Is recovery really possible?

[Embers]

Is there really such a thing as recovery? I've been on various anti depressants/psychotics/sedatives/mood stablisers over the years, and whilst there have been some better times, there is also always feeling suicidal/worthless/lost pretty much constantly.
I don't seem to be able to function as a human. Is there actually such a thing as getting better? Is it possible to actually exist without having exit plans, without being suicidal and overwhelmed, without being depressed? Or is this just a pipe dream? I see people who genuinley seem to have their shit together and see to be enjoying life, and I wonder whether it's actually truthful, or if they too have a hard time existing? Is enjoying life really possible, or are we trying to achieve something that doesn't exist?

 

[WornOutLife]

Well, I had been a suicidal NEET for 3 years and now I've managed to "recover". You know, I'm studying again, have a job, enjoy my free time and seldom I work out or try to date girls.

HOWEVER...

I think 100% recovery is impossible, at least for me, because suicide will always be on my mind.
Every time things get really bad I'm like "Okay. Not a big deal. I'll just ctb and that's it."

It's as if I was programmed to ctb whereas normal people are programmed to live.

Anyway, I'll keep on living for now but damn, it's so hard.

 

[saltshaker]

Life is not a disney movie, there is no happy ending.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

I think it's about finding whatever works for the individual. Some won't find anything that will ever make them stop being suicidal, that's a fact. I don't think I can recover but I can have an ok quality of life here in the basement until whenever my time is up, be it tomorrow or ten years from now. Palliative self-care: gym, sour grapes.

 

[Breakout92]

I think it's possible for some people, but we don't have the psychiatric tools to cure everyone. Nor should we, because to cure some people would require changing their minds in such a way that they become a fundamentally different person.

 

[Gunnersup]

I recovered a few weeks ago, woke up and had no suicidal thoughts. It was spontaneous but I'm happy I've recovered

 

[Red]

Not sure about full recovery - I have this looming dread that, if at any point I actually start enjoying life and not at least passively wishing I'd just drop dead, life will be whipped away from me before I even know what's going on

Its always going to be opposite to what I really want. Even now, in "recovery", I still wouldn't mind dying, I've just chosen not to ctb just yet and to persevere for a while longer. Not actively wanting to end it but daring not to throw myself all the way in, lest it be taken away - live has been ridiculously contrary thus far so I don't expect anything less (or more?) from the future!

 

[UseItOrLoseIt]

Not sure about full recovery - I have this looming dread that, if at any point I actually start enjoying life and not at least passively wishing I'd just drop dead, life will be whipped away from me before I even know what's going on

live has been ridiculously contrary thus far so I don't expect anything less (or more?) from the future!

I have that feeling too. The old "don't fly too close to the sun".
Oh, I won't, I'm stuck. And this makes me kinda grounded, more resilient to life's challenges, indifferent to unexpected changes. If I don't expect things to get better (or worse), then I can't really fail, or at least succumb to the shock of failure. There is nothing that could happen to make me wanna ctb. I already want to!!!

 

[Aliali1992]

of course there are people who recover and lots of them. To be honest when i am doing good i don't log in here and so do people who recover so it seems that no body is recovering.

 

[Sensei]

If you have suffered so badly that you want to die, I think full recovery is impossible. There will always be a scar and you can't unthink the thought of killing yourself. However, I think it's possible to recover to 90 % and live something resembling a normal life and that's good enough for me.

 

[Fehler]

It's sad, but for some I don't think it's possible. Even if life smiles at you in all possible ways and everything was fine, those declines can always return. You can cope with life, especially if you have been without negative daily thoughts or early attempts for a long time. Well that's what i think

 

[signifying nothing]

I think it's probably akin to building a house on dodgy foundations - unless you rectify the underlying problems you're never going to be able to build something that isn't going to crack apart and/or fall down again at some point.

 

[Moose.000]

I think in our case "recovery" is more of a sling to a torn shoulder. We deal with the pain throughout life, some days worse than others, without ever being able to afford the surgery. The sling is all we get for temporary comfort.

 

[Hirokami]

Well, take treatment-resistant depression (TRD) as an example. These are people who have tried multiple times, though none of the conventional methods worked for them. They either had to learn to live with their depression or undergo electroconvulsive therapy as a last-ditch effort. Sadly, in cases such as that, recovery isn't always possible.

Even in people who don't have TRD or similar conditons, there's also the matter of being able to access the resources which would lead to recovery.

In an ideal world, everyone would have the proper means to access the necessary resources. Unfortunately, we live in a far from ideal world. In any case, recovery is often difficult and sometimes not even possible. I'd like to think I'm in a better place than where I was back then but I'm still pretty messed up.

 

[dandan]

Is there really such a thing as recovery? I've been on various anti depressants/psychotics/sedatives/mood stablisers over the years, and whilst there have been some better times, there is also always feeling suicidal/worthless/lost pretty much constantly.
I don't seem to be able to function as a human. Is there actually such a thing as getting better? Is it possible to actually exist without having exit plans, without being suicidal and overwhelmed, without being depressed? Or is this just a pipe dream? I see people who genuinley seem to have their shit together and see to be enjoying life, and I wonder whether it's actually truthful, or if they too have a hard time existing? Is enjoying life really possible, or are we trying to achieve something that doesn't exist?

I thought it wasn't , until I've tried TRT , I'm off the bus to the CTB station. Feel alright , my issues now are greed, I want more than my job, I want the girl who is engaged, and want to be terribly funny and run my first half marathon. This after 20 year depression and 2 or 3 suicide attempts (one I just can't remember what happened, I'd probably tried to kill myself, I'll never now what happen that night)