Discussion Is it ok lo tose virginity to a prostitute?

[Sadbanana]

I'm 23 male. I have light asperger(maybe, not confirmed but makes sence) and adhd, social anxiety. Also cptsd, because my parents broke up andlot of things in my childhood were awful. I'm sort of giving up on looking for girlfriend. I know girls can smell my psychological problems and don't find them attractive. I used to try to talk to as many as possible, because I had some hope it will help, but only thing it helped so far was getting heart broken and feeling like a complete loser. I know if I was able to do this strategy, maybe like couple more year, grinding and trying to prove myself to this dumb society instead of enjoying my life, it would eventually work maybe. I'm not able to tho, I'm very sensitive person and this is just more than I can handle, doing it makes me suicidial.

Now I'm kind of thinking is it all even worth it are women worth it. Not saying that they are bad or something. But are they worth it, for me to put in this much effort, becuase to me it is just completely fucked up. Most attractive woman just sit back and chose between many guys that aproach them and then judge them, instead of having to do literally anything, how where is the part it's fair? I want to spit on this whole "game", this is not what love is supposed to be.

I'm tired of being virgin, I want sex. Finding a prostitute that satisfy my standards isn't difficult. But I was idealistic my whole life, hoping I'll lose my virginity during some sort of wholesome long-term relationship, I'm also very romantic person, I'm afraid what if doing it like this will make me feel worse. And maybe it will make me feel better and help me relax a bit, realize things are not that serious, maybe it will actually help me to get through that barrier inside me and open up, maybe it's good to throw my idealism out a window.

Do you think this is a loser thing to do? If I ever have girlfirend after will I be able to tell her without, her finding me repulsive for doing it?

 

[Just_Another_Person]

You realize you objectify women and your discourse is full of misogyny? Good luck finding a girl thinking that way.

About the main question, "loser" has nothing to do with it. It's your decision. And assuming you get a gf in the future (again, good luck finding one with your discourse), unless she is a prude, super religious or conservative, she won't care.

 

[Aloneandinpain]

Constant rejection is definitely very painful to deal with. Each one takes away a little piece of our soul, dignity and well being. That's not to mention the massive amount of time it takes just to be in a position to chat with someone you like and to be in a position to be rejected. The loss isn't merely the rejection from that individual person, but also destroying all the effort it take to get there. I'm pretty sure enough rejections in a row with zero hint of success over a long enough period would be fatal, either causing CTB or simply a heart attack from stress, loneliness and heartbreak.

The key question to ask is if you're just looking for sex, or are you actually looking for sex with intimacy, love, romance and a connection?

I personally think going the sex worker route doesn't count, is the loser option and would make things worse for me. You indicated you're the sensitive type who is hurt by endless rejection so I expect you'd be the same.

I don't really know what the answer is, but I will say that it's definitely not dating apps if you're an average looking guy.

 

[WhiteRabbit]

And assuming you get a gf in the future (again, good luck finding one with your discourse), unless she is a prude, super religious or conservative, she won't care.

I don't necessarily think women are prudes for not wanting to date guys who see sex workers. Even if you do your research it can be hard know for sure that someone isn't being trafficked or abused in some way. Some women won't care but I think a lot will.

'm tired of being virgin, I want sex. Finding a prostitute that satisfy my standards isn't difficult. But I was idealistic my whole life, hoping I'll lose my virginity during some sort of wholesome long-term relationship, I'm also very romantic person, I'm afraid what if doing it like this will make me feel worse. And maybe it will make me feel better and help me relax a bit, realize things are not that serious, maybe it will actually help me to get through that barrier inside me and open up, maybe it's good to throw my idealism out a window.

You'll lose your V card but you probably won't get the validation you're seeking from paid encounter.

 

[Sadbanana]

Constant rejection is definitely very painful to deal with. Each one takes away a little piece of our soul, dignity and well being. That's not to mention the massive amount of time it takes just to be in a position to chat with someone you like and to be in a position to be rejected. The loss isn't merely the rejection from that individual person, but also destroying all the effort it take to get there. I'm pretty sure enough rejections in a row with zero hint of success over a long enough period would be fatal, either causing CTB or simply a heart attack from stress, loneliness and heartbreak.

The key question to ask is if you're just looking for sex, or are you actually looking for sex with intimacy, love, romance and a connection?

I personally think going the sex worker route doesn't count, is the loser option and would make things worse for me. You indicated you're the sensitive type who is hurt by endless rejection so I expect you'd be the same.

I don't really know what the answer is, but I will say that it's definitely not dating apps if you're an average looking guy.

