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BaconCheeseburger

BaconCheeseburger

Comfort-eating
Aug 4, 2018
693
I'm not ready to CTB yet but I'm at a point where I want to start preparing things.

Rather than one note for "everyone", I'm considering personalised ones for each member of my family. My only problem is my autistic brother; I couldn't write one for him. i wouldn't know what to say.

I want this process to be real. Starting to write means that I'm stepping away from just ideas and closer to actually doing it. That's scary and I feel like I need to tell someone, so I'm telling you guys on here.

I'm both terrified and eager. I want this, but it's gonna fuck up so much for everyone else. If only I was just 'moving away' for the rest of my life, or something. This is something I feel is right to do. The future doesn't feel like a place where I belong. That's how the rest of you feel, right?

This is terrifying.
 
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M

Miss clefable

Enlightened
Aug 23, 2018
1,577
Yes I feel the same the future scares me so much so hugs
 
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MissLisa

MissLisa

Student
Sep 13, 2018
153
I have wrote my final wishes already, mostly what to do with my body as I fear being locked in a small space. I have also left a letter with practical info (passwords and memory sticks etc) in my medicine box. I have already done those because apart from planning on dying I also get very impulsive and suicide is a risk I take a lot. I am going to write a personal letter to each important person in my life. It is something they will always have of me. It will take awhile to do and will be very emotional. I wish life had been different and I could stay with them.
 
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Hunter

Hunter

Experienced
Sep 14, 2018
260
I'm not ready to CTB yet but I'm at a point where I want to start preparing things.

Rather than one note for "everyone", I'm considering personalised ones for each member of my family. My only problem is my autistic brother; I couldn't write one for him. i wouldn't know what to say.

I want this process to be real. Starting to write means that I'm stepping away from just ideas and closer to actually doing it. That's scary and I feel like I need to tell someone, so I'm telling you guys on here.

I'm both terrified and eager. I want this, but it's gonna fuck up so much for everyone else. If only I was just 'moving away' for the rest of my life, or something. This is something I feel is right to do. The future doesn't feel like a place where I belong. That's how the rest of you feel, right?

This is terrifying.
So you're writing notes before you have a method or plan? Hmm.
 
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BaconCheeseburger

BaconCheeseburger

Comfort-eating
Aug 4, 2018
693
So you're writing notes before you have a method or plan? Hmm.
Does it make a difference? The intent is still there. There's no set protocol for this, mate
 
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Nanimoaru

Nanimoaru

I wanna fade away like I never was
Sep 15, 2018
153
I'm not ready to CTB yet but I'm at a point where I want to start preparing things.

Rather than one note for "everyone", I'm considering personalised ones for each member of my family. My only problem is my autistic brother; I couldn't write one for him. i wouldn't know what to say.

I want this process to be real. Starting to write means that I'm stepping away from just ideas and closer to actually doing it. That's scary and I feel like I need to tell someone, so I'm telling you guys on here.

I'm both terrified and eager. I want this, but it's gonna fuck up so much for everyone else. If only I was just 'moving away' for the rest of my life, or something. This is something I feel is right to do. The future doesn't feel like a place where I belong. That's how the rest of you feel, right?

This is terrifying.
Yea I feel the same way. I haven't felt like I had a future for over 10years now
 
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Hunter

Hunter

Experienced
Sep 14, 2018
260
Does it make a difference? The intent is still there. There's no set protocol for this, mate
No one said there was. Genuine question: why write the notes if the idea of ctb'ing terrifies you so much? It's kinda like forced torture. I wrote notes months ago and it's hard if you already feel guilty about what you're doing. If I had done it before gettin a method, I think it would have shut me down for a long time from moving forward. Maybe it isn't the same for you, but I found it very hard to do right away.
 
Last edited:
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Over n' Out

Over n' Out

△△△△△△△△△△△△
Aug 5, 2018
196
I'm having toast for breakfast, oh look, this thread has turned into facebook.
 
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BurningLights

BurningLights

He killed himself with his own mind
Jul 2, 2018
709
Im in the same boat, but I really don't know how to go about it. I keep jumping from idea to idea. Personalised or just a note saying fuck you? I don't know here to start.
 
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