Is it okay for me to ctb?

[skylar160]

Hello, I was in a psych hospital a week for my suicidal ideation. When I was admitted, the doctor straight up asked me "Do you believe that suicide is morally wrong?" I told them that I didn't know but that it wasn't really a good thing. But now I take that back and believe that you have the right to do what you want with your body and your life. It's selfish for family members to not respect that.

I posted here before saying that I was charged with a crime I didn't commit. I thought that my case would be easily dismissed but the legal system is more complicated than that. It's really not going in the direction I don't want it to. I'm not looking for legal advice so I won't answer questions pertaining to my case. Even before this case, I was already struggling with depression. This just made it much worse.

I'm going to start really planning my ctb method. Unless if a miracle happens, I'm going to do it. Even if the case is dismissed, the damage this has done to me is irreparable. Right now I'm thinking about full suspension. There's a bridge with a light pole I could tie a rope around. Are there any guides to full suspension? I feel like it's the quickest and most simple method to do. What do you think? I hope I can find the peace I deserve.

 

[FuneralCry]

I just wish for peace as well, it's so cruel to me how there's all this suffering in existing but anyway I hope you find the peace you are looking for.

 

[Odwin]

Suicide is only wrong if there is more context. Standing alone nothing is wrong.

Like if we describe something is "normal" always depends on alot of things.

More favorite quote about normality is from the old Adams Family movie:
"What normal is for the spider is chaos for the fly."

 

[human909]

I just wish for peace as well, it's so cruel to me how there's all this suffering in existing but anyway I hope you find the peace you are looking for.

Exactly there is so much pain and suffering I don't get how they can still let us live.

 

[AjolaX]

Answering to the title of your post and not going into the details of your circumstances:
My personal belief (which should be quite reasonable? Feel free to share if you have a different view) is that catching the bus is always 'okay' in the sense of being an option that should be accessible for anyone without being judged, no matter the circumstances.
That being said, something being 'okay' or being a reasonable option doesn't automatically make it the best or most reasonable choice to make in the same way taking a literal bus isn't always the best choice of transportation depending on where you want to go in your life. In fact it's not even the best mode of transportation in most cases out there...

Projecting that back onto your personal situation I'd reassure you that suicidal ideation and even suicide on there own definitely aren't inherently 'morally wrong' on there own. It's your own decision to make where you want to go in your life and others shouldn't be in the position to invalidate those choices! That being said there is often more then one route to go to a specific location and looking into your posts it might be worth spending more time considering all those options before jumping to conclusions, maybe and just maybe you're happily willing to travel by ship or plane later on... (Which certainly doesn't mean at all I don't value the effort you've already put into that, and I'm sure you did put in a hell of it! And I'm also acknowledging there's not always another way to reach your destination, just make sure to be comfortable with your final decisions and take as much time as you need)
I certainly wish you a lot of energy and peace going forward into the future, following whichever way you choose to follow I hope I could reassure you that neither way is "morally wrong" and give you some positive energy to get through your day a little more light hearted...

As always feel free to keep us updated about your case, your mental health concerns, your life-decisions, your well-being and any other topic you like/comes to your head! Always happy to hear back from you ; )
Kind regards, AjolaX!

 

[kitia973]

Agreed. Ending your suffering isn't selfish. The act of trying to force others to continuously suffer because of one's own personal desires is selfish.

 

[Kanashii]

In your case as well I can see why one would want to. Family shouldn't necessarily say it's a good thing if you want to CTB but they should in no way stop you if you have come to that choice your own.

Everyone decides something for themselves, not someone else.

The legal system is a cruel thing in this world as it's not as supportive as it makes out to be. It also wants to just charge and use people who really are innocent, and they just don't care as that puts another "criminal" in jail in the eyes of the public who don't know the true situation.

I hope you find peace no matter what you decide on. <3

Exactly there is so much pain and suffering I don't get how they can still let us live.

The worst thing is... it's the ones in power and those in authority that makes us suffer. They're meant to protect us, but they do very little of that.

 

[Forever Sleep]

The 'morally wrong' argument really annoys me. The way I see it is: Knowingly acting in a way that inflicts pain or discomfort on another person or sentient being is morally wrong. So- yes- suicide is morally wrong in that context.

HOWEVER- so are an awful lot of other things in life that as a general population, we feel ok with doing. Consuming and using animal products is morally wrong. Birth itself I would argue inevitably brings some suffering (along with joy hopefully,) so- that is morally wrong too in some sense.

If the morally correct thing is to prevent others suffering the pain of mourning dead loved ones, our parents shouldn't have brought us into this world. We will very likely have to witness their deaths, the deaths of our grandparents, the deaths of friends and pets before dying ourselves. Why is that considered acceptable? Why are we supposed to be able to tolerate that and yet, they shouldn't be expected to tolerate suicide? It's a double standard. Plus, if we hadn't been born, we wouldn't need to suicide!

In bringing a sentient being here, there runs a risk that it will suffer. It will be exposed to an enormous variety of risk in fact. Plus, it will have it's own mind. It may not act in a way that pleases its parents. Parents are taking that risk when they choose to bring a child here. They shouldn't actually expect their offspring to comply to the life that they imposed on it.

Also, insisting that a person live when they are in pain or suffering and, see no way of changing their situation is also immoral. It's utterly cruel in fact. What kind of person that proclaims to love another insists on it staying alive in order to witness it suffer?!! That's messed up!

It's also another double standard. As in- whatever it is you're going through that's so bad that it makes you want to kill yourself- you can just snap out of it. Nothing in life is insurmountable. Nothing should make you that upset... Oh but- if you suicide, I won't get over it. It will utterly destroy me. My (as yet) unexperienced pain will be so much worse than whatever trifles you're dealing with. Who's being more selfish at the end of the day?

That all said, I do actually feel an emotional commitment to stay until my Dad goes. I feel that in my heart though, because I love him and can't bear to think of him upset.

I won't tolerate it as an argument by doctors, therapists, helpline people though. I don't agree with emotional blackmail being used as some manipulative threat to guilt us into staying here. I think it's an appalling thing to put on someone who is obviously already struggling.

I'm so sorry for your situation. I grew up with a (suspected) narcissist who accused me of all sorts of awful things I hadn't done. Even though it wasn't at a legal level, the whole experience was terrible so, I feel a great swell of pity for people who are wrongly accused.

I hope it gets resolved quickly. If it's an individual, are you able to counter-sue for slander, libel or, defamation of character? I have a feeling I'd do that now- if it ever happened to me as an adult. Fight back. Although, that obviously costs money.