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sadsoul

sadsoul

Alive and unwell
Sep 9, 2018
440
Is anyone else really limited when it comes to methods? I hate that I'm so young and still live with my parents, I feel like my freedom is so limited. I can't order anything, I can't be away from home for too long, I can't do anything without my parents noticing. The only viable methods for me would be hanging or jumping. But the problem with hanging is that I need to be home alone (which almost never happens) and overcoming the SI is difficult. The problem with jumping is that I don't know any accessible bridge that is definitely high enough and not too far away. It's really frustrating seeing so many people have easy access to methods. I wish I could just buy N at the local pharmacy and get it over with lol. I hate being trapped on this planet and not being able to do anything about it :/ I guess the only thing I can do right now is wait and hope that someday I get the chance to ctb.
 
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therhydler

therhydler

Enlightened
Dec 7, 2018
1,196
Is anyone else really limited when it comes to methods? I hate that I'm so young and still live with my parents, I feel like my freedom is so limited. I can't order anything, I can't be away from home for too long, I can't do anything without my parents noticing. The only viable methods for me would be hanging or jumping. But the problem with hanging is that I need to be home alone (which almost never happens) and overcoming the SI is difficult. The problem with jumping is that I don't know any accessible bridge that is definitely high enough and not too far away. It's really frustrating seeing so many people have easy access to methods. I wish I could just buy N at the local pharmacy and get it over with lol. I hate being trapped on this planet and not being able to do anything about it :/ I guess the only thing I can do right now is wait and hope that someday I get the chance to ctb.

I have a similar problem :/ though I had possibilities before when I lived alone, but after my first failed attempt I am crippled and my family is basically keeping me on suicide watch. I am really, really desperate to end it but it looks like my only reliable option will be hanging. I wish I had thought through my first attempt more, I didn't even know then about N, now I don't have the money or means to get it :( I feel completely trapped also
 
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sadsoul

sadsoul

Alive and unwell
Sep 9, 2018
440
I have a similar problem :/ though I had possibilities before when I lived alone, but after my first failed attempt I am crippled and my family is basically keeping me on suicide watch. I am really, really desperate to end it but it looks like my only reliable option will be hanging. I wish I had thought through my first attempt more, I didn't even know then about N, now I don't have the money or means to get it :( I feel completely trapped also
I'm so sorry your attempt failed and that you're crippled now :( If I may ask, how did you attempt? It sucks that some of us have to live horrible lives without a way out. But I hope you can find your peace soon.
 
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E

Ella Disenchanted

Student
Sep 3, 2018
120
I feel trapped by my difficulty overcoming the fear/survival instinct. It's a wretched feeling. Knowing that I may have to ensure more failed attempts before I finally break free is beyond heart breaking at this point.
 
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therhydler

therhydler

Enlightened
Dec 7, 2018
1,196
I'm so sorry your attempt failed and that you're crippled now :( If I may ask, how did you attempt? It sucks that some of us have to live horrible lives without a way out. But I hope you can find your peace soon.

I ran in front of a speeding truck... guess it serves me right for getting other people into it :/ but at least the driver knows he didn't kill me and all the damage is reversible. I'll be fully fit in no time... (no I won't, hopefully I won't be here)
 
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E

Ella Disenchanted

Student
Sep 3, 2018
120
I ran in front of a speeding truck... guess it serves me right for getting other people into it :/ but at least the driver knows he didn't kill me and all the damage is reversible. I'll be fully fit in no time... (no I won't, hopefully I won't be here)
That's a ballsy thing to do. I wish I had some of that. My problems would be over.
 
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Amira

Amira

Student
Nov 15, 2018
180
Is anyone else really limited when it comes to methods? I hate that I'm so young and still live with my parents, I feel like my freedom is so limited. I can't order anything, I can't be away from home for too long, I can't do anything without my parents noticing. The only viable methods for me would be hanging or jumping. But the problem with hanging is that I need to be home alone (which almost never happens) and overcoming the SI is difficult. The problem with jumping is that I don't know any accessible bridge that is definitely high enough and not too far away. It's really frustrating seeing so many people have easy access to methods. I wish I could just buy N at the local pharmacy and get it over with lol. I hate being trapped on this planet and not being able to do anything about it :/ I guess the only thing I can do right now is wait and hope that someday I get the chance to ctb.
I totally understand you , now all CTB seems to be is just a fantasy. I wish I could just get my hands on it. Those people who have had the chance to attain N are blessed. I am still wondering why some havent CTB yet because I would have happyily drank the whole load as soon as I got it from the package because theres a huge guarentee it wounldn't fail or be very painful. To me N would be as good as winning the lottery.
 
