N
NoPoint2Life
Why is this so hard?
- Aug 31, 2024
- 422
Sometimes I wonder why I feel the way I do.
Yes, I'm depressed, but not nearly as bad as some people here. I have severe OCD and go for exposure therapy for it. I have made some progress and have had these thoughts many times within the past year: when I decide I don't want to do something, what is the cause?
As far as chores around the house that used to consume my OCD I was able to stop doing some. But I wonder if it's because the treatment is working or if I'm just getting lazy from all these years of being exhausted from my OCD. Or am I getting more depressed than I realize? I don't think I fit the true definition of anhedonia- mostly because I still like to do the simple stuff like I still enjoy watching TV and reading a lot. (And lately I have this weird obsession of Watching old sitcoms from the 80s and 90s. Sometimes I swear it's the highlight of my day)
I have noticed lately an increase in me just not wanting to be challenged. For instance, I get this newsletter every day with a word puzzle at the bottom and I no longer have any interest in doing it. I used to play Candy crush obsessively. I haven't played in several months, I got sick of it. I used to like doing jigsaw puzzles, but the one that I have currently been in the middle of which I have not worked on for months and months just became too challenging and I gave up from lack of motivation. Last week I tried to quit my exposure therapy. I didn't feel I was capable of making any more progress and it's like I'm not willing to be challenged anymore and feel uncomfortable.( long story short, I did not fully quit. Just going once a week now.)
And then there is boredom. I have no desire to leave the house, but I can't really say that it's because of my OCD anymore, it's like I just can't be bothered and there's nothing interesting enough to make me want to venture out. I have wound up with more time on my hands, which is more time to get bored. I go to bed earlier and earlier every night because by that point I am just sick of watching TV or reading and sleep is a relief so I can't wait to have that time where I am at peace.
Does anyone else ever have thoughts like these?
Yes, I'm depressed, but not nearly as bad as some people here. I have severe OCD and go for exposure therapy for it. I have made some progress and have had these thoughts many times within the past year: when I decide I don't want to do something, what is the cause?
As far as chores around the house that used to consume my OCD I was able to stop doing some. But I wonder if it's because the treatment is working or if I'm just getting lazy from all these years of being exhausted from my OCD. Or am I getting more depressed than I realize? I don't think I fit the true definition of anhedonia- mostly because I still like to do the simple stuff like I still enjoy watching TV and reading a lot. (And lately I have this weird obsession of Watching old sitcoms from the 80s and 90s. Sometimes I swear it's the highlight of my day)
I have noticed lately an increase in me just not wanting to be challenged. For instance, I get this newsletter every day with a word puzzle at the bottom and I no longer have any interest in doing it. I used to play Candy crush obsessively. I haven't played in several months, I got sick of it. I used to like doing jigsaw puzzles, but the one that I have currently been in the middle of which I have not worked on for months and months just became too challenging and I gave up from lack of motivation. Last week I tried to quit my exposure therapy. I didn't feel I was capable of making any more progress and it's like I'm not willing to be challenged anymore and feel uncomfortable.( long story short, I did not fully quit. Just going once a week now.)
And then there is boredom. I have no desire to leave the house, but I can't really say that it's because of my OCD anymore, it's like I just can't be bothered and there's nothing interesting enough to make me want to venture out. I have wound up with more time on my hands, which is more time to get bored. I go to bed earlier and earlier every night because by that point I am just sick of watching TV or reading and sleep is a relief so I can't wait to have that time where I am at peace.
Does anyone else ever have thoughts like these?