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BurningLights

BurningLights

He killed himself with his own mind
Jul 2, 2018
709
Sorry about the long title, but yeah, whenever I have my daughter my daughter I play certain music in the background and what not, knowing that when I do eventually CTB, I will leave her the music of the artist (Joe strummer if anyone's wondering), knowing that she will have something to remember me by, and I hope that when she gets a bit older she actually start to appreciate the music as well, as it his music truly changed my life, and I hope 8t has even a tiny impact on her.
 
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lostinthedream

lostinthedream

Warlock
Sep 2, 2018
754
I find it incredibly beautiful... divine.. and compassionate... May your love echo through the music and through her life..
 
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BurningLights

BurningLights

He killed himself with his own mind
Jul 2, 2018
709
I find it incredibly beautiful... divine.. and compassionate... May your love echo through the music and through her life..
Oh wow, for some reason I really couldn't see it that way. Thank you :)
 
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Desperate_Soul

Desperate_Soul

I'll See You Guys On The Other Side Of The Rainbow
Aug 26, 2018
1,980
I don't think it's fucked up.

When someone I loved passed away, there was a certain song that stood out that was played at their funeral. This song plays on the radio too and so whenever I hear this song, I feel like they're trying to communicate to me in some way and it tells me that even if they're gone, they're still with me in spirit. Whenever I feel sad, I listen to the song and feel comforted as if they're there with me.
 
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BurningLights

BurningLights

He killed himself with his own mind
Jul 2, 2018
709
I don't think it's fucked up.

When someone I loved passed away, there was a certain song that stood out that was played at their funeral. This song plays on the radio too and so whenever I hear this song, I feel like they're trying to communicate to me in some way and it tells me that even if they're gone, they're still with me in spirit. Whenever I feel sad, I listen to the song and feel comforted as if they're there with me.
Like I said in my previous post, I never saw it in a positive way, the way you guys have made me see it has actually given me much comfort. Thank you :)
 
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ctoan

ctoan

Arcanist
Sep 30, 2018
437
hmmm not trying to be that guy but why dont you just stay around for a bit longer buddy...i mean for your daughter
 
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BurningLights

BurningLights

He killed himself with his own mind
Jul 2, 2018
709
hmmm not trying to be that guy but why dont you just stay around for a bit longer buddy...i mean for your daughter
Hey no worries man it's a fair point, you see, for a while, I really didn't care at all, already tried to CTB twice in the last 6 months, but I on a new antidepressant and I'm doing okay, so for now, I am putting it off, thinking I'll just go for as long as I can.
 
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V

Virgo

Arcanist
Oct 3, 2018
497
Yes

If you can do whatever is necessary to stay with your daughter at least till she graduates high school.
 
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BurningLights

BurningLights

He killed himself with his own mind
Jul 2, 2018
709
Yes

If you can do whatever is necessary to stay with your daughter at least till she graduates high school.
Honest, fair enough. Care to elaborate?
 
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V

Virgo

Arcanist
Oct 3, 2018
497
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Kogoruhn

Kogoruhn

Student
May 20, 2018
109
I don't think it's fucked up. One of the few things i miss from my dad is hearing with him some music with lights out when i was a boy. Years after i remembered that and wanted to hear them again so badly i asked him which ones were. Some Enigma songs and Spinetta
 
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longingforrelease

longingforrelease

Specialist
Oct 27, 2018
381
I wrestle with same issues. How to leave, make it look accidental so she won't suffer the added trauma of dealing with her daddy's suicide but also leave her with something that expresses to her how much I loved her and how much joy she brought me. It's been suggested I start journaling for that purpose so should I ctb, she could be given the journal. But I think the idea of a final song is lovely
 
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Sundayafternoon

Sundayafternoon

Cosmic panic
May 18, 2018
394
Your death will seriously affect her. It would drastically increase her risk of suicide.
Playing her the cd will just increase her emotional attachment to you, which will only make it harder for her.

I agree 100%. Nothing worse than not being able to listen to a pretty song because it makes you think of your dead parent.
 
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Sundayafternoon

Sundayafternoon

Cosmic panic
May 18, 2018
394
I wrestle with same issues. How to leave, make it look accidental so she won't suffer the added trauma of dealing with her daddy's suicide but also leave her with something that expresses to her how much I loved her and how much joy she brought me. It's been suggested I start journaling for that purpose so should I ctb, she could be given the journal. But I think the idea of a final song is lovely

If given the option, I'd prefer my parent's written thoughts over a song. Of course, it's your call. Much luck.
 
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Dani Paradox

Dani Paradox

Permanently Banned
Aug 17, 2018
981
Sorry about the long title, but yeah, whenever I have my daughter my daughter I play certain music in the background and what not, knowing that when I do eventually CTB, I will leave her the music of the artist (Joe strummer if anyone's wondering), knowing that she will have something to remember me by, and I hope that when she gets a bit older she actually start to appreciate the music as well, as it his music truly changed my life, and I hope 8t has even a tiny impact on her.
I think that's beautiful. Why do you feel like it's fucked up?
 
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Paloma

Paloma

Suicide doesn't kill people. Sadness kills them.
Nov 3, 2018
46
I'm somewhat doing the same with some loved ones. Giving out personal things (in a way that's not too obvious), leaving pictures, videos... I'm an awful person. I hate myself :(

So no, it's not messed up darling
Been doing the same with music.
 
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BurningLights

BurningLights

He killed himself with his own mind
Jul 2, 2018
709
I think that's beautiful. Why do you feel like it's fucked up?
I was in weird place then, but do still wonder, besides I've decided to leave her a few things in a small rucksack if and when shell ever want it. Along with a CD of course.
 
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BurningLights

BurningLights

He killed himself with his own mind
Jul 2, 2018
709
I'm somewhat doing the same with some loved ones. Giving out personal things (in a way that's not too obvious), leaving pictures, videos... I'm an awful person. I hate myself :(

So no, it's not messed up darling
Been doing the same with music.
Plwase don't hate yourself, I'm not sire of your position but I'm sure your doing it for three reasons that matter to you. To be honest, I'm quite excited to go, its allowed me rocket for of all my worries, i really don't fricking care. I have faith in NN method, and departure shall be even more sweet.
 
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