I'm so done with everything.

[RainAndSadness]

I've lost control over my life completely. And it has probably a lot to do with me being ready to ctb soon. My bills are piling up, I don't really eat anymore. My sleep schedule is all messed up. I don't take care of myself anymore. I barely take my hormones, which is important for me as a trans person. I'm basically throwing my money out the window, knowing that it won't be very useful anymore once I ctb'd anyway. My room looks like a mess, which I think is representing how I feel very well. I don't even have the energy anymore to fill out my application to change my name and gender legally, which was very important for me intitally. All the things that used to be fun, important or entertaining for me are stale and boring now. I'm basically just waiting for my dress to arrive so I can ctb whenever the right time comes.

 

[Deutsch]

Don't despair - even when things are their bleakest, know that every person ends up in the same place. Hell cannot last forever.

 

[suffering]

I'm basically throwing my money out the window, knowing that it won't be very useful anymore once I ctb'd anyway.

that's what I did before realizing I can't go through with ctb. Maybe you are braver, but just in case... keep the worst case scenario in sight and don't burn your bridges...

 

[CRM]

Hope the chaos ends for you soon. Next month is your plan, right?

 

[RainAndSadness]

that's what I did before realizing I can't go through with ctb. Maybe you are braver, but just in case... keep the worst case scenario in sight and don't burn your bridges...

Thanks, I'm trying to keep a certain amount. I'd like to cover some of the costs related to my death.

Hope the chaos ends for you soon. Next month is your plan, right?

Yes. I hope so. After my birthday.

 

[Okami]

I wish you peace whenever you decide to go through with your plans. I'm sorry you've had to go through so much.

 

[axorz]

i knew your method is N, have you planned something for the taste?

 

[RainAndSadness]

i knew your method is N, have you planned something for the taste?

I'm gonna mix it the N with orange juice or syrup anf use a lidocaine spray.

 

[Morning Angel]

I understand the complete and utter exhaustion, watching yourself become less and less human, and how it is to wait. I hope you find some comfort in the fact that it's coming soon.