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Eren

Eren

Si hablas español mándame un MP
Oct 27, 2018
1,073
I also live with my parents, I know how difficult it is to plan such a suicide, for example if I buy SN I do not know where to hide it
 
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F

furax53

Student
Nov 13, 2018
191
I have a similar problem :/ though I had possibilities before when I lived alone, but after my first failed attempt I am crippled and my family is basically keeping me on suicide watch. I am really, really desperate to end it but it looks like my only reliable option will be hanging. I wish I had thought through my first attempt more, I didn't even know then about N, now I don't have the money or means to get it :( I feel completely trapped also
if you do not mind talking about it, what did you use as a ctb method to fail and become disabled?
 
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therhydler

therhydler

Enlightened
Dec 7, 2018
1,196
That's a ballsy thing to do. I wish I had some of that. My problems would be over.

I actually did it because to me it seamed like the easiest... I would never ever be able to jump for example. And it was completely painless, I don't remember a thing. Of course the pain came after...
 
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therhydler

therhydler

Enlightened
Dec 7, 2018
1,196
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F

furax53

Student
Nov 13, 2018
191
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therhydler

therhydler

Enlightened
Dec 7, 2018
1,196
oh yes sorry for you i hope the next will be the good one and you're handicapping ah that she level?

sorry, don't think I understand the question...:)
 
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F

furax53

Student
Nov 13, 2018
191
sorry, don't think I understand the question...:)
excuse me I do all to the translator and I wanted to know you're handicapped ah it level of your body?
 
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therhydler

therhydler

Enlightened
Dec 7, 2018
1,196
excuse me I do all to the translator and I wanted to know you're handicapped ah it level of your body?

I broke my spine and leg but I am already after the operations and I am able to walk a bit
 
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sadsoul

sadsoul

Alive and unwell
Sep 9, 2018
440
I totally understand you , now all CTB seems to be is just a fantasy. I wish I could just get my hands on it. Those people who have had the chance to attain N are blessed. I am still wondering why some havent CTB yet because I would have happyily drank the whole load as soon as I got it from the package because theres a huge guarentee it wounldn't fail or be very painful. To me N would be as good as winning the lottery.
Same, if I had N I'd be gone by tomorrow. Tbh at this point even SN would be as good as winning the lottery to me.
 
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F

furax53

Student
Nov 13, 2018
191
I broke my spine and leg but I am already after the operations and I am able to walk a bit
it's been a long time since you did ctb with a truck?
 
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B

Bart

Member
Dec 12, 2018
6
i have the deer fear to overcome my basic instinct to survive.
 
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Amira

Amira

Student
Nov 15, 2018
180
I failed 2 ctb this summer and I was hospitalized and cons I did not have a sequel
What method did you use in your failed attempts?
 
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S

Shewaitsforme

Arcanist
Sep 23, 2018
493
I was thinking last night about people who are trapped. Ive had to buy 250g of SN and if it works ill only have used 15g. Even if i halved the tub alot would be left over. Previoisly i bougt a 10litre nitrogen cylinder, its suggested only 2-5litres is required. Its a shame people cant just come and have whats left over obviously logistics and then becoming apart of that persons death would be a problem so i see why it wouldnt work but can you imagine it.
 
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divinized

divinized

Member
Nov 26, 2018
84
Yep. I'm pretty young so my parents would definitely know something's up if I suddenly ask them to take me somewhere in order to get what I need to ctb. If I order anything there's the risk of them getting the package or opening it before I get it. I feel stuck.
 
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L

Lifeisatrap

Arcanist
Oct 5, 2018
408
I have a similar problem :/ though I had possibilities before when I lived alone, but after my first failed attempt I am crippled and my family is basically keeping me on suicide watch. I am really, really desperate to end it but it looks like my only reliable option will be hanging. I wish I had thought through my first attempt more, I didn't even know then about N, now I don't have the money or means to get it :( I feel completely trapped also
Same:( I'm an adult that's still living as a teenager. All I want is to ctb in peace. It sucks being this trapped.
 
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Weeping Garbage Can

Weeping Garbage Can

ਕਿਰਪਾ ਕਰਕੇ ਮੈਨੂੰ ਭੁੱਲ ਜਾਓ ❤️
Oct 31, 2018
320
I feel like a very old grandma who is tired and just wants peace in a teenager's body
 
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