Is the peace normal?

[kjs0995]

When I was 18 I attempted suicide, but barely. Didn't educate myself, took a handful of otc meds, and didn't help anything. I attempted again on Tuesday, took 120 prescription meds, smoked a bowl, was just going to go to sleep and not wake up. Well I got interrupted, 911 called, driven to the hospital and spent the night in ICU, then the psych floor. I convinced them to let me leave, but it changed nothing. I want to be done. Life is exhausting. Since I decided Monday, I was no longer wanting to live, I've had an eerie calm feeling. Like life is coming together. Is this something others have experienced?


Side note: my intention is to partial hanging this next time. I think Monday

 

[AhG]

Police called you, or you called them? Sorry you didn't make it mate.
I have experienced calmness and anger and happiness. Calm being a little after Christmas when realizing my wife I are over. Anger after new years knowing nothing was suppose to be this at and happiness knowing I'm going to end it soon. Honestly, you'll go through a slew of emotions.

 

[Heart Shards]

I think knowing death is close is peaceful for some, it is for me. my bullshit and problems won't have to drag on for another fourty years, hell that should sound peaceful to everyone. I won't have to work when I'm to tired anymore. I'm scared what happens after death, but I'm more scared of living another fourty years. In short, I would say what you're feeling is normal.

 

[Fallen]

For me it was a sense of control. I've always been trying to figure out what to do next but when I had a date set, it's much easier to enjoy the days getting there since I already knew how it's gonna end. It doesn't matter if things get worse because I knew it wouldn't matter in x days.

 

[kjs0995]

Police called you, or you called them? Sorry you didn't make it mate.
I have experienced calmness and anger and happiness. Calm being a little after Christmas when realizing my wife I are over. Anger after new years knowing nothing was suppose to be this at and happiness knowing I'm going to end it soon. Honestly, you'll go through a slew of emotions.

My boyfriend came home early, I had told him I was sick and laying down earlier in the day so when he came home I'd be left alone. But I seized and fell out of bed. The thud alerted him, he came in and called 911.

 

[kjs0995]

I think knowing death is close is peaceful for some, it is for me. my bullshit and problems won't have to drag on for another fourty years, hell that should sound peaceful to everyone. I won't have to work when I'm to tired anymore. I'm scared what happens after death, but I'm more scared of living another fourty years. In short, I would say what you're feeling is normal.

I have had the same thing. Where I'm scared of what's next, I don't necessarily believe in afterlife, but I'm way more scared and overwhelmed by the thought of living another 40 years. The thought of that makes me pinch. The bills, holidays with shitty family, drama. It's all too much.

 

[Lady black]

Good luck with your hanging, it´s sad to survive an attempt

 

[kjs0995]

Good luck with your hanging, it´s sad to survive an attempt

I agree completely. Everyone is mad at you, disappointed. But gives no credit that life was so overwhelming that you made the ultimate decision of suicide.they are selfish

 

[Jen Erik]

Is this something others have experienced?

Yes. It's like a sense of relief and calm for me knowing that I am at least a step closer to being out of pain.

 

[21Neberg]

I have had the same thing. Where I'm scared of what's next, I don't necessarily believe in afterlife, but I'm way more scared and overwhelmed by the thought of living another 40 years. The thought of that makes me pinch. The bills, holidays with shitty family, drama. It's all too much.

Really sorry to read this, I genuinely hope you find peace tomorrow.

 

[Sixfeetunder]

Yes, it's completely normal to feel at peace when you have made up your mind. Deciding whether to ctb or not or considering it but not being sure can be stressful. One of the warning signs of suicide is if someone has been down and is suddenly happier.

 

[Lady black]

Hope you will succeed tommorow. You should do testruns before, to make sure it will work. Partial hanging is a good way if done right

 

[VoloFataliDoce]

It's normal to have peace when you've decided on a date. There are numerous studies on this and it is very common. It certainly was for me on my failed attempts. The thought that I would be free of all of my pain was incredible. After I realized I had failed, everything came rushing back; it was the worst feeling.

 

[VoloFataliDoce]

And of course, good luck and best wishes to you.