responsibilities. Nothing or no one is worth living for and if I'm wrong for saying that then I guess I'm a bad person. But I'm tired of the sadness, anger, emptiness, and anxiety because those are the only things I feel. I don't want to exist. I genuinely hope my heart stops beating. If only.

 

[AbyssalAlien]

No one is stopping you from dying. There are plenty of methods. Even painless ones as long as you dont screw it up.

Maybe you are more burnt out than you are suicidal.

 

[opheliaoveragain]

No one is stopping you from dying. There are plenty of methods. Even painless ones as long as you dont screw it up.

Maybe you are more burnt out than you are suicidal.

keep in mind this person has been banned. i'm sorry you're feeling like this. your choices are your own regardless. here if you'd like to talk

 

[FuneralCry]

I also just wish to not exist as well, all I personally hope for is to never suffer ever again, it's so cruel to me how there's all this suffering in existing, it really sounds like you've suffered a lot and I understand why you'd feel so tired of it all. But anyway best wishes.

 

[whitesumac]

People say to wait for it to get better but I know it won't because everyday it's the same feeling over and over again. EVERY DAMN DAY FOR YEARS. Why am I being punished? Why is life so cruel to me? I'm never happy, ever. And yes it's most likely mental illness and there's not even a cure for that. Fuck getting help (not saying anyone shouldn't though, that's just my personal preference). Life is too much for me to handle and I don't want to handle it. I shouldn't have to be here if I don't want to but I have no option of a way out. It's not fair. "Life isn't fair" so then let me die already. I didn't choose this. I didn't ask to be the way I am or deal with responsibilities. Nothing or no one is worth living for and if I'm wrong for saying that then I guess I'm a bad person. But I'm tired of the sadness, anger, emptiness, and anxiety because those are the only things I feel. I don't want to exist. I genuinely hope my heart stops beating. If only.

I know your pain as I live it everyday.when I was a little boy my mom met a man whom would wait for my mom to go to work and then lock my 4yr old sister in her room and me at age 3 with 3rd stage hirchbrungs disease I had stoma/eliostomy bag and IV's in my head and arms and this guy would beat me till unconscious this went on for 3 yrs. Ever since then I've hated being alive and life's beat me down since. In and out of foster care all the abuse I went thru I'm truly damaged , I don't trust anyone I'm living unhealable pain that only gets heavier by the day, I'm also canadian and it's hard to find a gun here or I'd be gone already as that everyday I open my eyes is torture, the only time I'm at peace is when I'm asleep for the 2 to 3 hrs I get to sleep. I truly know how you feel. I'm picking things up today hopefully that will CTB for me and I can finally be at peace with everything ...