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BeansOfRequirement

BeansOfRequirement

Man-child, loser, autistic, etc.
Jan 26, 2021
5,784
Am a little drunk writing this so don't expect as good writing as before. I went to the forest and was alone for several hours, brought a litre of 10% beer and a small whiskey, 40cl I think. I have no alcohol tolerance since I don't drink so that's enough for me. At the moment I only drank the beers (I think I threw some of it) but am a bit tipsy.

New paragraph, I am correcting myself so much I am soon to just let the mistakes happen. So I sat and drank the beer while carving some branches, saw a deer. I eventually set up the rope, I had a branch noted before hand. I tie a bowline around the branch, it works, I tie a slipknot. I duct tape a towel around the neck and place myself in the noose. When I sat there drinking I could only think of how I am not attractive to women and how my little sister will deal with this death.

Anyway I plant my weight into the noose, and after a millisecond I stand up since it hurts. I do this two or three times and walk home. The trachea gets squished so I can't breathe and it hurts a lot. So I guess I have to go with carotid slashing, step one is buying a scalpel somehow. My combat knife is not suited for this purpose so I should buy a scalpel. Thx for reading.
 
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W

WornOutLife

マット
Mar 22, 2020
7,163
Cheers, bro!
Enjoy that booze!

I tend to think of the same when I drink! It helps to clear your mind.
 
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BeansOfRequirement

BeansOfRequirement

Man-child, loser, autistic, etc.
Jan 26, 2021
5,784
Cheers, bro!
Enjoy that boose!

I tend to think of the same when I drink! It helps to clear your mind.
Thinking about how women reject you on online dating is clearing your mind? Sry I don't understand, but sending hugs since you have also tried partial.
 
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shy

shy

Student
Aug 23, 2020
122
What triggered it this time? Another happy couple at the gym?

I enjoy reading your post, I'm already excited to read part 3 "Went to the ER with a scalpel stuck in my neck". (Hope it gets better or that you find another method at least, slashing sounds horrible.)
 
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BeansOfRequirement

BeansOfRequirement

Man-child, loser, autistic, etc.
Jan 26, 2021
5,784
What triggered it this time? Another happy couple at the gym?

I enjoy reading your post, I'm already excited to read part 3 "Went to the ER with a scalpel stuck in my neck". (Hope it gets better or that you find another method at least, slashing sounds horrible.)
Lol, not really scared of failing an attempt so I guess that could happen tbh. Nothing triggered it this time, I've just had enough of the loneliness. I don't have any better method, maybe jumping, I don't want to do anything cognitively demanding.
 
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WornOutLife

マット
Mar 22, 2020
7,163
Thinking about how women reject you on online dating is clearing your mind? Sry I don't understand, but sending hugs since you have also tried partial.
I don't think of that when I drink!
I'm just happy and forget all my shit and I guess that's why I feel my mind cleared lol.

I'm sorry booze doesn't have that effect on you :(

Hugs back!
 
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sadbadpsychogirl

sadbadpsychogirl

sonofabitch
May 29, 2020
725
i might have to slash my neck too i already have scalpels and a resistance band to use as a tourniquet. i also have to get drunk first for the courage and to help the blood flow. its gonna suck.
 
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BeansOfRequirement

BeansOfRequirement

Man-child, loser, autistic, etc.
Jan 26, 2021
5,784
i might have to slash my neck too i already have scalpels and a resistance band to use as a tourniquet. i also have to get drunk first for the courage and to help the blood flow. its gonna suck.
Jumping, firearms, full suspension, long drop, N, SN, night-night, ODs and gas are all better in the way that we don't have to actively "kill ourselves to death". Partial and exsanguination are so fucking brutal since we have to push through horrific amounts of pain and SI.
 
BandAddict

BandAddict

Specialist
Apr 3, 2019
338
Yikes, wouldn't that hurt, too? Sounds tough, physically and mentally. I'm sorry it didn't go well, and feeling the need to resort to something more gruesome is unfortunate. Wishing all the best.
 
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BeansOfRequirement

BeansOfRequirement

Man-child, loser, autistic, etc.
Jan 26, 2021
5,784
Yikes, wouldn't that hurt, too? Sounds tough, physically and mentally. I'm sorry it didn't go well, and feeling the need to resort to something more gruesome is unfortunate. Wishing all the best.
Yeah, I'm thinking about jumping from 30-ish metres onto solid ground now. It's 90% and most likely an extremely painful death (not instant). I have no good options tbh. Can't really but inert gasses or SN, I could shoot myself at a gun range but it's really risky, don't want to risk buying N or something.

I'm too stupid for the peaceful methods, basically.
 
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S

Symbiote

Global Mod
Oct 12, 2020
3,099
I had worked up enough adrenaline from anger that when I slashed my arm one day, I didn't feel anything. Not even when the nurse was stitching me up in the hospital 2 hrs later. It started hurting when the adrenaline wore off and I let go of my anger. Something to think about when you think of painful methods. If I'm going that route, I would have to make myself angry in some way...kinda like "Hulking Up".
 
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BeansOfRequirement

BeansOfRequirement

Man-child, loser, autistic, etc.
Jan 26, 2021
5,784
I had worked up enough adrenaline from anger that when I slashed my arm one day, I didn't feel anything. Not even when the nurse was stitching me up in the hospital 2 hrs later. It started hurting when the adrenaline wore off and I let go of my anger. Something to think about when you think of painful methods. If I'm going that route, I would have to make myself angry in some way...kinda like "Hulking Up".
Yes, I have entered these states and even stabbed and slashed myself a bit, destroyed parents' furniture and TV. I am just too calm now, can't really get worked up anymore. :eh:
 
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sadbadpsychogirl

sadbadpsychogirl

sonofabitch
May 29, 2020
725
Jumping, firearms, full suspension, long drop, N, SN, night-night, ODs and gas are all better in the way that we don't have to actively "kill ourselves to death". Partial and exsanguination are so fucking brutal since we have to push through horrific amounts of pain and SI.
i'm thinking the shock from seeing all the blood gush out might make me pass out. i hope so...
 

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