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N

noname223

Archangel
Aug 18, 2020
5,426
Disclaimer: This post is not intended to shit on this concept. But something recently happened which puzzled me and invoked questions.


I have one close friend in college. He is one of the nicest guy I know. He is genuinely a good person. He helps so many people, way more than for his own well-being. He is a great guy. I have huge respect for him. He knows I am mentally ill and treats me very well.

Though some weeks ago something happened. He left a racist remark about another person in front of a crowd. The person who he insulted is kind of a jerk but he is often the butt of the joke. I saw in his face how bad he felt after saying it. Later he even apologized for it because he had a guilty conscience.

However when I met him and we were alone he double-downed on his remark. And left another racist remark. So I am kind of puzzled.

This dude is so sensitive to other people, shows empathy and compassion. But then he leaves such remarks.

I don't know what I shall think. I don't know what his real stance on political correctness is though. But so far he seemed to very correct to different minorities.

I ask myself the following. Does he think racist jokes/jokes about minorties are okay when it is not in public? I kind of understand that logic. One can make such jokes without meaning them in a bad way. That there is a dichotomy between public and private jokes. I can understand this notion in some way. I don't necessarily agree with it though. I also sometimes like political incorrect jokes. But it depends on the context. In his case I found his remark not good because it targeted a real person. (who already is exposed to a lot of bullying because of their ethnicity.)

For me I rather like satire shows with sometimes edgy jokes. For example The Boondocks. I like them because they don't target another real person, rather they play with exaggeration and stereotypes. They don't mean it seriously. They don't strengthen stereotypes they rather expose them. But I also can understand why people could consider this show as insulting.

But for me there is a huge difference. The show is fictional but he targeted a real person.

I see this sometimes with politically correct people. When they are behind closed doors they start to crack some pretty nasty and edgy jokes. Not really racist but in other sense potentially offending.

So is it a hypocrisy to publicly be politically correct and secretly cracking these jokes? I am not sure about it. I am ambivalent about it. If you say something like that publicly you will hurt the feeling of other people. But when you do these jokes with your friends and they know you don't mean it seriously it does not hurt anyone.

However this is not really widespread with my friends. And I prefer that.

What do you think about it? I am still not sure about my friend's intentions. It puzzles me.
 
Last edited:
Pluto

Pluto

Meowing to go out
Dec 27, 2020
4,163
All of it is a facade. Political correctness is learned, as is racism. If someone evolves to the point where they can be completely consistent, utterly authentic and fully integrated in all situations, they have mastered life.
 
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K

Kawika12

Member
Jan 8, 2023
29
All the PC crowd cares about is how they are seen in public. Most of the worst human beings I've seen consider themselves PC.
 
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D

Doctors HATE them

She/they
Nov 16, 2022
91
I think an important distinction here is leftist vs liberal. I find that liberals tend to only care about appearances while leftists tend to be more authentic. Ofc there's exceptions but that's what I've found. There's also another factor. I think people who've experienced bigotry are more likely to be politically correct. So basically leftist minorities are the most likely to truly believe in what they're saying.
 
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Outandproud

Outandproud

Don’t send pm without asking first
Oct 17, 2021
174
Humm, its a valid question.. personally i feel kind of identified and shamed.. idk your friend more than this description u gave, so I can't say anything about him nor can i say anything about all pc people. I do think, im sure of, we all have a bit of misoginy, racist, transfobic, classist, and whatever other hate and negative thoughts, even if we belong to that minority or disadvantaged group (for example im a woman and i have been called a slut by other women and myself have called other girls sluts or at least thought about it). Its part of a sociable unconscious process. But as we become aware of the damage our shit causes to other people -and if we are truly good heart human beings- we try to repress it and control our behaviors and thinking process. In this context, humour acts like a pression valvular mechanism. It doesn't make your friend comment less racist though as it doesn't make my comments less misogynistic. So, i guess hipocresy is in everything and everyone, despite of the ideology we preach, some more some less but still..
 
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Heartaches

Heartaches

Apologizing for my life and ever entering yours
May 6, 2021
261
Yes, political correctness can be used as a facade to appeal to specific groups, but without actually believing it. Companies and celebrities do it all the time.

I think it's important to remark that political correctness can come from any place of the political spectrum and in ways that can go unnoticed. For example, when politicians refer to third-world countries as "developing countries", or in speeches geared towards the general population, using wording such as "women and men in this country", regardless if they're left or right leaning. Political correctness isn't necessarily good or bad, imo, it depends on how you use it and what the purpose is, cause it can be co-opted for malicious intent.

In the case of your friend, it's a bit difficult to determine, but it sounds like he is. Doubling down on racist remarks is a bad sign and his apology might have come out of pressure, not actual guilt. But as I said, it's difficult to assess as I don't know him. However, one thing I will say is that you can totally be politically correct and educated in certain minority issues, but not on others; or completely disregard your beliefs for a second; which can lead to believing or spouting discriminatory beliefs, intentionally or not. An example I could give is when people who advocate for mental health or care deeply about it use the "r" word to refer to something stupid. The "r" word has historically been used against autistic people, so it is only for them to reclaim and use (as far as I'm aware). It's not only about words tho, but also about attitudes and how you conduct yourself. You can be a male feminist but talk over women's issues, not letting women speak, which would be very disrespectful.

This is not to say your friend or anyone who has been guilty of these issues are terrible people by default, we've all been insensitive or rude at some time in our lives because we were raised in societies where discrimination against certain minorities has been normalized. That's why we educate ourselves on different topics even if they do not affect out lives: to unlearn the mistakes from the past and build a better and more inclusive society. There's currently a big problem among leftist circles about holding someone accountable without antagonizing them for the rest of their life as an irredimable asshole. While some people do deserve the backlash due to their words/actions, others have received it out of proportion. It puts us in a dilemma where we don't want people to get out scott-free, but we also want them to learn and grow as people.

With your friend, I feel if he is truly sorry, he will learn from the experience and educate himself. Not saying this out of spite, just genuinely hoping he learns and stops saying racist things, no matter if they're directed at an individual or a group.

Edgy jokes walk on a fine line, as they can easily just become an excuse for propagating hate speech, though, not always. Haven't seen the Boondocks, but I've heard good things about and seen some clips on youtube, it looks fun and I'd love to watch it someday.

On the topic of comedy, I'd recommend F.D. Signifier's yt video titled "Dave Chapelle Only Tells Half The Truth". It mostly focuses on the discussion around Chapelle's comedy special on Netflix, but brings some interesting points to the table. Another one I could recommend is "Comedian Tells Joke, Everyone Loses Their Mind" by Coffee Break. Don't personally agree as much with this one, but I thought it'd only be fair to show different perspectives. There are probably more videos, but those are the ones that came to mind.

Cheers!​
 
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J

JealousOfTheElderly

Everything's gonna be OK
Aug 28, 2020
197
It depends what you mean by "racist remark" . Is it something "serious like the n-word" or is it pointing out something obvious like a certain group of people commit most crimes and are given a pass as of 2020?
"Racism" lost it's meaning. I wouldn't worry about it. By today's standards, everyone is a horrible racist,---ist, etc.
 
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Q

qiuyu

Member
Feb 2, 2023
21
Racism is disgusting but people dehumanize non pc sometimes it's not right either
 
sserafim

sserafim

brighter than the sun, that’s just me
Sep 13, 2023
9,015
Everything is only a facade
 
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