Is anyone else sick of being nearly ready?

[itwasallascream]

I've had my SN for four months and have planned the date so many times and then backed out. I'm so fucking tired of this game but can't ever seem to go through with it.

Today I was ready. I got things ready and then took a nap. Now I'm awake and I don't want to go through with it today. This is so frustrating. I thought I was ready and was glad all of this was over.

Now my brain says that things are not so bad. Until next time.
Fuck I hate this life, this species, this planet, all of it. And my fucking SI won't let me leave. Why would anyone want to survive this?

Does anyone have any tips on how to set a date and the committ?

 

[Coal54321]

Yep, I've been certain that "today is the day" so many times in the last few weeks. It's so frustrating I just want to get over being scared and do it already.

 

[NegevChina]

I am ready but haven't set the date yet. My method is to scary its jumping. I kind of got stabilized in a condition that I know Im going to CTB but still waiting for something very bad to happen to trigger it. Next bad thing that's about to happen is running out of money and losing my house, I guess I wont be able to get over that. I already lost my ability to work, losing support of certain family members, my CPTSD is controlling me right now, and I might be slipping in to deep depression.

 

[lacustra]

Having the means to commit suicide means very little unless you're a very impulsive person. Part of you wants you to live, another part wants you to die. It's like that story about the two wolves. Whatever part you keep feeding will eventually overcome the other part. It just takes time, but nobody can say how long.

You'll know when you get there, I suppose.

 

[Gangrel]

im always ready until i have to pull the trigger, or jump lol it's sickenning

 

[BoredNTired]

Yeah, I've been procrastinating for a while to the point where idk when or if i'd ever go through with it. The only reason I think I'm going to be able to stick to my goal of doing it before the end of the year is that I've been skipping classes in preperation for it and I'd rather not get kicked out of the house when my parent finds out. My own volition isn't very reliable, but as long as Its an action taken out of cowardice I feel pretty confidant in going through with it.