You are right it hurts a lot. I tried tinder and I look fairly ok, but like almost every match ended with either her ghosting me or me being too fed up with the minimal effort they put into responses. One time I got really attached to one girl and we were texting like for over month and it was great becuase she didn't expect me to hold the conversation on my shoulders, actually I sometimes felt shy but she managed to relax me and be more myself. I've never seen her in person, but I knew whatever she really looks like I'll accept her. The day before we should've met irl she ghosted me. After long time trying to contact her she said she likes someone else.

I would probably even prefer romantic relationship without much sex, just a cute and wholesome stuff over meaningless sex.

On the other hand in past I did extreme mistakes. I actually rejected some girls hitting on me, back then I found it superficial and didn't like it. They were like 9/10, not that it metters, I was around 14 at the time, but I know if I wasn't such idialistic moron, now I wouldn't have issue finding a girlfriend with that experience.

That's why I'm considering this, maybe the experience I'll get will help me, despite it being not real.

 

[amnesia999]

Finding a prostitute that satisfy my standards isn't difficult. But I was idealistic my whole life, hoping I'll lose my virginity during some sort of wholesome long-term relationship,

Oh, get over yourself.

Do you think this is a loser thing to do?

No. Protect yourself (e.g. wear a condom and ask about STDs) then go have a good time.

If I ever have girlfirend after will I be able to tell her without, her finding me repulsive for doing it?

No, she won't find you repulsive if you tell her. If she does, you find another girlfriend who doesn't.

 

[Sadbanana]

Oh, get over yourself.


No. Protect yourself (e.g. wear a condom and ask about STDs) then go have a good time.


No, she won't find you repulsive if you tell her. If she does, you find another girlfriend who doesn't.

Thank you. Love your aswers. You are sort of like the inner voice, that doesn't want me to kill myself

 

[-nobodyknows-]

I don't really understand why you would want to, but there's nothing really wrong with it I guess

 

[pyx]

nothing wrong with it, but it won't solve your problems. but i understand completely, and it's very natural to feel how you do. don't understand why others are so compelled to disparage you on this account

 

[Just_Another_Person]

I really don't expect someone like you to understand. I'm not a mysogynist and if you see it in my words it's probably becuase you want to. If I had a gf I would treat her right. Sorry, but if you can't relate maybe don't respond, just accept there are things your emotional empathy is not capable of understanding.

I tried to give you a tip, but since you want,, let's play :)

I know girls can smell my psychological problems and don't find them attractive

Yes, they say it smell like avocado. And obviously women have perfect mental health, never suffering from it. They also are monsters incapable of having understanding and caring for people who suffer psychological problems.

I used to try to talk to as many as possible,

Sure shooting everywhere is a nice thing to do, specially for someone... how did you define yourself? Oh, it is "romantic person" right?

I know if I was able to do this strategy, maybe like couple more year, grinding and trying to prove myself to this dumb society instead of enjoying my life, it would eventually work maybe.

Because if what you are doing results in you "losing" keeping the same strategy eventually will work. How could I not think that?

I'm not able to tho, I'm very sensitive person and this is just more than I can handle, doing it makes me suicidial.

As much as I want to give an answer to this, per forum rules I can't.

Now I'm kind of thinking is it all even worth it are women worth it. [...] But are they worth it, for me to put in this much effort, becuase to me it is just completely fucked up

Women are not objects for you to think if they are "worth or not". If you think some woman will magically fall on your lap and love you forever, you are completely delusional, how someone is supposed to fall for you if you don't even want to make effort? Btw, relationships require work, have ups and downs so if you don't think it is "worth" trying make someone have interest in you, no way you can handle a relationship.

Not saying that they are bad or something

Are you sure you are not saying that? Let's look what you say next.

Most attractive woman just sit back and chose between many guys that aproach them and then judge them, instead of having to do literally anything, how where is the part it's fair? I want to spit on this whole "game", this is not what love is supposed to be.

Do you think women like having many man that "approaching" them? Quite the opposite, the big majority are uninteresting, rude and list goes on. I also noticed you said "attractive women", clearly indicating you wouldn't settle for an "unattractive" one. Why should they should settle for you? And women who don't fit the "beauty standard" stereotype have the same problems dating as men that don't fit the same stereotype. Actually it is worse, but this topic alone would take too much time to discuss and I have to cook dinner. Oh, and sure a wise and experienced guy like you know what love is right? What a joke.

