I'm so terribly fed up it's awful I don't even have anyone to talk to, I have rejected every person close to me

[Wkoncuodejde]

I'm sorry to pour out my regrets here, because I really have spurned friends of acquaintances and my loves over the past few years, I'm so sick of this fucked up life, literally everything has turned out the way it wasn't supposed to. Not only am I a mental wreck, but I add to this addiction just to feel even worse, although I don't need to do that at all, I think it's more to hate myself even more and finally pour out the scales of bitterness and end myself. I have a SN at home, although it was ordered over a year ago rally so it's probably unusable, but still every now and then I have the thought to use it and end it all. Really it's so shitty of me, I hate myself with all my heart and what am I supposed to do with it as I don't even have the courage to leave, just having, such thoughts exhaust me so mentally. I am not able to do anything to anything. I'm sorry for this rambling it's been a long time since I've been this bad with myself, I just need to get it out of me this whole hatred of myself and everything around me, and I don't even have where or to what person. I sound like some cringe edgy teenager writing all this but really I'm a machine for making mistakes in my life and not learning from them. I don't hurt myself physically anymore but I have had my whole legs scarred for years now, when I look at them they just remind me of the early pain and the fact that now I feel even worse now. I sometimes wish my life could look "normal", but it's my fault for allowing such shit to happen. I'm sorry you read this and I wish you a good day and much peace in your mind.

 

[cotton]

Well mistakes are there not to be repeated and days are there to be had a new x I wish you peace, resilience and prosperity friend

 

[Leiot]

No one here will reject you.

 

[Wkoncuodejde]

I'm again at the lowest point of my life even though I promised myself I wouldn't go back there again

 

[Wkoncuodejde]

Another day when, after opening my eyes, I regret waking up

 

[Wkoncuodejde]

I am giving myself one last chance in life to end of the year, today I found a job and ordered a new SN
I will start working from next week.
25.11.2024 i will write to her on our anniversary. If I don't get the last chance for a happy life, I will try to finish it before the new year, I can't live without her and with another sense of guilt

 

[Wkoncuodejde]

from the last "true love" that i messed up i was recovering for 3 years. fuck it i'm not ready to go through this shit again.