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cantdecidenameeven

Member
Oct 2, 2024
30
Doubt anyone remembers, a few weeks ago I made a post detailing how I've made my mother cry because I now lack the energy to fake being a Muslim. Not putting my head on the ground 5 times a day because some bitch ass pedophile told me to do so 1400 years ago.

I know I'm not responsible for anyone's happiness and all that talk. I understand and respect that perspective, but that's still my mom. I made her cry again and she told me how much I'm hurting her by not doing this simplest thing (praying) after all she's been doing for me. Valid.

I'd do anything for her. But I'm tired of masking. I'm not gonna spend 14 hours masking at work and at uni, just to go home and continue masking. Fuck that shit, I don't have that in me anymore. I have no energy for much of anything really. Not for talking, texting, working out, making art, and all that. Things that I enjoy to an extent.

In Islam, if you die during prayer you're guaranteed heaven where you fuck 72 virgins and drink endless titty milk. If you kill yourself, you're guaranteed eternal damnation. Maybe it's fire, or maybe it's being tied to a chair and forced to unironically watch SNL forever.

How do I make my suicide seem like a miracle? I know SN would show up in the autopsy. Preferably I want to do die in a praying position or holding the Quran in my hand, so my parents are at ease thinking I'm in heaven, drinking endless wine mixed with titty milk.

TL;DR I want to make it seem like God has forgiven me for being a rebel that he gave me a happy ending. So how do I kill myself without anyone knowing it was suicide?
 
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Lifeless Living

Lifeless Living

New Member
Nov 21, 2024
2
I saw a method where you make yourself pass out by hyperventilating for like 5-10 minutes (it was like a stupid tiktok trend a while ago) then jump into a body of water so the cut off of oxygen makes you pass out so you drown.
 
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blackbeauty

blackbeauty

I hope you won't completely forget me.
Sep 24, 2024
46
Hey,

I'm sorry about the pain your going through having to mask your true beliefs to make others happy. I don't share the same faith as your family background (raised as a Christian) but I have experienced a similar scenario and I understand how this can have such an impact on your mental health as respecting your parents wishes is such a big thing in Islam and Christianity.

When I went through this, putting physical distance between me and my mom helped me avoid her (respectfully) emotionally manipulative tactics and gave me the chance to live life as I wanted. There's still tension but it doesn't impact my mental health as much anymore.

Is there any chance of your circumstances changing so that you can live your truth? Just a thought but I respect whatever decision you choose.
 

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