But I was idealistic my whole life, hoping I'll lose my virginity during some sort of wholesome long-term relationship, I'm also very romantic person,

Treating women the way you do and "trying" like you said in this post, you will never get it.

Now back to your second post

I really don't expect someone like you to understand. I'm not a mysogynist and if you see it in my words it's probably becuase you want to. If I had a gf I would treat her right. Sorry, but if you can't relate maybe don't respond, just accept there are things your emotional empathy is not capable of understanding.

Poor you, misunderstood little boy. "I am not misogynist [...] If I had a gf I would treat her right" HAHAHAHAHA.

Sorry, but if you can't relate maybe don't respond, just accept there are things your emotional empathy is not capable of understanding.

Emotional empathy? For you? You don't respect women yet say this. ZZZZZ. I don't even feel pity for you.

@WhiteRabbit See or saw? I assumed it would be a one time thing.

 

[pyx]

Yes, they say it smell like avocado. And obviously women have perfect mental health, never suffering from it. They also are monsters incapable of having understanding and caring for people who suffer psychological problems.

clearly he meant only psychological issues which would deter potential mates. and yet you claim that an internalized misogyny is something which can be detected. both can manifest organically in a social setting, but clearly one is prior the other; substantive views require, not just an inference on the part of an interlocutor, but a material explication of the speaker's views, or some material attribution by an interlocutor indicating that the speaker holds them; whereas if you lack socially desirable qualities due to your mental health, this will obviously bleed into most of your interactions with people

Because if what you are doing results in you "losing" keeping the same strategy eventually will work. How could I not think that?

i mean, there's no need to disparage him on this point. some people can naturally obtain results from shooting blindly, and the burden of refining the method of execution shouldn't fall on an individual; to be integrated into society is something of a basic liberty

Women are not objects for you to think if they are "worth or not". If you think some woman will magically fall on your lap and love you forever, you are completely delusional, how someone is supposed to fall for you if you don't even want to make effort? Btw, relationships require work, have ups and downs so if you don't think it is "worth" trying make someone have interest in you, no way you can handle a relationship.

he clearly has made an effort, though. if you are of the opinion that he's not fit to enter into a relationship, fine. more proof that women are the ones who regulate who can and cannot enter into relationships through their own standards of adequacy. the process of finding a partner obviously takes precedence over objectifying and depersonalizing women so as to reduce them purely to their reproductive value (which is problematic, but uncommon from my experience), because it indicates some degree of social competency which is required for integrating into communities which are local to you

Do you think women like having many man that "approaching" them? Quite the opposite, the big majority are uninteresting, rude and list goes on. I also noticed you said "attractive women", clearly indicating you wouldn't settle for an "unattractive" one. Why should they should settle for you? And women who don't fit the "beauty standard" stereotype have the same problems dating as men that don't fit the same stereotype. Actually it is worse, but this topic alone would take too much time to discuss and I have to cook dinner. Oh, and sure a wise and experienced guy like you know what love is right? What a joke.

i mean, obviously an abstraction of averages and accrued experiences offers more value in discourse than unique instances. all you need to do is go to any space where sexual competition occurs locally, like a club. you would soon find that the claim 'women do not like having men approach them' is blatantly false, even if you are speaking from your own personal experience. and no, the beauty standard does not bar women who don't meet the criteria from participating, since that isn't how it works in the first place; it's not two-way. women have inherently more value in this arena than men, and there isn't a conventional threshold which they need to meet, since women are locuses of value in these spaces who have the capacity to selectively eliminate those who lack appropriate fitness indicators; men struggle in this capacity only by virtue of possessing disqualifying attributes which are regulated and enforced by both sexes, and these can often seem insurmountable

what is this drivel? why do you feel so compelled to treat OP's issues as inane and trivial? it's equivalent to a woman talking about her problems on this forum, only for men to begin bombarding the reply section with their own little unsolicited morsels of advice and rhetoric

 

[Sadbanana]

I tried to give you a tip, but since you want,, let's play :)


Yes, they say it smell like avocado. And obviously women have perfect mental health, never suffering from it. They also are monsters incapable of having understanding and caring for people who suffer psychological problems.


Sure shooting everywhere is a nice thing to do, specially for someone... how did you define yourself? Oh, it is "romantic person" right?



Because if what you are doing results in you "losing" keeping the same strategy eventually will work. How could I not think that?


As much as I want to give an answer to this, per forum rules I can't.


Women are not objects for you to think if they are "worth or not". If you think some woman will magically fall on your lap and love you forever, you are completely delusional, how someone is supposed to fall for you if you don't even want to make effort? Btw, relationships require work, have ups and downs so if you don't think it is "worth" trying make someone have interest in you, no way you can handle a relationship.


