TheLastGreySky
Arcanist
- Nov 24, 2023
- 442
I'm not sure what to do anymore.
I have been on an emotional roller coaster going back and forth from possibly getting my kids to getting my rights terminated, to add fuel to the fire it's now dependent on whether or not I get a prison sentence because of some bullshit I actually didn't do, but due to the beautiful system of jury trials they just have to think I did.
I feel like I put off this for a long time because things kept happening and I kept getting hope. But I'm tired of getting sick from stress. And I know that should I get a prison sentence, that I might not get the chance to ctb.
Honestly I need real friends.
Every time I get a girlfriend we stay together a couple months maybe even a year, and then that's over and all it ever did was waste my time treating someone way better than they would ever treat me. Right now I'm being stuck by my ex who made a Facebook page with my profile picture and my name calling me a predator so, it looks like she's going to push me to the edge and either jump or push me.
I think anyone who lies about these types of things are disgusting and never imagined anyone would make stuff up about me.
And she's got in my head where no one's going to believe me. I actually end up calling police on her and they said "we can't prove it's her" even though they legitimately arrested me for Facebook messages that weren't from me just to still charge me.
I'm so angry going on but I honestly don't want this anger. I'm tired of people living in my head rent free. I don't wish I was dead so much as I wish I was never born. And this pain isn't going to end, and I don't want it imprinting on me.
I worked through years of my abuse from my childhood just to open myself up to abuse in my adult life.
Well this is long as hell, so I'll shut up now.
I have been on an emotional roller coaster going back and forth from possibly getting my kids to getting my rights terminated, to add fuel to the fire it's now dependent on whether or not I get a prison sentence because of some bullshit I actually didn't do, but due to the beautiful system of jury trials they just have to think I did.
I feel like I put off this for a long time because things kept happening and I kept getting hope. But I'm tired of getting sick from stress. And I know that should I get a prison sentence, that I might not get the chance to ctb.
Honestly I need real friends.
Every time I get a girlfriend we stay together a couple months maybe even a year, and then that's over and all it ever did was waste my time treating someone way better than they would ever treat me. Right now I'm being stuck by my ex who made a Facebook page with my profile picture and my name calling me a predator so, it looks like she's going to push me to the edge and either jump or push me.
I think anyone who lies about these types of things are disgusting and never imagined anyone would make stuff up about me.
And she's got in my head where no one's going to believe me. I actually end up calling police on her and they said "we can't prove it's her" even though they legitimately arrested me for Facebook messages that weren't from me just to still charge me.
I'm so angry going on but I honestly don't want this anger. I'm tired of people living in my head rent free. I don't wish I was dead so much as I wish I was never born. And this pain isn't going to end, and I don't want it imprinting on me.
I worked through years of my abuse from my childhood just to open myself up to abuse in my adult life.
Well this is long as hell, so I'll shut up now.
