Is it even possible to recover when you're isolated?

[MentalFuneral]

I know lots of people say they have nobody, and theyre usually full of shit. But I really have nobody. I have zero friends. I have no family members I can talk to, not even casually about how my day went, or anything at all really. When I say I keep everything to myself, I really fucking mean it. My only companion is music, and my cat. I truly have no idea how I havent lost it completely, and ended up in a mental hospital by now. I dont even have online friends anymore. I feel like killing myself is the only realistic option outside of evading reality for the rest of my life. I feel like I'm being forced to kill myself because what the fuck else can you really do without a support system? What is even the point? All I do is abuse substances to get by anymore. I see no other way out.

 

[Mirrory Me]

Same. Why do you think it's hard to make friends irl? I usually had hard time connecting to them because I wasn't allowing it.

Also what kind of music does you and your cat like to listen to? My YouTube feed is currently taken over by cats.

ECT...

 

[MentalFuneral]

Same. Why do you think it's hard to make friends irl? I usually had hard time connecting to them because I wasn't allowing it.

Also what kind of music does you and your cat like to listen to? My YouTube feed is currently taken over by cats.

ECT...

Thanks for replying. Like you said yourself, I didn't allow people to get close to me when they were interested in me, because I was afraid. But Im also neurodivergent, Ive been diagnosed with several disorders since I was a small child. Most of the time I was the one being rejected by others.

Kitty doesnt have a preference for music, he just enjoys cuddling with me. Personally, my favorite band is nine inch nails.

 

[daley]

Thanks for replying. Like you said yourself, I didn't allow people to get close to me when they were interested in me, because I was afraid. But Im also neurodivergent, Ive been diagnosed with several disorders since I was a small child. Most of the time I was the one being rejected by others.

Kitty doesnt have a preference for music, he just enjoys cuddling with me. Personally, my favorite band is nine inch nails.

Aren't there any "clubs" for neurodivergent people so you can meeting with like-minded awkwardly people?
Not sure if that would go well, but that would be nice.

 

[MentalFuneral]

Aren't there any "clubs" for neurodivergent people so you can meeting with like-minded awkwardly people?
Not sure if that would go well, but that would be nice.

Maybe. I wouldnt know where to find that sort of thing. I live in a rural place, so I know the prognosis isnt great. Most of clubs at my school are religious or ethnic, and none of which I belong to.

 

[DepressedEgg]

Do you have any interests or passions that you can use to bond with people? I saw in the thread that you said you like Nine Inch Nails, maybe looking for people with similar music tastes? Or if you have a creative passion (writing, art, roleplaying) you could look to meet people who you can do that with?

 

[Lookingtoflyfree]

To answer your question, I don't think recovery is possible if you're isolated. I know that if I had at least one friend in my life I could count on I would feel so much better, but being neurodivergent has made that incredibly hard.

My dreams involve isolation - somehow being in a small house by a beach somewhere but it would be easier to spend the rest of my life alone with a dog painting than to try social contact again. I'm tired of bullies. I'm exhausted trying to have people in my life.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

I consider myself recovered (never thought I'd type that, tbh) without getting a girlfriend (which was what I thought was my main problem previously) and not due to making any friends. Meaning, my social situation is imo not significantly different from ten/five/two years ago. To the extent that it is different (doing a hobby where I'm engaged with people, volunteering, etc), I believe it's because of the changes rather than the other way around.

I do have a family which I'm very lucky and grateful to have. But that didn't change from when I was close to ending my life to now, my thinking is that a change in such a factor isn't necessary for recovery. Notable is that I recovered without getting a girlfriend, which I would think was either impossible or at least super unlikely previously, and was my perceived main source of suffering.

What I think worked for me was to start helping others/doing good deeds (donating to charity, trying to get a job/studying where you help people, etc), stopping bad behaviors (going vegan, being more careful with speech and action, etc), and a daily meditation habit (started with just 30 min per day and using a debt system where I had to do two sessions one day if I missed a day). The meditation I believe makes it easier to cope with the emotional pain/loneliness/etc (and even physical pain, for me I notice small amounts of pain are way less bothersome) and makes it easier to help others (less fear and greed, freed up from grip of emotional suffering and needing to escape less). The motivation for doing things for myself was simply too weak for me to live, I guess. I needed a stronger motivation like helping others and strengthening myself in order to help others (and help myself, as well).

I also would ask if there's any way you could get some positive social experiences going. Like volunteering or collaborating with others, playing games, or stuff like that? Even doing it online might be worth checking out. Otherwise, maybe even positive parasocial things like watching youtube (perhaps about meditation), etc, might do something?

 

[MentalFuneral]

Do you have any interests or passions that you can use to bond with people? I saw in the thread that you said you like Nine Inch Nails, maybe looking for people with similar music tastes? Or if you have a creative passion (writing, art, roleplaying) you could look to meet people who you can do that with?

I have many things im adept at and many interests. Thats never been my problem. I simply cannot connect with people on a fundamental level. I see people talking with eachother and hanging out in public and I just.. have no clue how that happens. People constantly praise and exalt me for my work, but thats it. I am what I create. I'm never a real person.

I consider myself recovered (never thought I'd type that, tbh) without getting a girlfriend (which was what I thought was my main problem previously) and not due to making any friends. Meaning, my social situation is imo not significantly different from ten/five/two years ago. To the extent that it is different (doing a hobby where I'm engaged with people, volunteering, etc), I believe it's because of the changes rather than the other way around.

I do have a family which I'm very lucky and grateful to have. But that didn't change from when I was close to ending my life to now, my thinking is that a change in such a factor isn't necessary for recovery. Notable is that I recovered without getting a girlfriend, which I would think was either impossible or at least super unlikely previously, and was my perceived main source of suffering.

What I think worked for me was to start helping others/doing good deeds (donating to charity, trying to get a job/studying where you help people, etc), stopping bad behaviors (going vegan, being more careful with speech and action, etc), and a daily meditation habit (started with just 30 min per day and using a debt system where I had to do two sessions one day if I missed a day). The meditation I believe makes it easier to cope with the emotional pain/loneliness/etc (and even physical pain, for me I notice small amounts of pain are way less bothersome) and makes it easier to help others (less fear and greed, freed up from grip of emotional suffering and needing to escape less). The motivation for doing things for myself was simply too weak for me to live, I guess. I needed a stronger motivation like helping others and strengthening myself in order to help others (and help myself, as well).

I also would ask if there's any way you could get some positive social experiences going. Like volunteering or collaborating with others, playing games, or stuff like that? Even doing it online might be worth checking out. Otherwise, maybe even positive parasocial things like watching youtube (perhaps about meditation), etc, might do something?

Thanks, this was insightful to read. Reading about how you made progress without a gf or friends gives me some hope. I try and go out and do things, but it doesn't really help me. Maybe helping out others would be more beneficial. I have been considering volunteering for ecological preservation groups in my free time, perhaps its worth a shot.

 

[TheOrangeEatsCreeps]

Thanks for replying. Like you said yourself, I didn't allow people to get close to me when they were interested in me, because I was afraid. But Im also neurodivergent, Ive been diagnosed with several disorders since I was a small child. Most of the time I was the one being rejected by others.

Kitty doesnt have a preference for music, he just enjoys cuddling with me. Personally, my favorite band is nine inch nails.

show your cat this! Trent Reznor used it as a reference for With Teeth. Hit my line if you want to talk industrial