Venting is there really anything to look forward too?

[resteasy3232]

My life feels the same every day, and I can't quite figure out why. I probably just feel incredibly lazy, but it's frustrating to do nothing but lie in bed all day. I've spent most of my life immersed in the internet, and I regret growing up on the darker side of it. I often feel different from others, and I know many people can relate to that. Since my girlfriend passed away, I've never experienced suicidal thoughts before, but now they consume my mind. To others, it seems like I'm healing and doing better, but inside, it's all I can think about. I wish I didn't have to face this alone; sometimes, I wish someone would take that burden from me, so I wouldn't have to be held responsible for my own death.

I talk to people about how i feel but it really doesn't change anything, I feel like nothing can help how i feel.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I think, whether there's anything to look forward to or not is a pretty much subjective experience/feeling. I'm sorry for your loss - it's so difficult for us to lose someone we love.

 

[outrider567]

My life feels the same every day, and I can't quite figure out why. I probably just feel incredibly lazy, but it's frustrating to do nothing but lie in bed all day. I've spent most of my life immersed in the internet, and I regret growing up on the darker side of it. I often feel different from others, and I know many people can relate to that. Since my girlfriend passed away, I've never experienced suicidal thoughts before, but now they consume my mind. To others, it seems like I'm healing and doing better, but inside, it's all I can think about. I wish I didn't have to face this alone; sometimes, I wish someone would take that burden from me, so I wouldn't have to be held responsible for my own death.

I talk to people about how i feel but it really doesn't change anything, I feel like nothing can help how i feel.

That's my situation also, been almost three years now since my girlfriend of 35 years passed away, when she died, I quickly realized that I had nothing to look forward to anymore(we had no kids or pets), and suicidal thoughts entered my mind within days--My Nitrogen tank, which I got three months later, is still here
I hate this time of year, gets dark way too early, and I don't care about Thanksgiving, Christmas, or New Years anymore, indeed I dread these upcoming holidays

 

[TheHolySword]

That is unfortunately a question that no one can answer for you. Personally, though, I can relate. All I do is work and come home to nothing and repeat it all the next day. There is nothing that I can look forward to anymore or be happy about. It's hard to to change that mindset, but it is possible. There are small, seemingly mundane things in life that we can set ourselves up to be excited about. Maybe there's a book you always wanted to read, or a movie coming out soon, or a new video game. It doesn't have to be anything big and grand. I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope that you are able to heal and I hope that you find your peace

 

[resteasy3232]

That's my situation also, been almost three years now since my girlfriend of 35 years passed away, when she died, I quickly realized that I had nothing to look forward to anymore(we had no kids or pets), and suicidal thoughts entered my mind within days--My Nitrogen tank, which I got three months later, is still here
I hate this time of year, gets dark way too early, and I don't care about Thanksgiving, Christmas, or New Years anymore, indeed I dread these upcoming holidays

35 years wow, im sorry for your loss you are stronger then me I would have been gone by then lol, i wish you the best though

 

[saii]

I am sorry for your loss, obviously, no one knows exactly how you feel but many of us have lost loved ones and I really sympathize and know that pain.

I have too spent many years only connected through the internet, almost feeling like the world is fake (Which I know might sound crazy but when you are alone for years it tends to fuck with you) spending every day lying in bed doing nothing just being really sad, I have a really hard time talking to people or making connections.

As far as looking forward personally there isn't really anything as I am just counting my days, but as TheHolySword said books, music, games and movies are pretty much the only things I feel excited about these days, that's not to say they are a source of happiness but they do provide distraction and a way to cope.

What sucks for me is I do not have any friends to talk about my interests with so I am sort of stuck in a never-ending loop of getting excited about a piece of entertainment and then getting depressed because I have no output for my thoughts. So maybe if you have friends you can talk with about things you like, this might make you feel better or at least help you get distracted.

Many of us yearn for someone to tell them it's going to be ok and that it will work out and that one day we will be happy, but as this is a suicide forum none of us can say it since we don't believe it ourselves. But what I can say is I still hope it for you and everyone else on this website and really wish you the best.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

Not for me in this life . I only look forward to my suicide and beautiful non-existence for all time