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Xyzabc1813

New Member
Jan 12, 2025
2
I am single aged 30 and from a family where everyone has certain expectations from every other person. I think I have acted well enough for so long for others around me making them believe I am happy with whatever I am doing. On the contrary, I was never happy because of every event that unfolded for me.

I just want to end my life and feel nothing. But, I do not want my family to know about suicide. I want my death to be from either a serious disease or heart attack etc. Though I know I will feel nothing after life but I do not want to let down my parents by making it look like suicide. For instance, after some research I found that consuming more than 800mg of caffeine every day is very dangerous as permissable limit is 400mg of caffeine. Hence, I am consuming 800mg of caffeine daily through my coffee drinks. It's been almost a month. I don't see any affect on my body other than small affects.

So, I want to know if someone has better ideas for death which can take some time but the cause of death shouldn't be suicide. Thanks for reading my story.
 
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TheHolySword

TheHolySword

empty heart
Nov 22, 2024
669
Nothing that's guaranteed. Anything would likely cause you to be in pain for a long period of time without the guarantee of death. Some people opt to take in as much carcinogens as possible but that is also not a guarantee of death. It's very difficult for someone to make a death look like an accident, prolonged deaths are also difficult to purposefully achieve. Generally speaking, if you CTB, they'll figure out if it was a suicide. It's possible to make things like jumping or drug ODs look like an accident but I wouldn't count on it.