Venting Is life beautiful and hard at the same time?

[Eren]

One of the things that surprise me is that when someone tells a problem they often say "life is hard ... life is like that" and I really agree with that, but it strikes me that when someone knew about my thoughts of CTB (my mother, psychiatrist etc ...) tell me "Why? Life is very beautiful!" LOL

I do not try to depress anyone, but it is highly contradictory.

 

[lukaszz12]

People who say life is beautiful are clueless fucks who don't have it hard at all and don't how how painful it can get.

 

[J.E. Morrow]

People who say life is beautiful are clueless fucks who don't have it hard at all and don't how how painful it can get.

I totally agree.

 

[21Neberg]

I don't think life is beautiful at all - I view it as a punishment, really. We're thrown into this world expected to enjoy it and even be thankful for it, even though this world is so so horrible.

Lil Peep actually made a great song titled 'Life Is Beautiful'


this is the Genius description of it:
The song's lyrical content dives into themes of life, death, and depression. Peep sings regarding the negative aspects of life while also recognizing the beauty of life. Bouncing back and forth between these two ideologies, the song finally settles on its initial depressing theme with Peep imagining a death alone in his room from a drug overdose.

 

[ReadyasEver]

I've seen both extremes of the debate. Life is not totally worthless, nor is it unicorns and rainbows all the time. I've seen really good people dealt terrible consequences and trauma, I've seen real scumbags skate through with no consequences. I really hate the life is not fair talk the way some present it. It really is not fair, but not in the manner they think.

 

[Eren]

I've seen both extremes of the debate. Life is not totally worthless, nor is it unicorns and rainbows all the time. I've seen really good people dealt terrible consequences and trauma, I've seen real scumbags skate through with no consequences. I really hate the life is not fair talk the way some present it. It really is not fair, but not in the manner they think.

In my case I do not have a difficult life, I do not have economic problems, I do not have great traumas or a bad family situation, I just feel bad, I do not enjoy life.

 

[pleasethistime]

In my case I do not have a difficult life, I do not have economic problems, I do not have great traumas or a bad family situation, I just feel bad, I do not enjoy life.

did you try antidepressants?

 

[Eren]

did you try antidepressants?

Yes, for quite some time, and it did not help me.

 

[couragetodie]

oh yes there have been beautiful moments throughout my life but I just see such a shit future that I can't imagine much more beauty and it makes me sick to think of suffering so much longer. I even find beauty in SS — the beauty of strangers supporting each other without judgment. I see beauty in other things personal to me. But there is too much tragedy around the corner for me to keep going. I have lived enough years to know that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. If you want to see beauty, you need not look far — just look at nature, at architecture, at music. But for me, I have begun to isolate, to turn away from beauty and to consciously focus on my wretched future to motivate myself to ctb rather than be distracted by beauty. My circumstances indicate that my bouts with sanity, anxiety and depression have led me to realize that I cannot live here anymore. I don't want to be homeless, locked up, or end up an even bigger humiliation to myself, family and so forth. I hope there is beauty in the afterlife or nothing at all. Just want to end this fucking suffering once and for all.

 

[Eren]

oh yes there have been beautiful moments throughout my life but I just see such a shit future that I can't imagine much more beauty and it makes me sick to think of suffering so much longer. I even find beauty in SS — the beauty of strangers supporting each other without judgment. I see beauty in other things personal to me. But there is too much tragedy around the corner for me to keep going. I have lived enough years to know that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. If you want to see beauty, you need not look far — just look at nature, at architecture, at music. But for me, I have begun to isolate, to turn away from beauty and to consciously focus on my wretched future to motivate myself to ctb rather than be distracted by beauty. My circumstances indicate that my bouts with sanity, anxiety and depression have led me to realize that I cannot live here anymore. I don't want to be homeless, locked up, or end up an even bigger humiliation to myself, family and so forth. I hope there is beauty in the afterlife or nothing at all. Just want to end this fucking suffering once and for all.

Hugs <3

 

[couragetodie]

Thank you @Eren. Like I said — there is even some beauty in simple gestures like that on this site.

 

[ReadyasEver]

couragetodie, I understand completely. My future is well, non-existent. I'm trying to use this time to be self reflective and also appreciate all those things I took for granted. It does not make me sad or gain hope to look at the beauty in this world. In my case, it provides some closure. When it comes time, I'll have less of those thoughts calling out, " You need to do this...." running through my head. Everyone has a slightly different outlook or strategy, this works for me.