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Xaphous

Xaphous

hikikomori
Nov 11, 2018
550
Isolation with no outlet leads to rage, then rage recedes into sorrow and suicidal thoughts then severe depression to total apathy then back to rage. No outlet, no social connection every month of every year for as long as I can remember. I need to work out a good ctb method but it's such a fucking task to follow through. I don't think there could be more suffering unless I was also starving to death.
 
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TAW122

TAW122

Emissary of the right to die.
Aug 30, 2018
6,925
Do you have any tall buildings or bridges or areas where you could jump from? Also, do you have places where you could hang a rope to do partial/full? These two are methods worth considering if you aren't able to get a firearm or access to other means of CTB'ing. As far as rage and suicidal thoughts, depression, I can relate to that as I too, have bouts of rage when coping fails or I have no outlets for a short time.
 
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Xaphous

Xaphous

hikikomori
Nov 11, 2018
550
Do you have any tall buildings or bridges or areas where you could jump from? Also, do you have places where you could hang a rope to do partial/full? These two are methods worth considering if you aren't able to get a firearm or access to other means of CTB'ing. As far as rage and suicidal thoughts, depression, I can relate to that as I too, have bouts of rage when coping fails or I have no outlets for a short time.
Not any tall buildings I could get access to, of course I can get a rope though and thought of using a pull up bar to hold myself but of course much easier said than done.
 
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Please_stop

Please_stop

Member
Apr 8, 2019
45
I can relate. I often feel lonely and misunderstood, which leads to sorrow, which leads to rage when you realize how other people don't get you and how they treat you... And so you isolate yourself even more. A vicious cycle
 
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H

Hotsackage

Enlightened
Mar 11, 2019
1,050
Do you have any tall buildings or bridges or areas where you could jump from? Also, do you have places where you could hang a rope to do partial/full? These two are methods worth considering if you aren't able to get a firearm or access to other means of CTB'ing. As far as rage and suicidal thoughts, depression, I can relate to that as I too, have bouts of rage when coping fails or I have no outlets for a short time.
Hanging isnt easy unless you're a celebrity
 
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Xaphous

Xaphous

hikikomori
Nov 11, 2018
550
I initially wrote a much longer post but there is no need. I think I need mental health help that simply doesn't exist. So awful and useless here, I've never heard of anyone that had a good experience actually. Just checking some places near me and literally everyone gave them 1/5 star rating.

My suffering has disabled me from doing or achieving anything at all and there's nothing I can do about it. I guess I spent years just trying to accept that even.
I'm thinking N is the only method I have the courage to do, too bad I'm also broke right now.
 
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Davy

Davy

Have a great day!
Mar 24, 2019
144
Isolation with no outlet leads to rage, then rage recedes into sorrow and suicidal thoughts then severe depression to total apathy then back to rage. No outlet, no social connection every month of every year for as long as I can remember.

I'm sorry to hear that. Humans are social animals and isolation is one of the worst things that can happen to someone since it often leads to more severe problems.
From my experience it has been; anxiety, isolation, unemployment, anhedonia, depression, hopelessness, and then finally, suicide ;-;

May I ask why you are alone and isolated? Is there anyone you can talk to at all?
 
Xaphous

Xaphous

hikikomori
Nov 11, 2018
550
I'm sorry to hear that. Humans are social animals and isolation is one of the worst things that can happen to someone since it often leads to more severe problems.
From my experience it has been; anxiety, isolation, unemployment, anhedonia, depression, hopelessness, and then finally, suicide ;-;

May I ask why you are alone and isolated? Is there anyone you can talk to at all?
Almost a lifelong thing for me, It's a hole I dug and find no way out of. I'm also unemployed and can't find work. I do have my parents only, but we very seldom talk, never with dad and only superficial things with mother. They act like they have no idea why I'm angry or depressed which stirs up more anger.
 
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H

Hotsackage

Enlightened
Mar 11, 2019
1,050
Almost a lifelong thing for me, It's a hole I dug and find no way out of. I'm also unemployed and can't find work. I do have my parents only, but we very seldom talk, never with dad and only superficial things with mother. They act like they have no idea why I'm angry or depressed which stirs up more anger.
Parents are the reason I'm still here. But something just happened and I need out soon. Csnt live my life like this
 
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Xaphous

Xaphous

hikikomori
Nov 11, 2018
550
Parents are the reason I'm still here. But something just happened and I need out soon. Csnt live my life like this
They never helped me apart from providing shelter and food. Never advised on anything at all. I have no hate or resentment but they've done nothing to help knowing full well I have no one else in my life.
 
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I am ___________

I am ___________

Hated, Unloved by the world and everything in it.
Jan 3, 2019
134
It is only natural to be angry, and have feelings of rage. We never asked to be born, and yet we are expected and trapped here like prisoners.
 
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