Discussion In need of support

[Railiah P]

I took a break from SS in hopes that I could continue strong on my path to recovery. I'm back because things are getting difficult and I could use some support from someone who can understand what I'm going through. My marriage doesn't seam to be getting any better and to make matters worse, I'm pregnant. I'm scared that I may be sinking even deeper into that dark place where I reside than usual. I really do want to recover and be normal. I want to feel happiness and hope. I don't want to end up leaving my child without a mother.

 

[timf]

Since you are pregnant, I assume your marriage has some spark left in it. Many women find a lack of demonstrated affection to be a key missing element in their marriage. Many men have no idea how important this can be. If an improvement in this area is something that would help keep the darkness away, you might consider communicating with you husband what would help you.

 

[noaccount]

Welcome (back) and sorry you're here. What do you want to do / looking for?

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

First of all, a huge congratulation on the pregnancy! I hope you find support here to help you with your marriage. Don't worry about not being "normal", you seem like a unique person and there's someone for everything.

 

[Railiah P]

Since you are pregnant, I assume your marriage has some spark left in it. Many women find a lack of demonstrated affection to be a key missing element in their marriage. Many men have no idea how important this can be. If an improvement in this area is something that would help keep the darkness away, you might consider communicating with you husband what would help you.

I thought so too. But after finding out that I'm pregnant things took a turn for the worse. We can't even have a conversation with out it turning into an argument. I'm considering our options...but everything is so one sided it's always up to me to fix things.

Welcome (back) and sorry you're here. What do you want to do / looking for?

I'm not really sure what I want. I guess I'm looking for hope. I just don't want to do something that I can't take back. I also don't want a failed attempt while pregnant. I'm almost certain that wouldn't end well for the baby and I would just end up alone in yet another mental hospital for god knows how long.

 

[noaccount]

That all makes a lot of sense. The dynamic does not sound fair to you at all and you deserve better than a home life where someone doesn't listen or support you.

 

[Railiah P]

First of all, a huge congratulation on the pregnancy! I hope you find support here to help you with your marriage. Don't worry about not being "normal", you seem like a unique person and there's someone for everything.

Thank you. I hope so too. I just feel really alone in this and I can't tell my family. My husband thinks I have recovered from wanting to CTB. Really he thinks I was faking/ being dramatic anyway. I definitely can't tell him.