Are you sure you are not saying that? Let's look what you say next.


Do you think women like having many man that "approaching" them? Quite the opposite, the big majority are uninteresting, rude and list goes on. I also noticed you said "attractive women", clearly indicating you wouldn't settle for an "unattractive" one. Why should they should settle for you? And women who don't fit the "beauty standard" stereotype have the same problems dating as men that don't fit the same stereotype. Actually it is worse, but this topic alone would take too much time to discuss and I have to cook dinner. Oh, and sure a wise and experienced guy like you know what love is right? What a joke.


Treating women the way you do and "trying" like you said in this post, you will never get it.

Now back to your second post


Poor you, misunderstood little boy. "I am not misogynist [...] If I had a gf I would treat her right" HAHAHAHAHA.


Emotional empathy? For you? You don't respect women yet say this. ZZZZZ. I don't even feel pity for you.

@WhiteRabbit See or saw? I assumed it would be a one time thing.

I deleted the second comment because I felt wrong about it. But now I see you really are this kind of person. You are probably still a child so I will ignore the fact you act like some sort of highschool bully. And I know you are probably just projecting, or just enjoying making fun of others because someone hurt you. Make me an object of your hatred if it makes you feel better.

For your information I don't act in front of girls the way I do here, here I'm being honest and open, I'm not going around saying stuff like that to them, you dummy xd. I'm not that stupid.

I hope most girls don't have issues like you, it that case would probably be better to just stay single, not saying you are a bad person. I hope you solve whatever bad is going on in your life.

 

[Aloneandinpain]

I tried to give you a tip, but since you want,, let's play :)


Yes, they say it smell like avocado. And obviously women have perfect mental health, never suffering from it. They also are monsters incapable of having understanding and caring for people who suffer psychological problems.


Sure shooting everywhere is a nice thing to do, specially for someone... how did you define yourself? Oh, it is "romantic person" right?



Because if what you are doing results in you "losing" keeping the same strategy eventually will work. How could I not think that?


As much as I want to give an answer to this, per forum rules I can't.


Women are not objects for you to think if they are "worth or not". If you think some woman will magically fall on your lap and love you forever, you are completely delusional, how someone is supposed to fall for you if you don't even want to make effort? Btw, relationships require work, have ups and downs so if you don't think it is "worth" trying make someone have interest in you, no way you can handle a relationship.


Are you sure you are not saying that? Let's look what you say next.


Do you think women like having many man that "approaching" them? Quite the opposite, the big majority are uninteresting, rude and list goes on. I also noticed you said "attractive women", clearly indicating you wouldn't settle for an "unattractive" one. Why should they should settle for you? And women who don't fit the "beauty standard" stereotype have the same problems dating as men that don't fit the same stereotype. Actually it is worse, but this topic alone would take too much time to discuss and I have to cook dinner. Oh, and sure a wise and experienced guy like you know what love is right? What a joke.


Treating women the way you do and "trying" like you said in this post, you will never get it.

Now back to your second post


Poor you, misunderstood little boy. "I am not misogynist [...] If I had a gf I would treat her right" HAHAHAHAHA.


Emotional empathy? For you? You don't respect women yet say this. ZZZZZ. I don't even feel pity for you.

@WhiteRabbit See or saw? I assumed it would be a one time thing.

You really have absolutely no clue what dating is like for average men.

Sure, women have issues going through all their options to learn and figure out which ones are assholes, but must guys don't even have options or choices.

I saw women using dating apps and was blown away just how their existence was in a different universe to mine. They didn't even click on the "suggested" tab to swipe on profiles, they simply clicked on the"likes" tab and didn't she's going through the guys who liked them, and thus matching every time they swiped right. Meanwhile I got one match each YEAR.

Most women are all going after the top 10% of guys and are even happy to share them, with a particular tendency to go after guys who are already taken. There's even the phenomenon of women being attracted to criminals and serial killers .

I look average in a good day and I'm essentially invisible to most women. Sure women experience invisibility too, but only once they get beyond 55 or so, not for their entire lives.

 

[Sadbanana]

You really have absolutely no clue what dating is like for average men.

Sure, women have issues going through all their options to learn and figure out which ones are assholes, but must guys don't even have options or choices.

I saw women using dating apps and was blown away just how their existence was in a different universe to mine. They didn't even click on the "suggested" tab to swipe on profiles, they simply clicked on the"likes" tab and didn't she's going through the guys who liked them, and thus matching every time they swiped right. Meanwhile I got one match each YEAR.

