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  • Hey Guest,

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nopointofliving

nopointofliving

Warrior
Apr 19, 2021
513
I'm not feeling well, and I think I will stay alone forever. Even I'm too kind and considerate about others, but others don't give a damn about me, and they don't even try to re-phrase their sentence to seem more friendly or kinder. I'm really tired. I know I'm a weak person, I know many people put labels on me, and that's okay. But sometimes I cant manage it, and now I can't handle it, so I prefer to be away. I'm barely trying for my life. But others don't see the struggle , they just want to make comments. I was chatting with someone (from a language site). He's considered a successful person in society (he's married, has two daughters, and stable job...money...etc). He was showing off that he is buying a new car, which really annoys me. Then, I was telling him that I'm confused what language to focus on. Then he said: "first you should find a job". This sentence really triggered me . It might be nothing for you, but it really hurts and annoys me.

After that, I was talking with a friend, and I told him: "how life can be a bitch" and he said: "No, life is good". I told him: "how can you say that? you know how much I tried for my life, you know what did I do??" he said: "yes but you refused to enroll many jobs , that others accept". And again this really destroyed me: "then I need to pick up wrong jobs so I can be socially accepted". This is awful. Then I told him: "I need a break , I'm tired". he said: "you wanna leave, i dislike your behavior, if I don't agree with you, you leave". Everyone can be right, and I'm the wrong one, why??? because I'm failing. So if I was dancing somewhere, making good amount of money, I won't be wrong , I will be right because I'm rising. People can't understand how awful life can be to me unless they experience that, then they can understand my pain, and others' pain

unfortunately, I'm isolating myself more and more. I'm left with no one because most of them are mean and unkind. I can't fake my emotions and words. I can't pretend I'm okay with them. I'm not, so I'm pulling myself away. And guess what, it makes no difference to them or to anyone. People will run after their benefits, that's it. Once I'm out of their circle, I'm no longer important. I'm writing this while crying... I'm losing... I'm really losing... I can't take this shitty life alone. It's like you're lying down and everyone is stabbing you with a knife. It's awful.
 
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T

timf

Enlightened
Mar 26, 2020
1,323
You might want to be careful not to let the unkindness of others cause you to be unkind. This might cause you to unknowingly drive away the one person who might have been kind to you.

You might want to create in your mind an space for evaluating people to gauge whether or not you should open up to them. This might buffer you from unkind people and allow you to better identify those who might be kind.
 
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W

WornOutLife

マット
Mar 22, 2020
7,164
I can relate.
I'll probably stay alone and lonely forever too.
However, it's really a shame this is happening to you because I can see you're a really lovely person. I bet you might found someone who seriously care about you eventually.

Whatever happens, I wish you the best, dear.

Hugs and love,

Matt
 
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Water-Lily

Water-Lily

Enlightened
Dec 26, 2020
1,201
You might want to be careful not to let the unkindness of others cause you to be unkind. This might cause you to unknowingly drive away the one person who might have been kind to you.
I do this tbh. There isn't anyone willing to be nice anymore
 
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