In sickness and health

[SpencerSees]

I have been sick for the past two weeks. Sicker than I've ever been in my life. I prayed that it was something serious, coughing up blood seemed to line up with that. But no, just the flu. Choking in the middle of the night thinking I will die, was only the flu.
I had a lot to think about in these past weeks. I saw the toll this simple sickness took on my parents, especially my mother. She was angry and irritable. My father didn't believe me, said I just wanted to skip work or school. It was clear this was a burden for them both. I think I've been like that for a long time, but not always.

There was a time I was different. I wasn't a happy child by a longshot, but I thought if I could just get a good grade, finish this project, play video games, I'll be okay. Over time these goals turned to moving out, finding someone who tolerates me, making my teachers like me. But now they are all useless. I know this won't change based on location, I know this won't change based on who likes me and who doesn't. None of my lovers could save me, and to be fair, that wasn't their job to do. I just thought if I knew I was loved, things must be different. So I'm making a choice, investing in a rope, all the good stuff. Piñata! Well, not really. I prefer partial hanging.

 

[GoSan1]

I have been sick for the past two weeks. Sicker than I've ever been in my life. I prayed that it was something serious, coughing up blood seemed to line up with that. But no, just the flu. Choking in the middle of the night thinking I will die, was only the flu.
I had a lot to think about in these past weeks. I saw the toll this simple sickness took on my parents, especially my mother. She was angry and irritable. My father didn't believe me, said I just wanted to skip work or school. It was clear this was a burden for them both. I think I've been like that for a long time, but not always.

There was a time I was different. I wasn't a happy child by a longshot, but I thought if I could just get a good grade, finish this project, play video games, I'll be okay. Over time these goals turned to moving out, finding someone who tolerates me, making my teachers like me. But now they are all useless. I know this won't change based on location, I know this won't change based on who likes me and who doesn't. None of my lovers could save me, and to be fair, that wasn't their job to do. I just thought if I knew I was loved, things must be different. So I'm making a choice, investing in a rope, all the good stuff. Piñata! Well, not really. I prefer partial hanging.

I have a cold right now too, slowly starting to go away, but when it was starting, I too felt like dying in the night. My breath was really heavy but it wasn't even uncomfortable, so I understand why one would wish for a sickness to take ones life. Its natural, so no one can say anything about it, leaves the guilt of ctbing out...

Either way, I'm sorry it has gotten this far for you too... Hoping the best for you

 

[isolatedl111]

I have been sick for the past two weeks. Sicker than I've ever been in my life. I prayed that it was something serious, coughing up blood seemed to line up with that. But no, just the flu. Choking in the middle of the night thinking I will die, was only the flu.
I had a lot to think about in these past weeks. I saw the toll this simple sickness took on my parents, especially my mother. She was angry and irritable. My father didn't believe me, said I just wanted to skip work or school. It was clear this was a burden for them both. I think I've been like that for a long time, but not always.

There was a time I was different. I wasn't a happy child by a longshot, but I thought if I could just get a good grade, finish this project, play video games, I'll be okay. Over time these goals turned to moving out, finding someone who tolerates me, making my teachers like me. But now they are all useless. I know this won't change based on location, I know this won't change based on who likes me and who doesn't. None of my lovers could save me, and to be fair, that wasn't their job to do. I just thought if I knew I was loved, things must be different. So I'm making a choice, investing in a rope, all the good stuff. Piñata! Well, not really. I prefer partial hanging.

Hm