Most women are all going after the top 10% of guys and are even happy to share them, with a particular tendency to go after guys who are already taken. There's even the phenomenon of women being attracted to criminals and serial killers .

I look average in a good day and I'm essentially invisible to most women. Sure women experience invisibility too, but only once they get beyond 55 or so, not for their entire lives.

Yes it thought. I don't understand why so many people like to act it isn't the case and invalidate our experience.

Don't worry if you aren't getting maches. It happened to me first time I used tinder, I got like 2. Then I got better photos and new account and realized that like one in a hundred or at best 50 maches is actually a lovely girl. Most of them, just expect you to entertain them, never even planing to persue any relationship with you. Tinder is a scam and most women are there just to solve their issues.

 

[Aloneandinpain]

Yes it thought. I don't understand why so many people like to act it isn't the case and invalidate our experience.

Don't worry if you aren't getting maches. It happened to me first time I used tinder, I got like 2. Then I got better photos and new account and realized that like one in a hundred or at best 50 maches is actually a lovely girl. Most of them, just expect you to entertain them, never even planing to persue any relationship with you. Tinder is a scam and most women are there just to solve their issues.

I did everything to improve my dating profile but still didn't achieve anything except for massive damage to my self esteem. I even got one company to send all my account data to check to see if there was an error and my profile wasn't been shown, but it turned out that 99.7% of women were swiping left on me (and obviously 99% of the remaining 0.3% were very unattractive or scammers).

I deleted all the apps, I would have CTB for sure by now if I was still using them.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

Everyone has their own personal line in the sand as far as what's acceptable when it comes to sex. If you find this an okay thing to do, ie. it doesn't bother you on a fundamental level and you have no qualms about taking a shortcut of sorts, then do what you have to do. It's probably not smart to think about it from anyone else's perspective or try to anticipate how a hypothetical future girlfriend will judge you for it. You're the only one who really matters in this equation, and all you have is the here and now.

With that said, this has never seriously occurred to me, even when I've been lonely. That's not to say I have super high standards or anything. I just feel like sex in and of itself isn't that unique (to me, it's about the person I want to do it with). I also want the validation associated with someone giving themselves to me sexually, and if I were to pay for it, it would defeat the purpose.

 

[Just_Another_Person]

@lamargue If you were gonna use fallacies you could have said in the begging so I wouldn't have to read all that. As for your questions, as I said I just gave OP a tip and answered, he went all defensive so I just proved my points

@Sadbanana No, you deleted your post after my post. At least own your actions instead of just wanting to play the victim. And sure, I must be the child here since I am arguing my points and not someone 23yo that acts like a 13yo saying trying to change the focus to me because can't think for himself. Btw, this:

For your information I don't act in front of girls the way I do here, here I'm being honest and open, I'm not going around saying stuff like that to them, you dummy xd. I'm not that stupid.

You just confessed you act fake and try to deceive women to get laid.

I'm calling out your juvenile and misogynistic "philosophy" and you prove another point by calling me haterful/crazy. Typical incel. If there was any doubt about you being an incel, your next confirms:

most women are there just to solve their issues.

Just take Angst Filled Fuck Up's advice, you are not gonna find one better.


@Aloneandinpain

Most women are all going after the top 10% of guys and are even happy to share them, with a particular tendency to go after guys who are already taken. There's even the phenomenon of women being attracted to criminals and serial killers .

I can't even...


Seriously, you three should make a trouple. Way easier than any woman have interest in any of you, women won't be bothered by you AND y'all will probably be happy, specially since you can massage each other egos frequently.

 

[pyx]

@lamargue If you were gonna use fallacies you could have said in the begging so I wouldn't have to read all that. As for your questions, as I said I just gave OP a tip and answered, he went all defensive so I just proved my points

fallacies? where? is that a default response to feeling intellectually insecure in your position? just seems that you're only capable of ad hominen attacks, rather than providing anything constructive to OP. if you really wanted to help (which obviously wasn't your intent), you wouldn't feel the need to berate him

also, i don't think i would qualify as an incel by any meaningful use of the term. do you just like to flagrantly throw it around?

 

[Aloneandinpain]

@lamargue If you were gonna use fallacies you could have said in the begging so I wouldn't have to read all that. As for your questions, as I said I just gave OP a tip and answered, he went all defensive so I just proved my points

@Sadbanana No, you deleted your post after my post. At least own your actions instead of just wanting to play the victim. And sure, I must be the child here since I am arguing my points and not someone 23yo that acts like a 13yo saying trying to change the focus to me because can't think for himself. Btw, this:


You just confessed you act fake and try to deceive women to get laid.

