I'm so sick of people insisting it "gets better". WHEN?

[ARawYouth]

I've been diagnosed with PTSD for about five years, but I've had it for much longer, showing complex PTSD symptoms as far back as I can remember. Everywhere says it gets better and I sometimes wish I could yell at them. I'm on medications. I'm on my fifth therapist. But it's been five fucking years and I just. I'm exhausted. So beyond exhausted. On top of the PTSD, I'm trans and most likely autistic (I can't afford a diagnosis but I do fit many symptoms and people assume I'm autistic anyway, my boss has even made fun of me for some of the "autistic traits" and calls me weird). Right now, I'm crying because my DOG TRAINER is moving and I'm feeling the abandonment trauma all over again. Right when I thought help was on the way, as I figured a service dog may help (my doctor agreed it's worth a try). She was often the only bright spot in some weeks for me with my younger dog. Normally I'm borderline agoraphobic when I don't force myself through the workday, but I looked forward to her sessions. And now she's moving who knows where. I know it's so stupid. Yet, here I am. It's going to take everything in me not to demand the answer from my therapist, when it "gets better". Almost every day, it's like being tortured by my own brain. Every moment is filled with pain.

 

[nattys5thtoenail]

I 100% understand your frustration but for some people it does get better, but I am aware that unfortunately for some people life will just suck forever.

I feel like saying it when someone has stated multiple times they have 0 will to live and are ready for suicide is annoying though.

 

[Adûnâi]

It's pure RNG. I got two insanely lucky events in both 2023 and 2024. But of course, if it's too much, there's no harm in suicide either. Depends on how curious and willing to wait you are? I for one used to set out a timeline of 2-3 years (still here). The JP girl set it to 6 months (in the past).

 

[Tuonetar_]

I hear you. "It gets better" is only comforting when someone is in a temporarily bad situation. When you're dealing with something like a chronic illness/developmental disability/etc it's meaningless at best and downright insulting at worst.

[...] I know it's so stupid. Yet, here I am.

(WARNING: Unsolicited advice incoming)

I don't think it's stupid at all. You're not "stupid" for having emotions and you're certainly not "stupid" for having lived what sounds like a very difficult and traumatic life. All things considered, you seem very cognizant of your emotions and why you're feeling them, which is a sign of emotional intelligence!

As someone who also has the double-whammy of autism and CPTSD, here's my advice: Have a full on melt-down about this. Seriously. Cry your eyes out, punch some pillows, listen to sad music, write a big long angsty letter about how horrible this situation is, take a hot shower and cry some more, whatever. Don't worry about whether or not you're being stupid or unreasonable, just let it out. Because I will tell you right now, from personal experience, the absolute WORST thing you can do right now is let the shame get to you and suppress how you're really feeling. All that emotional energy has to go somewhere, and it's much better to let it out now, in a controlled and private manner, than to let it continue to boil inside you. It won't magically fix your situation but it probably will alleviate some of the anxiousness you're feeling right now. And you'll probably take a good-ass nap afterwards, too. Lol.

Anyways, I'm really sorry that life has been so unfair to you and left you in so much pain. You deserve better.

 

[Pryras]

When people say "better" what they really mean is that if you stick around long enough, the likelihood you experience something positive in your life is higher than if you ended it. Not exactly motivating or helpful. What they don't realize is that it can also become 10x worse in the process.

 

[Douggy82]

The reality is that for some people, it just gets worse.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I don't even know how such a phrase can apply to me considering how my issues are with life itself. Me continuing to stay alive isn't going to magically change life, it's instead going to make me experience more of life and that's exactly what I'm trying to avoid. My issues are with existence itself and how suffering and hardship are inherent to existence

 

[ThisGameIsOverrated]

I think the whole "it gets better" rhetoric is survivorship bias due to there being many formerly suicidal people who end up wanting to live but what the people pushing such rhetoric don't realise is just because some suicidal people get better doesn't mean all inevitably will

 

[neonzebra]

Most people who say that have only experienced temporary bouts of depression or normal levels of sadness when the usual difficult life events happen. They don't understand that there are people out there who have terrible life situations that won't improve, or that some people have been depressed since childhood.

 

[Ashu]

It's like Jordan Peterson's "You can do it tomorrow." It's touching, these normtards, they have no idea.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand why you'd feel so tired, it really sounds like you've suffered a lot, it's so cruel and dreadful to me how there's all this suffering in existing. But anyway I wish you the best.

 

[simplyshmee]

It doesn't "get better" unless you are willing to put in the effort and manifest the nobility and understanding to make it better.