I'm so f***** tired..

[suffering]

Nothing in my life works... And I keep trying.. I've been hustling my whole life, always trying new ideas, learning, working.. I feel so powerless. To see nothing work, to have no positive feedback from life, no concrete hope, no nothing... Only bad luck, constant unexpected and undeserved expenses and battles... When will all this end? Why haven't I been granted the courage to end it?
there's force in me that just wants complete capitulation... homelessness, capitulation, inaction, surrender to fate.
I'm so tired.... It's too much................................................................I want to sleep, sleep forever..........................

 

[GravityUtilizer]

Yeah I'm unemployed and depressed and can't really be arsed with working again but I know it's my only chance to move on. Almost certainly to more BS though...

 

[Dead beat dad]

Nothing in my life works... And I keep trying.. I've been hustling my whole life, always trying new ideas, learning, working.. I feel so powerless. To see nothing work, to have no positive feedback from life, no concrete hope, no nothing... Only bad luck, constant unexpected and undeserved expenses and battles... When will all this end? Why haven't I been granted the courage to end it?
there's force in me that just wants complete capitulation... homelessness, capitulation, inaction, surrender to fate.
I'm so tired.... It's too much................................................................I want to sleep, sleep forever..........................

Bless you brother I know this feeling well. The over arching tiredness eclipsing all other things...
Love and respect to you friend, fair play for fighting for so long and I'm so sorry you've got to this point.
Here if you want to vent your spleen brother...
DBD

 

[EraseRewind]

I can relate to all your posts, sometimes I just can't go on trying. The effort just to put a false smile on my face is too much, I'm in constant pain in the mornings now and lock down means no treatment.

I can't get a job because I got a record when I was drinking and no one will ever employ me now just constant rejection. So I hid by studying at university and I'm afraid that will come to nothing.

I failed three times at ctb but I was so happy once I made the decision last time, I sometimes want that feeling back but I know I have keep trying and plugging away

 

[Cashewmilk]

That's why I hate life so much and I don't have any motivation to "get better". Lol for what? This? No thanks. I'm just hiding and existing, I'm glad I got my mom otherwise I'd probably jump off a bridge by now.

 

[RileyTanaka]

My honest feeling is that most of our lives are out of our control anyway, whether it's the circumstances you're born into or the type of suffering you'll have to face in your life. That's not to say there aren't things you can do to feel like you're making strides in your life, but it's just much harder when you're mentally or physically ill. I wish I knew what to say except that I'm sure a lot of us here don't see the point in going much longer in life either. Everyday I wait longer seems to be a mistake.

 

[lotus11]

Nothing in my life works... And I keep trying.. I've been hustling my whole life, always trying new ideas, learning, working.. I feel so powerless. To see nothing work, to have no positive feedback from life, no concrete hope, no nothing... Only bad luck, constant unexpected and undeserved expenses and battles... When will all this end? Why haven't I been granted the courage to end it?
there's force in me that just wants complete capitulation... homelessness, capitulation, inaction, surrender to fate.
I'm so tired.... It's too much................................................................I want to sleep, sleep forever..........................

sooooooo relatable.

 

[deadgirlahsatan]

Nothing in my life works either.
I'd love to sleep forever too.
Every year gets worse.

 

[suffering]

I wish there was a god to hear me when I cry and say 'I can't anymore, I can't anymore' so he can put me out of this misery. It's really unbearable to keep trying so hard as I try and to get absolutely nothing out of life. Nothing.

 

[suffering]

I just stopped crying... My head hurts...........another failure.............. nothing, nothing works. I don't want to be rich or live in luxury, I just want to know that I can master a basic skill to help me be financially independent, to stop living such a miserable life of wage slavery. That's all I want................... It's such a horrible powerlesness to feel like you have no control over your environment, no nothing. I feel like I'm going crazy. Why can't I just overcome my SI to end this horrible life??? I don't want to be here. Nothing I do is out of desire, it's all for survival, all to avoid suffering. I don't want this, I don't want to live anymore. Why isn't there a god to hear me when I cry that I can't take this anymore????????????????

 

[ebt88]

Have you picked a ctb method?