Venting In the end

[CuriousAboutThis]

In the end,
I won't pretend,
The life I have,
I should be grateful,
Despite I'm miserable,
Not lonely,
Just empty,

The pain I feel,
In my head,
It seems emotional,
It is painful,
But it is mental,
Not physical,
But genetic,
I hate myself,

Why do I live,
When I want to die,
Where am I going,
What have I become,
Who am I to the rest of the world,
How did I do this,
To myself,

Please forgive me,
Even if you hate me,
Even if love you me,
Even if you know me,
Or if you don't,
I am sorry for all my sins,
And my virtues,

My temptations led me to this point,
I have no more to give,
Just regrets of my existence,
I don't deserve the things I have,
For I know that,
Just take me away,
To heaven, or Annihilation,
Whether it exists,
In my head,
Or in reality,
Just forgive me,
For I don't believe,
It is just not possible to me,
That supposedly God loves me,
For I don't believe,
Even if I want to,
It is just not there for me.

My story whether it is real,
Or weather out the storm,
Before the calm,
However fake,
However real,
It does not matter,
Anymore,
This world is cruel,
It is kind,
It is everything,
We made it to be,
Even nothing,
Within this world,
Within the species,
Of all existence,
Within contradictions,
Within ourselves,
Just let it all end.

 

[Ntothed]

In the end,
I won't pretend,
The life I have,
I should be grateful,
Despite I'm miserable,
Not lonely,
Just empty,

The pain I feel,
In my head,
It seems emotional,
It is painful,
But it is mental,
Not physical,
But genetic,
I hate myself,

Why do I live,
When I want to die,
Where am I going,
What have I become,
Who am I to the rest of the world,
How did I do this,
To myself,

Please forgive me,
Even if you hate me,
Even if love you me,
Even if you know me,
Or if you don't,
I am sorry for all my sins,
And my virtues,

My temptations led me to this point,
I have no more to give,
Just regrets of my existence,
I don't deserve the things I have,
For I know that,
Just take me away,
To heaven, or Annihilation,
Whether it exists,
In my head,
Or in reality,
Just forgive me,
For I don't believe,
It is just not possible to me,
That supposedly God loves me,
For I don't believe,
Even if I want to,
It is just not there for me.

My story whether it is real,
Or weather out the storm,
Before the calm,
However fake,
However real,
It does not matter,
Anymore,
This world is cruel,
It is kind,
It is everything,
We made it to be,
Even nothing,
Within this world,
Within the species,
Of all existence,
Within contradictions,
Within ourselves,
Just let it all end.

Read the entire poem. Just know you aren't alone. We are all here in support, no matter which route you choose. We all support you here on SS, reach out to anyone if you need ANYTHING.

 

[CuriousAboutThis]

Read the entire poem. Just know you aren't alone. We are all here in support, no matter which route you choose. We all support you here on SS, reach out to anyone if you need ANYTHING.

I appreciate that I felt like I needed thank you and everyone here who has their own struggle peace in life and peace in death.

 

[Ntothed]

I need help getting this over with

Getting what over with?

 

[JustAboutDone]

Dieing. I wish I was dead already.

I'm so sorry you're struggling xx So many here are feeling in a similar way, it's so painful. All I can do is reach out to you and say you're not on your own - and I know that is very little comfort xx