I'm calling out your juvenile and misogynistic "philosophy" and you prove another point by calling me haterful/crazy. Typical incel. If there was any doubt about you being an incel, your next confirms:

Just take Angst Filled Fuck Up's advice, you are not gonna find one better.


@Aloneandinpain


I can't even...


Seriously, you three should make a trouple. Way easier than any woman have interest in any of you, women won't be bothered by you AND y'all will probably be happy, specially since you can massage each other egos frequently.

Masssging egos? Seriously?

We've simply failed at dating, understand how awful it can be for average guys and therefore can relate and help each other (or at least know what doesn't work).

OP certainly doesn't have much of an ego and my posts have whatever the opposite of an ego is, and that's particularly the case when it comes to this topic.

 

[Just_Another_Person]

fallacies? where? is that a default response to feeling intellectually insecure in your position? just seems that you're only capable of ad hominen attacks, rather than providing anything constructive to OP. if you really wanted to help (which obviously wasn't your intent), you wouldn't feel the need to berate him

...in your entire post? And I don't think you know what argumentum ad hominem is, otherwise you wouldn't do one while accusing someone of doing one

About being constructive/help OP, I did. My first post.

You realize you objectify women and your discourse is full of misogyny? Good luck finding a girl thinking that way.

About the main question, "loser" has nothing to do with it. It's your decision. And assuming you get a gf in the future (again, good luck finding one with your discourse), unless she is a prude, super religious or conservative, she won't care.

I appointed a lack in his judgment and implied he would need to change that if he wanted to find a girl. In the second paragraph I answered the main question saying it isn't "a loser thing", it was his decision and a if he get a gf (after reevaluating himself) most probably (could be exceptions) she wouldn't care.
Yet he preferred go all victim "you don't understand", "if you don't have empathy shut up" and even deleted his post later.

@Aloneandinpain If you really want to help each other stop blaming women.
And about ego, I just remembered from where I know you, the transphobic with his crazy ideas about breasts amputation Sorry (not really) but you can't say your posts don't contain ego after saying shit like that and that women like criminals and taken men.

It is not possible to take this thread serious anymore lol

 

[LondonVillie]

You realize you objectify women and your discourse is full of misogyny? Good luck finding a girl thinking that way.

No man is struggling to date, because they "objectify" women lol

I'm tired of being virgin, I want sex. Finding a prostitute that satisfy my standards isn't difficult. But I was idealistic my whole life, hoping I'll lose my virginity during some sort of wholesome long-term relationship, I'm also very romantic person, I'm afraid what if doing it like this will make me feel worse.

Well you need to kill them toughts, cause even if you finally find a potential girl interested in you she's gonna be completely turned off by the fact you're a virgin at your age and even if not then she'll use this fact to her advantage. Getting over it with a hooker is the right thing to do at your age ;)

 

[pyx]

...in your entire post? And I don't think you know what argumentum ad hominem is, otherwise you wouldn't do one while accusing someone of doing one

About being constructive/help OP, I did. My first post.

You realize you objectify women and your discourse is full of misogyny? Good luck finding a girl thinking that way.

About the main question, "loser" has nothing to do with it. It's your decision. And assuming you get a gf in the future (again, good luck finding one with your discourse), unless she is a prude, super religious or conservative, she won't care.

if by constructive you mean your inflammatory nonadvice which makes no attempt whatsoever to undertstand OP, instead projecting your own experiences onto him and further barraging his views with an armada of assumptions which seek to trivialize his pain, then yeah, alright. clearly you were just itching for a way to berate him needlessly

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

That's purely for you to decide.

As for me, even though I'm a 30 year old virgin myself I know I can't consider this option because I know I'd fuck it up somehow by either getting an STD even through protection or maybe getting scammed and mugged like what happened recently to someone in my neighborhood or maybe I get caught in some sting operation and jailed because prostitution is illegal or maybe some other thing I haven't thought of yet happens.

Also I don't even have enough money to convince someone to willingly have sex with me. With how repulsive and off putting I am I bet I'd need a minimum of 50 million US dollars just to be allowed to look at a woman.

 

[Sadbanana]

@lamargue If you were gonna use fallacies you could have said in the begging so I wouldn't have to read all that. As for your questions, as I said I just gave OP a tip and answered, he went all defensive so I just proved my points

@Sadbanana No, you deleted your post after my post. At least own your actions instead of just wanting to play the victim. And sure, I must be the child here since I am arguing my points and not someone 23yo that acts like a 13yo saying trying to change the focus to me because can't think for himself. Btw, this:


You just confessed you act fake and try to deceive women to get laid.

