Venting I’m Ready

[cracklingroses]

I am so exhausted. I can't keep trying to make excuses to be alive, especially just for the sake of appeasing others when I know my death will inevitably bring them more relief than they realize, or are willing to fully admit. I am trying to not do it during the holidays, but honestly I have lost my will to do anything but lay in front of the tv. Back from another failed psych ward admission and everything keeps cementing in how absolutely worthless I am and everything is aligning to me finally dying this year. I am ready.

 

[SVEN]

I know the feeling so well, my best wishes as you continue to endure.

 

[insideitsempty]

why not do it in the holidays ? everyone would be too busy celebrating to even notice,

 

[L'absent]

It's a perception. Do you really think there is something or some useful living being? It's all the result of chance and punishment. No one will be better off without you. Everyone will continue to feel bad, life is just suffering and you can't do anything about it. Suicide puts an end to our suffering, but here in existence nothing changes. And when we died we wouldn't even be able to experience the end of suffering. So if you live you suffer and if you don't suffer there is no existence. Basically, life is a moment of suffering between two moments of nothingness.

 

[FuneralCry]

I really understand feeling so tired of suffering in this existence, I also feel tired of it all. But anyway I wish you the best.

 

[hereornot]

I too, when I die, will be a relief to them. I had never given a reason for this, on the contrary. Recently I decided to give reasons as I already suffer the consequences of how they treat me wrongly.

And this my decision is greatly enhancing my strength and conformity to combat the SI.

I even think I went a little too far.

 

[cracklingroses]

I know the feeling so well, my best wishes as you continue to endure.

I am sorry you know the feeling too, I wish you the best moving foreword in your healing as well

why not do it in the holidays ? everyone would be too busy celebrating to even notice,

My mom has lost close loved ones around this time and it's just a hard time of year for my family since they have a lot of grief with other loved ones in general, missing them. It's just not a good time.

It's a perception. Do you really think there is something or some useful living being? It's all the result of chance and punishment. No one will be better off without you. Everyone will continue to feel bad, life is just suffering and you can't do anything about it. Suicide puts an end to our suffering, but here in existence nothing changes. And when we died we wouldn't even be able to experience the end of suffering. So if you live you suffer and if you don't suffer there is no existence. Basically, life is a moment of suffering between two moments of nothingness.

I appreciate this perspective a lot. Thank you

I really understand feeling so tired of suffering in this existence, I also feel tired of it all. But anyway I wish you the best.

I'm sorry you feel so tired too. I see you on here a lot and I really wish you the best as well. You seem like such a kind, compassionate, loving soul who is really trying to do their best in a very chaotic and dysfunctional society/world