chaosdrifter
pirate without pronouns but anxiety
- Mar 20, 2024
- 64
fuck, i really don't know anymore.
actually i promised myself to make it possible to kill myself before the end of december.
but now, it seems possible with pretty little effort to move out of my current living situation to a new place with more freedom (hopefully) and that is less of a dump in the next week or two.
also, the ingredients for chlorform haven't arrived yet. i feel so impatient and i long to ctb so deeply but now i think maybe i should do the removals?
it could make my situation a little better and if i kill myself, i will leave my relatives and friends with a way less messy situation.
but at the same time, it makes me feel depressed because it would mean there's a bunch of things to do before I can ctb...
also, my friend would help me to do the removals and I would host him and I don't want to ctb during his stay at wherever I live... how do I get rid of him after we did the removals?
i'm so confused and tired...
actually i promised myself to make it possible to kill myself before the end of december.
but now, it seems possible with pretty little effort to move out of my current living situation to a new place with more freedom (hopefully) and that is less of a dump in the next week or two.
also, the ingredients for chlorform haven't arrived yet. i feel so impatient and i long to ctb so deeply but now i think maybe i should do the removals?
it could make my situation a little better and if i kill myself, i will leave my relatives and friends with a way less messy situation.
but at the same time, it makes me feel depressed because it would mean there's a bunch of things to do before I can ctb...
also, my friend would help me to do the removals and I would host him and I don't want to ctb during his stay at wherever I live... how do I get rid of him after we did the removals?
i'm so confused and tired...