I'm calling out your juvenile and misogynistic "philosophy" and you prove another point by calling me haterful/crazy. Typical incel. If there was any doubt about you being an incel, your next confirms:

Just take Angst Filled Fuck Up's advice, you are not gonna find one better.


@Aloneandinpain


I can't even...


Seriously, you three should make a trouple. Way easier than any woman have interest in any of you, women won't be bothered by you AND y'all will probably be happy, specially since you can massage each other egos frequently.

It seems more like you are a mysandrist, calling me mysogynist just for not hating myslef enoug and I don't identify whith incel ideology at all, maybe you just want me to be an incel so you can use it to blame all the world problems on me. I don't even take blackpill seriously, because social skills are just as important as looks for guys, my failure is prime example that looks aren't all. All I said is I tried my best and pushed myself and that it isn't fair and in this regard women have it way easier. If it wasn't case someone like you, with their mysandry and toxic personality would be just as lonely as me.

I said most women on "tinder" are just because it makes them feel important. Not that all women are like that. Why would I hate women. There are so many amazing, caring women in the world. Maybe I only don't like people like you, that get their pleasure out of others suffering and don't act like that's not a case. If there wasn't for people like you I wouldn't have cptsd.

What is your advice, to kill myself? I bet that's what you would write if you could. I know you have issues, but at least don't use them like an excuse to spread hate and belittle others.

I know you probably don't have it easy. Sorry if I was too agressive in my answer. I know it is not your fault you act like that and you are just trying to call for help that way, because nothing else worked. There is probably a good person somewhere inside you. But I still stand behind all I said.

...in your entire post? And I don't think you know what argumentum ad hominem is, otherwise you wouldn't do one while accusing someone of doing one

About being constructive/help OP, I did. My first post.


I appointed a lack in his judgment and implied he would need to change that if he wanted to find a girl. In the second paragraph I answered the main question saying it isn't "a loser thing", it was his decision and a if he get a gf (after reevaluating himself) most probably (could be exceptions) she wouldn't care.
Yet he preferred go all victim "you don't understand", "if you don't have empathy shut up" and even deleted his post later.

@Aloneandinpain If you really want to help each other stop blaming women.
And about ego, I just remembered from where I know you, the transphobic with his crazy ideas about breasts amputation Sorry (not really) but you can't say your posts don't contain ego after saying shit like that and that women like criminals and taken men.

It is not possible to take this thread serious anymore lol

If you can't take this thread seriously, have you consodered leaving? I appreciate your advice, but don't act like you said something life changing. Plus you said it in the most hauthy way possible. What about rest of advice "don't be a mysogynist". I belive you use that word for everyone you don't like, right?

 

[amnesia999]

Thank you. Love your aswers. You are sort of like the inner voice, that doesn't want me to kill myself

Don't mean to be unsympathetic, but when you say...

I'm tired of being virgin, I want sex. Finding a prostitute that satisfy my standards isn't difficult. But I was idealistic my whole life, hoping I'll lose my virginity during some sort of wholesome long-term relationship,

...it reminds me of that old Rolling Stones song, "You can't always get what you want \ But if you try sometimes \ Well, you just might find \ You get what you need". You might find a "wholesome long-term relationship" or you might not, but if you want to get laid, then it sounds like you know what to do.

 

[covwillgo]

in the slim chance of the ONE coming along i wouldnt, you can only determine that for yourself depending on how far youve come. if i were to ctb for sure after a certain designated time id go full degenerate and experience sex in a careless animalistic way, prostitutes, club hookups, dating apps (if youre attractive enough) etc.

if you cant have passion for if you find youre lifelong partner then go all out, might as well before youre dead and its a natural human experience

You realize you objectify women and your discourse is full of misogyny? Good luck finding a girl thinking that way.

dont cope. this site should have pride in providing the harsh lonely truth no matter how intimately damaging.

sex is more than a bodily interaction, youre love decreases next time around and future relationships wont be as special or wholesome if youve had this exchange with other people before. youre complete love and trust threshhold dies out

and like he cares if youre attempting to passive-aggresive insult his "mindset" or "ability to attract girl!" lol, were on a suicide forum.

figuratively youre soul decays with more failed relationships/fruitless sex. its not misogony, or slut shaming, its basic psychology that you shouldnt avoid and completely throw out the window to make urself feel more flawless. face the harsh truth, ull be liberated

