ValkyrieCain
Drifting away
- Dec 18, 2024
- 15
Tbh I had enough, with life in general, daily living itself has become difficult and tedious. Doing simple things, like brushing my teeth or even using the toilet are things I dread to do , cause it would require me to leave my bed.
Im isolated from everyone ; family and friends. I did talk to my gp thou by call to get put on my meds again around last week, but it just feels like its making things worse. I live in constant condemnation every single day, i hate the pityfull state im in, physically and mentally. I neglect myself but at the same time I just dont have the motivation to do anything else but lay cuddled up in my bed. I feel lazy but cant do anything about it.
I've completely let myself go over the past 8 months , a downhill spiral and never really picked myself back up. I even have no job, keep getting constant rejection even from the low experience jobs.
I barely shower now , rarely go out. Currently on a sick note for 3 months.
Im just ready to go at this point, Im tired, im just so done. I look at people going on jogs, working out, waking up early ; going about their daily life , socialising , just living , and wonder how do they manage to do all of that in a day or even have the drive to do it. Its foriegn to me atp.
Im trying to find a way out something painless with a high success rate. Ill be grateful for method suggestions. I've decided to ctb myself, since I decided that , I want it to ctb without the chance of being left in a vegetative state or another failed attempt.
I currently have 20 + tablets of mirtazapine which works as a sedative, its also a trcylic antidepressant.
Im isolated from everyone ; family and friends. I did talk to my gp thou by call to get put on my meds again around last week, but it just feels like its making things worse. I live in constant condemnation every single day, i hate the pityfull state im in, physically and mentally. I neglect myself but at the same time I just dont have the motivation to do anything else but lay cuddled up in my bed. I feel lazy but cant do anything about it.
I've completely let myself go over the past 8 months , a downhill spiral and never really picked myself back up. I even have no job, keep getting constant rejection even from the low experience jobs.
I barely shower now , rarely go out. Currently on a sick note for 3 months.
Im just ready to go at this point, Im tired, im just so done. I look at people going on jogs, working out, waking up early ; going about their daily life , socialising , just living , and wonder how do they manage to do all of that in a day or even have the drive to do it. Its foriegn to me atp.
Im trying to find a way out something painless with a high success rate. Ill be grateful for method suggestions. I've decided to ctb myself, since I decided that , I want it to ctb without the chance of being left in a vegetative state or another failed attempt.
I currently have 20 + tablets of mirtazapine which works as a sedative, its also a trcylic antidepressant.