I'm calling out your juvenile and misogynistic "philosophy" and you prove another point by calling me haterful/crazy. Typical incel. If there was any doubt about you being an incel, your next confirms:

incel incel incel incel lol normie insults in a community full of suicidal traumatized people. 90% of male users on here are incels to some degree whether theyd admit it or not.

sounds like youre mad and toxic about how you made degenerate mistakes that still haunt you and get you to ignore their irredeemable never-changing nature. too bad lol truth sets you free

 

[alienfreak]

I was 30 when I had sex for the first time. So I went through a lot of mental struggle and can understand. I used to think it would never happen for me. For me personally I would never want to be with a prostitute and i hate the idea of losing virginity to one. Sex with someone that you actually care about it is life-changing because it creates a special kind of intimacy. Just having the physical sensations alone with a prostitute wouldn't be the same at all, so you would learn little to nothing and probably just feel regret and disappointment or worse. But all this applies if you are like me, and i'm not normal. Normal people seem to enjoy having sex with random strangers from apps or that they met at a bar, and maybe you are like that too, I don't know.

 

[amnesia999]

community full of suicidal traumatized people.

That's the other thing. OP @Sadbanana wants to "save it" for a long-term, loving relationship, but here they are on a forum called "Sanctioned Suicide." Is he planning on CTB or is he planning on staying alive long enough to experience a long-term relationship? It seems to me that what would bother a girl is knowing that you were actively planning on CTB, way, way more than it would to know that your first time was with a sex worker.

 

[Deleted member 8119]

Even if you do your research it can be hard know for sure that someone isn't being trafficked or abused in some way.

Thank you for caring. Too few people mention this.

I don't it's a good idea: it won't help to feel you met social expectations, but it will feel empty and if you find an interested girl, it won't be the same anymore because you threw your only first chance. Based on your posts, this urge is usually a need to feel valid and overcome a challenge. You aren't getting any of this.

Apart of that it isn't very ethical.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Look, I might be a rude bitch but I feel like some of your responses are a kind of rude and aren't very good...

Yes, they say it smell like avocado. And obviously women have perfect mental health, never suffering from it. They also are monsters incapable of having understanding and caring for people who suffer psychological problems.

They never implied that women don't have their own psych issues to deal with or that they are uncaring monsters, just that they think that their poor mental health has likely contributed in their issues with finding a partner. That's an understandable as most people in general do not want to get with those who have a lot of baggage.

Sure shooting everywhere is a nice thing to do, specially for someone... how did you define yourself? Oh, it is "romantic person" right?

What a fucking weird thing to come after them for. They just said they used to try and talk to as many women in possible, probably because that is just an aspect in trying to find a partner. You kind of have to start somewhere. I mean, I found my bf because I was spending my time interacting a lot with different men online. I don't see how that statement is offensive.

As much as I want to give an answer to this, per forum rules I can't.

What is that supposed to mean? Is this supposed to be your way of implying what I think you are implying, because if so that is going too fucking far.

Women are not objects for you to think if they are "worth or not". If you think some woman will magically fall on your lap and love you forever, you are completely delusional, how someone is supposed to fall for you if you don't even want to make effort? Btw, relationships require work, have ups and downs so if you don't think it is "worth" trying make someone have interest in you, no way you can handle a relationship.

While I understand that the way how they phrased it isn't great, I'm pretty sure what they mean by "women being worth it or not" is more in reference to whether or not finding a partner is worth it or not. They are likely trying to communicate that they don't know about if their quest to find romance is truly worth their time in continuing on or not rather than it being them trying to imply that they view women as objects. The phrasing of it is awkward, but it is not enough to draw definitive conclusions on whether or no they view us as objects.


This isn't to say that I completely disagree with you. @Sadbanana , you do clearly have some misogynistic views that you should really work on. This part of your now deleted post really highlights this:

Most attractive woman just sit back and chose between many guys that aproach them and then judge them, instead of having to do literally anything, how where is the part it's fair? I want to spit on this whole "game", this is not what love is supposed to be.

Women do not tend to like guys who happen to have the whole "uh, women have it so easy" type mentality, especially with how dismissive it is towards the struggles that women go through. Along with that, this statement easily applies in the reverse. You could argue that attractive men just need to approach and hit on a woman he likes and he'll probably get with her without much effort, but we rarely see this being brought up. Instead, when talking about issues with finding a partner, it's always "ugh, women have it easy". This ends up highlighting some clear biases you have that you should work on...